


We Shined Like Diamonds

by Limwen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aint nobody got time for romance, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Although the past relationships become obvious pretty soon, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Fighting, Flashbacks, Gen, I Didnt Tag The Relationships Because Romance Is Dead, I think the flashbacks make it sadder, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Its the middle of a zombie apocalypse lets be real, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sorry not sorry if i kill your fave, Sort Of, Zombie Apocalypse, ill add more tags later, its super sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 20:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 62,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11974881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Limwen/pseuds/Limwen
Summary: They were once a bright, large group of 13 friends who thought nothing could break them. Little did they know, the world had different plans.





	1. "You Call Yourself A Leader?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are high and Seungcheol doesn't really know what to do

Seungcheol’s hands trembled as he held the gun out in front of him. He could do this. He could pull the trigger and shoot. The thing in front of him wasn't even human anymore. It growled, tangled up in the mess of barbed wire they used to keep them out. It glared up at him with wide, white eyes contrasting it's gray and purple skin--that was, where skin was left. He could definitely do this. It wasn't alive. He wasn't killing a living being. It was dying, slowly, from the disease that ate away at it's brains for God knows how long. It didn't have much hair anymore, and barely any teeth. It only seemed to have it's carnivore fangs left. It's nails were long and dirty. It was a pure, brainless zombie.

And yet… He couldn't do this. 

The gunshot he heard came from behind him and it made him flinch. When he opened his eyes again, the thing was dead and unmoving, blood seeping from the new hole in it's forehead. He heard footsteps coming closer and he reluctantly turned around to see Wonwoo, staring him down. Those few centimeters of height Wonwoo had on him seemed to make a huge difference now. He looked completely unforgiving, and he made Seungcheol look completely pathetic.

“You call yourself a leader?” Wonwoo growled, “ _ Man up. _ ” 

He pushed the shorter male out of his way and went to dispose of the corpse, knowing the smell would draw more to the area.

It was true, Seungcheol was a total mess when it came to killing. He was too empathetic, unlike Wonwoo. All he could think about when he had a gun pointed at a creature was that  _ it could be one of them _ . Them, meaning his group. He knew if it came down to it, Wonwoo wouldn't care whether he had to shoot one of them in the head or not. He's done it before. Wonwoo was a ‘survival of the fittest’ kind of man, and Seungcheol wanted everyone to be okay.

 

Tensions rose three days after the apocalypse started. The thirteen boys had made a pact to stick together no matter what happened. They promised to take care of each other and make sure nothing bad happened, but when madness started to take over sanity, it grew harder and harder to promise to look out for one another.

Soonyoung was the one who got bitten by a zombie firsthand. The creature snuck up on him and attacked him, sinking his teeth into the boy’s shoulder.

“It’s not that bad, really…” Seokmin whispered, more to himself than to the boy lying in the cot they made. He took care of Soonyoung the most after the incident, “You'll feel better in no time.”

The disease gave him a high. Soonyoung would be completely out of it at times, and it became a point of hazard a week later. It led to fights between Seungcheol and Wonwoo: Seungcheol thinking they should do their best to heal him and Wonwoo thinking they should take him out back and shoot him. 

Wonwoo’s suggestion came into play a couple days later when Soonyoung completely lost it and attacked Jihoon during a night watch. It happened so suddenly, without warning, that it didn't give the smaller boy enough time to react before Soonyoung’s hands were wrapped around his throat. Jun and Minghao sat just a few feet away and Jun jumped into action to pull the crazed boy away to no avail. Right before Jihoon blacked out, Wonwoo had been there, aiming his gun carefully as to not shoot anyone but the diseased, and pulled the trigger. The lack of resistance allowed Jihoon to finally rip the hands away from his throat and for Jun to toss the body aside. A few minutes later and they all just decided to dump the body far away from camp, figuring something would eat him, as gruesome as it sounded. The entire scene made the four of them completely different people than before. It made Jihoon more sensitive to his surroundings, Jun protective, Wonwoo tougher and Minghao much more intuitive.

The next morning, it was obvious how the group had split up emotionally. There were the ones who felt the way Wonwoo did, who felt that it truly was a game of survival and they shouldn't be as sensitive to each other as they once might have been, and the ones who were on Seungcheol’s side, who felt it was important to take care of each other as much as possible, no matter what the risk.

It caused the group to slowly fall apart.

Soonyoung’s death was months ago, and he was completely forgotten about.

 

Seungkwan annoyed Jihoon constantly. Jihoon dreaded the days Seungcheol would say “Take Kwan with you” when he mentioned he was going to go somewhere to look for food or anything useful because speaking of useful, Seungkwan definitely wasn't. He would jump at any loud noise--nevermind that, any noise at all--and grip onto Jihoon so tight he was sure one day the boy would leave him with a broken bone. Jihoon knew Seungkwan would rather be hanging out with Vernon or something, too, so he didn't feel wrong when he'd mention how much he couldn't fucking stand him, which was pretty often. 

“What can I do?” Seungkwan asked during one of those torture trips, and Jihoon tried not to be obvious when he groaned in annoyance.

“Go back.”

“I can't do that!”

Jihoon whipped around and clamped his hand over Seungkwan’s mouth, “Shut up!” he whispered harshly. Seungkwan’s initial shock died down enough for Jihoon to decide it was safe to let him go, “You can.”

“What if a zombie attacks me?” Seungkwan whimpered

“Then I will get down on my knees right here, thank the Lord Jesus, and continue on my way.” 

“You know, you're not very funny…”

“I'm not trying to be, now if you're not gonna leave just  _ shut up _ and let me do my thing.” He growled at the boy and Seungkwan finally got the hint. He stayed quiet, and let Jihoon find some food.

Sometimes Joshua thought he was funny and called Jihoon “Katniss”, because he was good with a bow and could shoot and kill just about anything in one shot. It was a skill he never wished to possess, but after a while he realized it was easier to make arrows than to find bullets for guns. It was a pain in the ass to retrieve the arrows he already shot, though, but for the most part it was something easily done. He practiced on trees and any piece of garbage useful enough to be a target in his spare time, which eventually led to him being able to hunt for food and even kill wandering zombies when it was necessary. 

He pointed the arrow at a rather large bird in a tree and kept one eye open and locked on the target. He waited, and when the bird finally took off he followed it and released the arrow at just the right time for the bird to fall from the sky. He sighed in relief and pushed Seungkwan’s shoulder, “Go get it.”

“So this is it, huh? Your plan? You're going to abandon me in the woods!”

“I can't fucking  _ stand _ you.” Jihoon snarled at him and made the trek himself, Seungkwan quickly following right behind him.

 

Vernon laughed at the way Seungkwan carried dead birds. He had three in each hand and held their feet together by the tips of his fingers, not wanting to touch them at all. Jihoon said it was ‘character building’, but Seungkwan thought it was because Jihoon hated him. (And Jihoon didn't hate him, but he'd rather take a Bichon Frise on his walks instead). Out of pity, Vernon took the birds from Seungkwan into their little campsite.

“For God's sake…” Jihoon grumbled when Wonwoo came practically charging in, looking as though he attempted to block them from entering.

“Six birds.”

Jihoon looked at the birds in Vernon’s hands, “Seems about right.”

“Twelve people.”

“Correct again.” Jihoon folded his arms.

“That's half a bird per person.”

“Wow, your math is on  _ fire _ today, Jeon.”

“It's not enough.”

Jihoon made a step closer, taking the bow and quiver off his shoulder, “If you think you can do better,” he shoved both tools into Wonwoo’s chest, “be my fucking guest.” Vernon and Seungkwan hid their smiles as they passed him, following Jihoon. 

In some sense of apology, Wonwoo wasted his afternoon making Jihoon five new, sturdy bows.

 

Joshua was the peacekeeper. He made sure the group followed the main rules: 

  1. No one shall harm or kill another sane individual
  2. Food is rationed to be split twelve ways, two times a day to ensure the group does not run out too fast
  3. Everyone does their share of work unless the group unanimously decides otherwise
  4. The needs of the many will always outweigh the needs of the few



For the most part, he did a good job. Except for obvious tensions between a couple of them, the group did what they needed to do as a team. In the beginning there were only three rules, but after Chan broke his ankle after kicking a zombie’s skull clear off it's body, the group made the decision he deserved to properly rest until fully healed. The reason it had to be an absolutely unanimous vote was because not only would the one person be out of work, but also Seokmin or Jun, the ‘resident healers’ (because ‘nurse’ didn't sound right) who would be taking care of them. After losing Soonyoung, Seungcheol decided they couldn't really be taking advantage of the number of people they had if they wanted to survive. 

And Chan  _ hated _ being on bed rest. He had the urge to move and if Jun didn't let him get out of the damn cot within the next two days, he was going to freak out. Jun was extremely strict when it came to health, though, so Chan could complain all he wanted but he wasn't getting early dismissal on his watch. That was the reason Seungcheol chose Jun to take care of him and not Seokmin, because Seokmin would cave if Chan whined enough. 

“I swear I'm feeling a lot better.”

“Good.” was all Jun would say, “You still have about 3 more weeks here.”

They couldn't exactly make perfect casts, so it was crucial for Chan to put absolutely zero pressure on his injury so it could heal faster and better. Chan's cast was just a few pieces of thin wood wrapped and held there by a sweatshirt. Minghao went through a bunch of trial-and-errors to get something to work for the poor kid. Cast making wasn’t his forte.

But Minghao could be fucking insane sometimes. Before they had an actual camp set up where it was damn near impossible for zombies to enter, he was a killing machine. He was praised for it, but deep down it terrified him how powerful he was. He would see something charge at him or anyone near him out of the corner of his eye and it was almost like someone had flipped a switch in his mind and he went full force. One day, he felt he could hurt the wrong person. He stopped counting how many times he saved Jun’s ass over the past few months.

Ever since the camp was set up he spent his time doing typical maintenance and sort of inventing things that could help. He showed Jihoon how to make the arrows and quiver, and later taught Wonwoo and Seungcheol. Minghao was basically a weapon resource, and nobody dared to make anything better. 

“Why don't we just go out and search for guns?” Seokmin suggested when Minghao finished a spare bow. Minghao paused to look up at him.

“Where do you think we would find such advanced weaponry?”

“This isn't 1482. It's the 21st century.” Seokmin said.

Minghao stared blankly.

“Sorry. Too much to ask for, right?”

Minghao nodded.

“Guns need bullets, and it’s not like bullets are in nature. Let me stick to what I can find. Go outside this camp and there's a stick not ten centimeters away. You can make something out of a stick. A slingshot, for example.”

Seokmin laughed, “What would a slingshot do?”

Minghao didn't miss a beat by saying, “Spook an animal so you can lure it out of its hiding spot. Dinner.”

Minghao was smart, but his blunt comment made Seokmin want to become a vegetarian almost instantly. It took him another twenty minutes to convince him it was the only way to survive. Seokmin was almost considered a weak link, but his caring nature made him able to detect when someone was getting sick and prevent them from getting worse. He was really good with medicines. Sometimes he made stuff up and put a bunch of random things together and it still managed to work. It was his intuition.

And Seungcheol admired each of their talents. Even as moody as Wonwoo was, he loved his survival instinct. At the end of the day, they were still a team. 

 

Jeonghan sat right next to Seungcheol during night watch that night. His excuse was that it was getting colder, but Jeonghan had always decided he would get as close as he could during watches. Seungcheol guessed it was really for a sense of protection, but it was obvious that Seungcheol couldn't even save himself.

“I know you're beating yourself up about today. Stop it.” Jeonghan said quietly as to not wake the others.

“Wonwoo’s right.” Seungcheol muttered, glancing over at the other two on guard for tonight, which happened to be Wonwoo and Mingyu, well out of earshot, “I'm not cut out to be a leader.”

“I think so.” Jeonghan placed his hand on Seungcheol’s knee, “You're smart.”

“So is Wonwoo.”

“You’re confident--most of the time.”

“So is Wonwoo--all of the time.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, “Are you going to let me compliment you or not? I don't do it very often.” He said it with a smile, but Seungcheol just kept his gaze downwards, “Look Cheol, we both know you're not the best at anything.” Seungcheol huffed, “But you're pretty versatile. You can make a fire, you can build things, hunt, run… you can do a lot, and when you can't do it you know someone else can do it because people are loyal to you. Nobody's loyal to Wonwoo; they just think he'll kill them if they don't listen.”

It was true. There was obvious fear in how some of them talked about Wonwoo. When Seokmin would do a half-ass job on the fenceline, Seungcheol would hear Chan’s teasing voice call out, “Wonwoo’s gonna  _ kill you~ _ !”, and Seokmin would visibly become nervous and work a lot harder. Seungcheol wasn’t even sure how Wonwoo got to be so powerful in the group, but it was his fault for letting him get to where he was.

Mingyu became Wonwoo’s servant ever since he started gaining power over people. Whatever Wonwoo wanted, Mingyu would fetch it. When Wonwoo was angry enough, he would call Mingyu “Mutt” in front of anyone within ear shot. When Wonwoo wasn't as angry, but still felt like antagonizing the boy, he would call him “Mutt-gyu” instead. The way he treated the other made it clear to the rest what kind of mood he was in. Seungcheol didn’t know if it was because Mingyu just hoped one day Wonwoo would go back to being his normal, happier, more care-free self, or Wonwoo had put him down enough that he actually thought he was lesser at this point, but he put up with it. The thing was, Wonwoo wasn't a  _ total _ asshole. He acted tough and threatened almost everyone, but he knew when he went too far. Seungcheol thought, maybe that's why Mingyu stuck around. Wonwoo’s apologies were always sincere, and Seungcheol thought maybe it was all because deep down, Wonwoo was just scared out of his mind and had no way of coping other than to be a dick to people. The theory kept Seungcheol from beating the shit out of the kid, in all honesty. Jeonghan glanced over just in time to see Wonwoo move his arm and Mingyu flinch away, probably expecting a smack upside the head. It made him snort.

“They’re ridiculous.” 

“I think Mingyu likes him.” Seungcheol mumbled, drawing designs in the ground with a stick.

“Well, yeah. They’ve been friends for years.” Jeonghan answered.

“I mean,  _ likes  _ him.” Seungcheol nearly laughed at the way Jeonghan snapped to attention and furrowed his brows in disbelief.

“You're out of your god damned mind!”

“Come on, he wouldn’t put up with all that if he didn’t feel something for him.”

“Who feel something for who?”

Seungcheol and Jeonghan turned their attention to Mingyu, who was suddenly just a couple feet away. Seungcheol immediately returned to his dirt designing. Jeonghan was quick to answer, “Cheol thinks Jun likes Minghao… what do you think?”

“I’m not sure if--”

“Whatcha want, Mingyu?” Seungcheol cut in and Mingyu turned to him.

“Wonwoo wants a water.” He said as he walked towards the duffle bag a few yards away from Seungcheol and Jeonghan, “And Jun is definitely straight.”

“Completely. I agree.” Jeonghan said, not paying attention as Mingyu returned to his watch spot with Wonwoo. 

Seungcheol let Jeonghan rest his head on his shoulder as dawn started to break along the horizon, “How do you think Mingyu knows Jun is straight, then?” he whispered.

Jeonghan laughed, “I'll let you have your sick, X-rated fantasies of Wonwoo and Mingyu if you truly feel that way.”

“And I'll let you have your perverted thoughts of Jun and Minghao--"

“No! I don't want them.” He laughed again, “I should be hearing ‘thank you, Jeonghan!’. But it's okay. I get it. I'm always screwed over in the end.”

Seungcheol smiled. He didn't know how, but talking to Jeonghan made everything so much better, “You're so dramatic.” 

“Nobody loves me enough to even give me a ‘thank you’.” Jeonghan sighed, “Mingyu is a loudmouth and will probably tell Jun that I think he's fucking Minghao, because you know he's not gonna tell the story straight up. He's gotta make a scene. Jun will probably punch me in the throat by noon.”

“Hope he does. Maybe you'll stop talking.” Seungcheol got a punch to the thigh for that one. In return, he pinched Jeonghan on the arm hard enough for the other boy to shriek and stand up, “Shh, you idiot, there could be a horde of zombies near!” Seungcheol whispered angrily, grabbing his hands and yanking him downwards, almost onto his lap. Jeonghan laughed, not at all intimidated.

Wonwoo glanced over in their direction and watched it all unfold. Mingyu muttered, “They need to get a room, am I right?”

“Cheol’s going to get us all killed.” Wonwoo said, “What  _ they _ need to do is stay the fuck out of my way and let me do what I need to do. He made the rules… the needs of the many outweigh the needs of … those two.”

“Right. That too.” Mingyu replied quickly and decided it would be best to stay quiet for the rest of the watch.


	2. "Three... Blind... Mice..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo, Jihoon and Minghao go on a quest to find more supplies and it doesn't go according to plan

October meant colder weather and more zombies. Something in the weather caused them to spawn when it got colder and it made them even more difficult to deal with. Jihoon, Minghao and Wonwoo’s mega survival instincts came in handy during the colder months. But the problem with them going on resource quests together was that Jun was  _ extremely _ protective of Minghao. And whatever, the other two understood, because the older three were seniors in high school when junior Minghao showed up on the first day of school, not knowing anything about Korea and Jun's initial reaction was to practically adopt him. The two got along right away, but now... There was a time and a place for this crap.

“You are  _ not _ accompanying me.” Minghao said in an attempt to stop Jun from coming with him on a supply run.

“I promised you, at the very beginning of all this, that I would protect you.” Jun smirked, knowing Minghao would crack, “And I. Will. Protect you.”

Minghao hid his smile by looking down at their feet, only looking in the other boy's eyes again when his stone-cold expression came back, “I've protected you more times than you have me. I'm flattered. I truly am. But leave this to the professionals.”

“I'm not letting you leave.” Jun smiled charmingly, grabbing Minghao by the wrists and pulling him closer.

Jihoon and Wonwoo rolled their eyes in unison. Jihoon readjusted the bow around his torso so it stopped cutting into his collarbone and Wonwoo checked the sharpness of his knife on the wooden wall as they waited for the two China boys to break.

Jihoon shouted, “If you don't get your ass over here--"

“I have to go, Jun. I'll be back in one piece I promise.” Minghao said, as calm as he could. He could see in Jun’s expression how much he didn't want to let go. His smile was gone. He did that thing where Minghao could tell he was looking intently at every little detail about him, as if it would be the last time he saw him. In truth, Minghao didn't want to go anywhere without Jun, but he would rather know Jun was safe at base than out with him in the middle of nowhere. Jun was his peace, his home, but he needed to associate all that with the base as well. He came back to reality when he felt Jun squeeze his wrists 

“I trust you.” He said quietly, releasing him.

“Thank you.” Minghao smiled, and made his way to the other two. 

“So what time is your curfew?” Jihoon said sarcastically. Wonwoo snorted.

“Fuck off.” 

“Feisty ninja.” Wonwoo grumbled, letting him and Jihoon follow him outside the walls.

 

Outside the walls was an entirely different world. The entire group of three had to be ready by the time they walked through the gates to the time they go back into the world of “safety" to attack anything that moves. Wonwoo had his knife and assault rifle slung around his back (for emergencies), Jihoon had his bow and arrow, and Minghao had been forced on every trip to bring a small handgun along with his small knives. Jihoon loved his bow, and Wonwoo loved his rifle, but Minghao hated the gun. He preferred things he didn't have to reload and worry about, but Seungcheol liked him to be prepared. He could aim a knife and have it go exactly where he wanted it to go, and he could also retrieve it and use it again. He never used the gun, but he never let Seungcheol know that.

A rock hit the tree to the left of Jihoon. It made them all stop.

“ _ Three...blind...mice…” _

Wonwoo turned to look behind him, Minghao turned the right.

“ _ Three...blind...mice…” _

The voice was too eerie. Too calm. Too close. Getting closer.

“ _....See… how they… RUN!!!”  _

Jihoon heard the rustling leaves, as if someone was running towards them. His eyes finally locked onto a moving target, right behind them. He felt a hand grab his arm and force him to break out into a sprint. No, there was no time to aim and shoot. It was coming at a fast pace and all Jihoon could think about as he ran was what it looked like. It was almost human, but ran on four legs. He assumed it's transformation had just started by the way it talked. He heard it laugh and decided thinking would  _ not _ help him in this situation.

“ _ See... how... they... RUN!!” _ it panted and snarled, laughing in between. 

Minghao turned to the right quickly when he picked up their usual trail. Wonwoo didn't even think as he pulled Jihoon with him to follow, almost making the shorter boy lose his balance. Almost.

“No… no, no, no, no…” Minghao kept saying when he caught two more zombies in his peripheral vision, running right alongside them. He felt his stomach drop and almost felt sick. He made a bad choice going right. 

He felt Wonwoo grab the gun from his hands and fire twice at the new ones. One must have gone down by the looks of it but they kept running. 

“The hut!” Jihoon screamed against the October wind and Minghao nodded, not sure if Jihoon even caught it. He went turned to the left slightly, knowing exactly where to go, but he was running out of breath fast. He wasn't sure if he could make it.

Wonwoo and Jihoon darted past him. It was truly every man for himself out there. No matter how much Seungcheol and Joshua preached teamwork, the three scavengers felt differently. They would protect each other as long as they could without causing themselves to be at risk. Minghao fought himself and pushed forward no matter how much his legs were burning. He shouted out loud when he saw a zombie get close to Jihoon, extending its arms out, teeth bared and felt relief when Jihoon darted to the left. He could see the rundown hut in the distance and used it as motivation. He watched Wonwoo practically jump up the two stairs and barge in, Jihoon behind him. He got worried when he lost sight of the zombie, but Minghao could hear the grunts and growls close in on him as he fired blindly behind him, shooting at nothing in particular.

“ _ Get in motherfucker!”  _ Wonwoo screamed and yanked Minghao inside by the front of his shirt before slamming the door behind him. Minghao fell to the floor and didn't fight it at all, taking in gulps of air and coughing. He could see Jihoon’s figure through the sun peeking through the slats in the walls. He was leaning on the far wall catching his breath as well, but Wonwoo showed no weakness. All was silent for a little while.

“ _ They all ran after the farmer's wife who cut their tails with a carving knife…”   _ long fingernails dragged lightly against the door Wonwoo held shut.

_ “Did you ever see such a thing in your life? As three… blind… mice.”  _

Jihoon's hands went to his head in an attempt to stop his oncoming headaches. Headaches were never a good sign. He'd be damned if he turned into something similar to what was outside. He heard another set of fingers tapping against the wall he was leaning on.

_ “They eated my toes, don't you know?” _

_ “Mice? Are you in thereeeee?” _

_ “Can I have your toes, mice?” _

They were so human it was almost unbearable. They lost it completely, but they weren't like the usual zombies. They were too new in the game to be considered zombies. Too fast, too intelligent.

Wonwoo got his rifle ready and inched towards the window on the side of the hut. He opened up the shutters quietly, snuck through, and shut them behind him. Minghao almost begged him not to go, but he still couldn't catch his breath properly. Jihoon was too focused on not screaming out in pain to even know Wonwoo left.

A gunshot fired and Minghao heard a body thump to the ground. Then another. Two dead. 

Well… more dead.

Neither Jihoon nor Minghao picked their head up when Wonwoo re entered and told them it was safe. The only movement Jihoon made was shaking his head when Wonwoo said they had to move. He couldnt. There was no way in hell he could move at all.

“Either you come with me now or I leave you here to die.”

“No you won't.” Minghao said, “You need us. So you don't die.”

“You need me more than I need you.”

“If it wasn't for me, you'd still be out there running. I led the way.” Minghao struggled to stand up.

“You couldn't even keep up. Maybe next time we  _ will _ leave you back at base with Daddy Jun.” Wonwoo snapped, “Pathetic. You kill a couple zombies and you think you're a trained assassin.”

“At least I'm not afraid of the bastards. You ran immediately. I would've stayed. Fought.” Minghao growled back.

“ _ Guys. Shut up _ .” Jihoon slid down the wall in agony.

“Let's just go slow. He's not doing good at all.” Minghao said quietly.

Wonwoo sighed. Jihoon held a hand out and Wonwoo pulled him up, “Can you walk?” 

Jihoon nodded and readjusted his bow, “Don't quit on me now boys, I'm good to rock and roll.”

“Ji--"

“I'm not wasting a trip.” Jihoon snapped, whipping around to spare Minghao a glance and then turning forward again. “We’re losing daylight, so let's get going.”

Minghao looked up at Wonwoo, who just followed Jihoon outside the hut. He glanced down at the body of the one zombie, still twitching and eyes staring at something. Minghao leaned over and sliced its throat as deep as he could with a blade. Some of the blood dripped from the blade to his hand and he quickly wiped it on his shirt along.

 

Jeonghan brought some extra food over to Jun and Chan. He admired how passionate Jun was about his job, but he knew Jun skipped the last two meals to make sure Chan didn't have a bad dream or anything. The only time he ever saw the boy leave Chan's side was to check on Minghao before he left, but that had to be at least two hours by then. Jeonghan laid the makeshift tray down by Jun’s side and waited for a response. When he got nothing, he turned his attention to the boy's hair.

“It's gotten long.” Jeonghan murmured, running his fingers through the ends of Jun’s hair. 

“So’s yours. Everyone's, really...” Jun mumbled. He was obviously distracted.

“I brought you something to eat… and for Channie, when he wakes up.”

Jun nodded. Jeonghan sighed. He didn't like being ignored.

“What's on your mind?”

“I feel responsible for Hao. Do you… think he's…”

“A better fighter than anyone here? Yes.” Jeonghan went behind him to rub his shoulders, “You need to trust him. He's low on stamina, but he's quick and smart. They'll even each other out out there and you need to stop acting like he's your kid. Chan's your kid.”

“He's better off de--...” Jun cut himself off, not wanting to finish the sentence. He felt Jeonghan stop massaging him for a split second before slowly continuing, “Nevermind. Th-That's horrible.”

“Channie is strong for a baby. He's so eager and willing. He’s better than some others around here.”

Jun nodded in agreement. Everyone kind of assumed Chan would stick it out for a long time, and constantly assured him that there would be no more deaths. 

“I'm going to check on Seokmin. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Jeonghan messed up his long hair before going to leave, but then quickly turned back around. 

“Have you talked to Gyu?”

Jun scoffed, “No.”

“Right. Well if you do, don't believe any stories he says.”

“What--”

“Love you Junnie, but I gotta go. Just remember that.” Jeonghan smiled weakly before going to see Seokmin. 

 

Mingyu busied himself with tasks from all around. He helped Joshua get the last of the wild foods before winter and repaired broken posts and walls with Vernon and Seungkwan. The two younger boys dared to mutter to each other how perky he was without Wonwoo practically having him on a leash, but didn't say anything to Mingyu. They didn't want to see the attitude change. Joshua, however, asked him about it.

“You seem a lot happier today.” He said nonchalantly, “Anything particularly good about the day?”

Mingyu shrugged, “I dunno, I see work that can be done. I like being productive. Being the lunch lady just loses its appeal after a while.” 

“You're not the lunch lady. You're a chef!” Joshua smiled.

“Okay, chef. But the feeling still remains. Wonwoo can't have certain foods, Jihoon can't have others, I have to worry about everyone's specifications and the most picky ones are the ones who would think twice about killing me.” Mingyu said lightheartedly, “I mean I got it down at this point, but I don't want to accidentally kill someone and have them haunt the shit out of me for eternity because I poisoned them.”

“We'd all forgive you. Even Jihoon and Wonwoo.”

“Hope so.”

Having Mingyu actually engage in conversation with Joshua was sort of a shock to the people who passed by. Joshua enjoyed it. He liked Mingyu and wanted him to be comfortable in his own surroundings. The slight change made Joshua feel like he could slowly become more independent. 

“Oh, Mingyu?”

“Hmm?”

Josh stood there for a second, not knowing how to word what he was going to say next, “I don't condone fighting… but just so you're aware, I think you could defend yourself against him and win.” Mingyu stayed quiet. Josh quickly added, “I don't mean that to sound bad or anything--"

“I know what you're saying. It's all good. I know I could, but I just couldn't, you know?” Mingyu said in almost a whisper. Josh nodded in understanding, but Mingyu knew for a fact that Josh never knew about them. Nobody did.

 

Seungcheol looked at the makeshift sundial. It was something Seungkwan made on his own free will that may not have been accurate, but gave them all a sense of how much time has gone since the start of their day. It had been a couple hours since breakfast which would mean it was longer since Jihoon, Wonwoo and Minghao had left. It was odd, but he told himself to give them another hour or so before trying to track them down. 

But they were lost. 

Jihoon was so distraught after having such a bad reaction to being near a zombie that he just started going in whatever direction he felt like. He was angry at himself for reacting and somehow decided to make himself suffer a little, but unfortunately he caused Wonwoo and Minghao to have the same fate. And Minghao was starting to get super jittery.

Minghao wasn't someone to get scared. He just wanted to go home and he was irritated. The faint smell of rotting corpse started to make his stomach churn like it did when the apocalypse first started. They've all gotten used to it, but it was also how Soonyoung presumably died: the smell mixed with breathing in dead skin from an infected zombie.

“Jihoon, if you don't turn into a fucking Labrador in three seconds and track ‘home’, I'm gonna shoot you so bad, you'll feel it in the afterlife.” Wonwoo growled. Jihoon felt himself laugh quietly when he heard how scared he was in his voice alone. 

“I'm fucking with you, I know exactly where I am.” Jihoon lied confidently.  

“I'm hungry.” Minghao mumbled, “We had to skip breakfast for this and it's getting dark. We didn’t even find any resources...” 

“I know. Hold on, fucking will you?” the shortest boy snapped and Minghao immediately backed off.

Jihoon suddenly put a hand to his face and wiped at something on his cheek the second he stepped under a tree. The other two stopped and looked up at the sky. It wasn't raining…

A dead body hung from the tree. Some crazy loons fresh catch was put up there to be safe from other scavengers, Jihoon assumed. He pointed upwards, Wonwoo and Minghao following. Without turning away from it, Wonwoo told the others, “We have to keep moving. Fast.”

They got back a few minutes after it got pitch black. The fire led them the last few miles. Wonwoo’s knees hit the ground as soon as the shitty gate closed behind him, unable to keep going. He was exhausted. Mingyu left Joshua mid-sentence when he rushed to pick him back up. Wonwoo immediately wrapped his arms around Mingyu’s neck and gripped his shoulders to pull himself up (Mingyu was actually the one that pulled him up, but Wonwoo wouldn't admit that.)

“Are you okay?” Mingyu whispered, knowing Wonwoo wouldn't want anyone else to overhear.

Wonwoo nodded. But he was lying. He was weak, hungry, and sleep deprived. He should have been back three hours ago. His body was used to it's schedule. He glanced over at Jihoon, sitting on the ground and eating leftovers that were probably cold by now. The bastard even put all the supplies they got today where everything was supposed to go. Minghao was visibly irritated with the way Jun checked him over time and time again to make sure the blood on his shirt wasn't his and that he was totally okay. 

“Do you want me to carry y--"

“No.” Wonwoo cut him off, “I can walk.”

No, he really couldn't. 

Five steps later and he was down, but Mingyu was right there to keep him on his feet, “Get off me, Mutt.” He growled when he noticed Seungcheol and Jeonghan watching. Mingyu, out of anger, abruptly did as he was told even though Wonwoo had relied on his support, sending him down on his hands and hip. The sound that came out of Wonwoo’s throat on impact made him almost feel bad.

“Leave him, Cheol.” Jeonghan mumbled, grabbing Seungcheol by the wrist only to be shaken off.

Seungcheol knelt down in front of him, “Look at me, Jeon.”

“Fuck off, I'm fine.”

“You're hungry. Your body is shutting down. Either let Mingyu help you or I'm going to do it myself, and I think your pride would hurt worse when I carry you bridal style to a bed.”

Mingyu snorted at the thought, but stopped when he saw Wonwoo look up at him. He saw his hand reach out towards him and Mingyu didn't hesitate to help him stand and hold Wonwoo’s arm around his own shoulders. With an arm around Wonwoo’s waist, he lead him to his usual bed.

Seungcheol returned to Jeonghan, “He's gonna kill himself."

“Yeah. But he's gonna kill himself acting tough. Real manly way to go.” Jeonghan shrugged, “Are we nightwatching?”

“You are with Jihoon, Hao and Jun. I needed to sub you in for Joshua since Joshua is getting a cold. I also traded beds with him so I'm in the tent now. But you and him should get along without me.” Seungcheol smiled. Jeonghan didn't.

“I see who your favorite is now.”

“My favorite is Seungkwan. He listens the best.”

Jeonghan pouted and whined but obeyed in the end.

 

Jihoon held his head in his hands as he contributed to night watch. His headache was horrendous, and everything spun when he looked up. Jeonghan kept rubbing his back and he wanted to shout at him to stop, but he was afraid of making his headache worse.

“What happened out there?” Jeonghan asked quietly.

“A zombie found us. He wasn't entirely inhuman yet because he kept singing a nursery rhyme. But he was fast. I guess… with time, they get slower? I don't know but, then another one found us when we reached that hut. You know, the one…” his voice cut off and he gripped his head tighter. Jeonghan just rubbed his back some more.

“Yeah. The greenish one, right?” Jeonghan whispered. 

Jihoon nodded, “That's when my head started to hurt. I didn't get bitten. I don't understand.” 

“I don't think you're infected. Don't worry.” Jeonghan went to get up, “I think we have some of those herbs still from that hippie place we raided. I can go look--"

“Please.” Jihoon mumbled.

Jeonghan left and came back, but paused when he started to think about the possibilities of why Jihoon was in so much pain. He could’ve gotten too close to an infected creature and he breathed in too much of the disease. In reality, if that were to happen, Minghao and Wonwoo would have been feeling the same way. Was Jihoon more sensitive to them than others? He didn’t know. Jeonghan stood there, knowing Jihoon could already detect him but not knowing what to do. Jihoon was the best hunter and losing him could be horrible. He was the only one with perfect aim. They would lose that skill…

He made up his mind.

Walking towards him, Jeonghan spoke, “Hey Katniss… is that what Joshua calls you?”

“Mm.”

“You think you could teach me how to use a bow?”

“‘f you want me to.” Jihoon mumbled. He did look paler, but that could be the moonlight. Jeonghan handed him the herbs, “Thanks.”

“What are angels for?” Jeonghan smiled softly.

“Yeah. You're an angel.” Jihoon mumbled, “Mind getting me a winter jacket? Tee shirts in October don't quite work out.”

“Sure.” Jeonghan nodded and got up again. He could at least make him comfortable for the time being.

Just in case anything happened.

 

Minghao’s nightmares started that night when he was supposed to help guard.

_ Three blind mice _ ….  _ Three blind mice…. See how they RUN!!-- _

He screamed and sat up immediately. He turned to see Jun, who looked scared to death, hands up in almost surrender. He looked everywhere, trying to get his surroundings. Did he fall asleep on night watch?

“Minghao?” Jun asked quietly.

“What… did I…?”

“You were tired so I let you sleep…” The tears that blurred his vision didn't go away. He blinked but he just kept crying and he didn't want to cry in front of Jun. Jun, however, was too intuitive. His hands were immediately on his face, rubbing his cheeks and wiping away his tears, “Hey, tell me what's going on.” Minghao shook his head and ripped Jun’s hands away from him. It surprised the other boy.

“I'm sorry.” Minghao immediately apologized and leaned his head back down on Jun’s lap. Jun slowly started to play with his hair to calm him down, “I don't want to do runs anymore.”

“Then tell Wonwoo you can't.”

“He won't let me. I'm too … good.”

“I'll tell Wonwoo I don't want you out there anymore.”

Minghao stayed quiet before whispering an “Okay.” in response. He closed his eyes but the visions kept coming back, so he stayed awake, “I almost died, Jun. I couldn't run fast enough…" He didn't like suddenly feeling scared. He was usually strong and fearless. These dreams were starting to ruin him.

“You're okay. I've looked you over. You'll never go out there again. And if you do, I'll be with you and I'll protect you with my life. Okay?” Minghao nodded against his legs, “Go back to sleep. I'm protecting you. I have a gun and the safety is off, right by my side here. If I see anything come near us, I'll shoot. I don't care how infected it is, I'll shoot.”

“Just don't shoot one of us.”

“Never. Now sleep.”

Minghao drifted off to sleep, fighting off the visions that plagued his mind.

 

“I’m sorry, Gyu.”

“You always are.”

Wonwoo placed his cigarette back in between his lips and waited Mingyu out. It wouldn't take long for him to accept his apology and come crawling back. That's what dogs did.

Especially way-too-loyal-for-their-own-good mutts like Kim Mingyu.

Mingyu fixed Wonwoo’s now-cold food and tried to make it a little more desirable, something he and Wonwoo both knew the latter didn't deserve. They both knew he deserved the most disgusting food left over, but Mingyu was, for lack of a better term, whipped. He did anything to help Wonwoo feel comfortable because as Seungcheol silently predicted, he always hoped for the old Wonwoo back: the Wonwoo who didn't smoke and smiled at everything, who cared more about Mingyu than Mingyu deemed necessary… before the apocalypse broke out.

Mingyu remembered the day they heard about it. It had to be about six months ago by now. They had chosen to spend a week in May at Seungkwan’s house in Jeju. His parents and sister went on vacation and he had decided to spend it with his friends instead. The house wasn't entirely big enough to handle thirteen boys, but they made sure not to leave a mess. Half of them slept on the floor, some on the couches and chairs, Seungkwan shared his bed with Vernon, and Jeonghan and Jun ended up in Seungkwan’s sisters room at some point during the week. The parents bedroom was off-limits, but they were sure his sister wouldn't even know.

They just hung out, went to the beach, and ate like pigs. The one day they actually turned the TV on and saw the news, the disease outbreak had just started. It was a disease that had been accidentally released in Gangnam that caused the victim to go slowly insane until it completely rotted the brain and it took full effect a couple days later. The boys initially thought they were safe, now in Jeju, but they didn't realize people that unknowingly contracted the disease still traveled back and forth. Then it dawned on them that they were on an island with no way of escaping. It traveled mostly through the air at first, in Gangnam, but then people started to go absolutely insane and biting and attacking others, spreading the disease to more areas of the country. 

Seungcheol presumed the role of leader right away and kept everyone calm. He made the decision to leave the town when the house Seungkwan once lived in was bombarded by a mix of raiders and infected alike. He decided to go more inland, near the woods, which he felt would be less populated. Luckily he was right, and the rest began to trust him. Soonyoung had been so lively. He helped a lot at the start. He helped build most of their base…

Mingyu dropped the knife he had in his hand at the thought of Soonyoung and let it fall to the ground onto a scrap of metal, causing Wonwoo to jump.

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” he shouted, “Don't scare me like that!” 

Mingyu ignored him and let his memories jump back to Wonwoo in the beginning. Even in the beginning, he was happier and gentle. Mingyu hated the way he changed so suddenly and he didn't know why at all. It was before Soonyoung’s death but after Seungcheol was in charge. He didn't know what happened to Wonwoo, and he hated it. 

Wonwoo took his hand in his and it was Mingyu’s turn to jump, “You're bleeding.” Wonwoo said quietly, turning Mingyu’s hand over in his to try to figure out where the bleeding came from. Mingyu didn't even realize he cut himself at all, let alone right in the middle of his palm. Wonwoo let go of him to step into the ‘room’ next door and get gauze. He came back and placed it between his teeth, taking Mingyu’s hand again and dumping some water from a ¾-empty water bottle to do is best to clean it. Mingyu winced as the water hit his palm. 

“Shh. It's not that bad.” Wonwoo said quietly, drying the wound with the bottom of his shirt and then wrapping the gauze around his hand, making sure Mingyu could still use his hand without the bandage getting in the way. The taller boy could only watch in surprise. Wonwoo… the boy who changed so suddenly, who called him Mutt and any other derogatory term possible, who just expected everything from him and gave nothing in return except for an ‘I'm sorry’ every so often… was taking care of him?

“I'm sorry for being such a shitty person.” Wonwoo mumbled, “I wish I could repay you somehow.”

“Thank you.” Mingyu whispered. Wonwoo offered a smile, “If you really want to repay me, you could cuddle with me tonight.” 

“Sounds like a win-win.” 

Mingyu smiled and handed Wonwoo the food. He patiently laid in bed, waiting for him to finish eating before coming to lay with him, but his patience ran out quickly.

“Wonwoo…” 

Wonwoo finished quickly and tossed the tray on the ground, “Fine, Princess.” He sighed, laying down next to Mingyu and wrapping his arms around him, burying his head in Mingyu’s warm chest to get as warm as possible. Mingyu only giggled in response, because it was much better than Mutt.

“So what were you thinking about?” Wonwoo asked softly, cuddling as close as he can.

“Just the past… all of us… Soonyoung…”

“To tell you the truth, I already forgot about him.” Wonwoo mumbled. Mingyu grew silent. “Being out there is scary, Gyu… I think I sprained my ankle." The silence was too much for Wonwoo, "I'm only going to ask you to do one thing from now on. One thing that you absolutely have to do… everything else is optional.”

“What is it?”

Wonwoo pressed his ear against Mingyu’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, “Stay alive. For me.” 

Mingyu held the smaller boy tighter and kissed the top of his head, “I promise.”


	3. "He's Better Off Dead."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three boys go out and only two come back.

Chan practically bounced off the walls when Jun and Seokmin both gave him the okay to walk again. He was told to calm down multiple times but he was too excited. It pissed everyone off to no end, even Joshua, who threatened to tie him to a tree if he was going to just skip around making a mess. Seungcheol watched the youngest try his best to get back into the swing of things but he spent too much time in bed to be up to date on everything. When he caught Jihoon and Jeonghan trying to sneak off to the forest, he suggested taking Chan with them.

“Fine, but if he doesn't come back, it was me. I shot him.” Jihoon said. Seungcheol rolled his eyes.

Jihoon would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous that Jeonghan had a natural ability to kill things. It made him feel less special in a way, but he and Jeonghan both knew that Jeonghan would only kill something if he absolutely had to. Chan was too giddy, and it became dangerous to let him hold anything that could be used as a weapon. He was too young, too immature at that moment to use anything. 

It sucked that that was how they'd remember him by.

They were going back to the camp when Chan announced he had to go to the bathroom and it just couldn't wait. Jihoon pointed to a tree and Jeonghan kept guard for him. When the two older boys noticed he was done and coming back, they started walking back, expecting Chan to jog to catch up.

“ _ JEONGHAN!! _ ” Chan screamed and Jeonghan whipped his head around to see the youngest, the baby, getting chased by one of those crazies. Then there were two, then three…

Jeonghan didn't even think when he ran towards him and heard Jihoon shooting arrows behind him, nailing one in the chest to knock it down for a while. Jeonghan saw the one directly behind Chan get closer and lash out, and the sudden shout Chan made was enough for Jeonghan to realize the damage was done.

It sent Jeonghan into a mode of complete hysteria. He pulled out his little dagger and just slaughtered the remaining two zombies, absolutely destroying the one that scratched Chan, finally jabbing the blade straight into it's skull. Then he fell to the ground, sobbing.

Chan was on his knees, staring straight forward and just acknowledging his fate. “If I just stayed back… if I didn't cause too much--"

“It wouldn't have mattered, Channie. It's all of our fates. Some are just put out of their misery quicker than others.” Jihoon said, putting his arrows back in the quiver, “Come on.”

“No...”

It was a hard call. Did they abandon him, kill him right then and there, or take him back and announce it to everyone?

“Don't be silly, Chan. You're coming.” Jeonghan had stopped crying and tried to help him to his feet.

“I'm not going to infect them. That's selfish. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I'd like to go back. Seriously. But it's just not right. I don't want to end up like Soonyoung did and die like that.”

“What are you saying?” Jeonghan asked slowly.

“I want to die sane, Jeonghan…” Chan looked down, unable to look either one of them in the eye.

Jihoon glanced at him, then the arrows. Jeonghan followed his gaze and he snapped, “No!” he shouted, “We aren't sure if you're even infected yet, Channie. Maybe you're immune. We’re taking you to Seokmin and Jun, and we will see what they think!”

Jihoon turned to him, “Don't drag this out. He's smart enough to know what has to be done. Don't be selfish. The kid’s better off dead anyways.” Jeonghan looked at him in shock, tears starting to flow once more. Jihoon kept his poker face, “It's his decision.”

Jeonghan went behind Chan and looked at the scratch on his back. He hated to admit it was already turning purple and disgusting. Chan felt like crying, “I'm sorry--"

“There's nothing to be sorry for.” Jeonghan said, surprisingly calm. He knelt down and hugged him from behind, “We all love you.”

All he wanted was for the baby to be comforted during his last few moments, but he heard growling and knew that Chan's death wasn't going to be as peaceful. 

Chan squeezed Jeonghan’s arms, “Go. Please.”

Jeonghan kissed his temple and cried as he hugged him one last time, only letting go when he heard the growls get closer and he knew there were way more than one. Jihoon walked over and placed a hand on Chan's shoulder before pulling Jeonghan up and making him leave the youngest behind with only a knife, to let him make the choice of taking his own life or letting the savage creatures waiting in the forest to do the job. They never heard a scream or a cry. They liked to believe his death was quick.

Seungcheol didn't expect only Jeonghan and Jihoon coming back, even after the threat. Jihoon went up to him after the sobbing mess that was Jeonghan went to Joshua for comfort, “He got attacked.”

Seungcheol slowly nodded. He noticed Jun, who was next to him seconds ago, kicked the gate nearly off it's shitty hinges in anger. He stayed facing the entrance, looking out with his hands in his hair, refusing to look at anyone. Seokmin made his way over to Jun carefully and then hugged him when Jun didn't shy away. The two of them were always there for Chan, even before the apocalypse.

  


_ Chan groaned when he heard familiar music get louder just as quickly as a jet black convertible came down the road to the front of the school. Jun promised he would be completely nonchalant and not draw a crowd when he offered to pick up the youngest from school, but apparently he and Chan had different ideas in mind. The youngest saw the way girls he assumed were out of his league to ooh and ahh at the hot guy driving the ridiculously expensive car. His eyes widened slightly when he saw Seokmin in the passenger's seat and silently cursed because  _ he  _ wanted to ride shotgun for once.  _

_ “Lee Chan!” Vernon called from the back seat, obviously too big to be riding in the back seat of the car but at the same time not caring, “Are you getting in or what?” _

_ Chan felt his face burn up as he slowly walked towards the car that attracted everyone's attention. He felt a hand grab at his arm and he turned to see one of the most gorgeous girls in school look at him with big brown eyes. _

_ “You're friends with those guys?” she asked, shocked. Yes, middle schooler Chan hung out with high schoolers. It wasn't like anyone his own age really liked him. _

_ “Uh. Yeah.” Chan said. _

_ “That's so cool!” _

_ “R-really?” Chan asked, then rolled his eyes when he heard the horn blare obnoxiously. “... I have to go. I'm sorry.”  _

_ “Oh. Yeah. Of course… well--” _

_ “Chan!!”  _

_ Chan's jaw clenched as he turned around and growled, “Coming!” when he turned back around, she was gone. He was going to strangle all of them. _

_ He slammed the door closed and squeezed himself in next to Vernon, as huffy as he could possibly be, “She's a whore anyway.” Jun said, immediately leaving the school grounds. _

_ “Yeah, seriously. She was only interested because you hang out with us.” Seokmin said, “You'll find a girl who likes you for you.” _

_ “That's the second girl I've missed out on because you can't wait three seconds.” _

_ “You miss out on a lot of girls, relax. It's not our fault." Jun laughed, “Besides how old are you? Twelve?” _

_ “Fourteen.” _

_ “Oh, well excuse me.” He laughed, “You're still a baby.” _

_ “Don't worry." Seokmin said, turning around to face him, “We’ll teach you all about girls.” _

_ Jun cleared his throat. _

_ “Jun will teach you all about girls.” _

  


“That's two.” Vernon mumbled during night watch with Seungkwan. 

“I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more.” Seungkwan sighed, “Everyone said he was better off dead. Being the youngest and all… They didn't want him enduring it.”

“That makes us the youngest now, do you think they'll say we’re better off dead?” Seungkwan didn't have an answer to that.

Vernon sighed and put his arm around Seungkwan. He wasn't sure who needed comfort more. His mind went in a million directions and could only imagine who was going to go next. It was a horrible thought, but it was inevitable. He spoke up again, “I mean, you're my best friend. I don't know if I could handle you--"

“Don't.” Seungkwan said quietly and Vernon shut up. He knew he shouldn't have brought it up, “Let's think about happy. What's your favorite ice cream?” 

Vernon just looked at him. Seungkwan offered a smile that wasn't quite real, but Vernon just answered, “Cookie dough.”

“That's a good one… hey, I think there's a convenience store not too far. When we move again, maybe we can just store hordes of ice cream outside in the cold weather and that'll be our food rations.” 

Vernon raised an eyebrow, but finally laughed, “Maybe, Seungkwan.”

“I know the island best. They need me around. You … What's your skill?” Seungkwan teased.

“Hey!” Vernon laughed again, “I'm the brains.”

Seungkwan scrunched up his nose thinking about it. Was he? He did contribute a lot of ideas that ended up working out… hell. Sure. Seungkwan nodded in agreement. 

“See? Now. Dogs or cats?” Vernon asked.

“...dogs…?” Seungkwan turned to him, almost looking for approval. Vernon just smiled at him brightly. 

Seokmin and Jun watched the two allow themselves to be happy in the distance. They let it be. Happiness was so rare.

“His leg must have slowed him down. I shouldn't have given him the okay.” Jun sighed, still thinking of Chan.

“Hey. I agreed… there's nothing to…” Seokmin stopped himself before he started to get emotional, “What do you think Seungkwan and Vernon are doing?”

“20 Questions, I don't know.” Jun mumbled. The more he talked about stupid stuff helped him ignore the fact that Chan was gone forever. He only agreed to do night watch was to attempt to clear his thoughts before going to bed. Chan dying only made him more protective of what he had left, especially Minghao. He remembered Jeonghan saying  _ He isn't your baby. Chan is. _ but now Chan was gone. Chan, everyone's baby, was gone.

Seokmin studied Jun’s behavior. He put a hand to his forehead, “You're burning up, Jun…”

“Don't worry about it, I'll be fine. It's almost November. It's common.” Jun mumbled, “I'll be right back.”

Jun went to Minghao. He was sleeping peacefully, just breathing calmly in and out. The action alone helped ease Jun’s mind. His nose and mouth twitched occasionally, making Jun believe he was dreaming, but he wasn't screaming, so it might have been a good dream. He was shivering, and Jun tried to put another blanket over top of him to help a little, but the boy was still freezing. He sighed; there was nothing he could do for him unless he just curled up next to him and transferred body heat between them, but he was on duty so he went back to Seokmin and sat down on the cold ground. 

“Do you think we can have a winter home? It's getting colder and colder…” Seokmin said, rubbing his hands together and breathing on them.

“No, but Kwannie probably knows of a mall we can raid. Maybe live in.” Jun yawned. He really didn't feel like talking, “Go ask him.”

Seokmin shrugged, “Too cold to move.” Jun could see that, “I'm not gonna survive December and January--"

“Shut up.”

Seokmin turned to him, slightly surprised. He didn't know if it was because he kept talking or because he brought up the fact he might not survive the weather, but he decided to just quickly apologize and stay quiet for the rest of the night watch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey guys :)  
> Please tell me if you like this story so far, I'm not quite sure where it's going right now but I'll do my best to keep it interesting and fast paced for you lovely readers.


	4. "Better Get A Move On, Church Boy."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group of eleven find a new shelter, Josh starts to reevaluate the plans and Wonwoo kind of has a mini breakdown.

Seokmin’s idea came to life when Seungcheol woke up with pale lips and numb fingers, even though he was pretty sure he slept with his hands inside Jeonghan’s super heavy winter jacket the whole night. Jeonghan still slept beside him, ears totally red and lips almost blue that Seungcheol felt the need to check his pulse before going about his day and letting the other sleep longer. He was still alive, but he just had to make sure.

“I want Seungkwan, Seokmin, Minghao, Mingyu and… Jeonghan when he wakes up to go raid the mall. And then the rest of us will meet you and we can figure stuff out.” Seungcheol announced, “No, you know what, fuck it. Sleeping Beauty stays with me, Jun goes instead.”

Mingyu glanced over at Wonwoo, almost looking for permission to go, but Wonwoo never made eye contact. He kept his eyes trained on Seungcheol.

“And strength in numbers isn't your forte, leader?” Wonwoo asked, cockily raising an eyebrow. Seungkwan hated to admit to himself that Wonwoo made more sense.

Seungcheol cocked his head to the side, “Are you challenging me?” he was used to Wonwoo talking shit behind his back, but to doubt him in front of everyone was another story.

Wonwoo shrugged innocently, “Are you that stupid?”

Seungcheol let out a laugh, not because Wonwoo was funny but because he was just that intolerable, “Can't waste time. People have to get warm clothes and figure out if the mall is even worth fixing up and others have to pack up and take down what we have here.” he explained, voice calm, giving Wonwoo the same, strong eye contact.

“Chan died because you let two inexperienced people go out with him.”

“Ex _cuse_ me?” Jihoon furrowed his brows. Joshua held his wrist in place when the smaller boy went to get a bow from behind him. Wonwoo was being a dick, but he didn't deserve an arrow through his throat like Jihoon thought he did. Wonwoo just ignored him.

“You suggest sending two people who can't handle guns, a kid who's never left the camp, a _nurse,_ and _Minghao_ to make the first trip?”

Joshua spoke up softly, “You know, Wonwoo…” he stopped when he caught Wonwoo’s glare, “Nevermind.” then he turned to Seungcheol, “Just sub out Seokmin.”

Seungcheol took a deep breath, “Fine. Wonwoo, Mingyu, Minghao, Jun and Kwan. Everyone happy?”

“Somewhat. Thank you.” Wonwoo said, no ounce of sincerity in his voice. Seungcheol clenched his jaw. At least now he didn't have to deal with him for a while.

Their weapons weren't very good, and they didn't have a lot of them. The first group to go out only took one of the two shotguns, a handgun and Minghao's knives (because in reality, Minghao didn't go anywhere without his knives), leaving Jihoon's bow, another shotgun and two handguns. Joshua and Seokmin packed up the lightweight things in the four backpacks they had, which left Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Hansol to deal with the awkward stuff that didn't fit into bags, like the blankets. They didn't have much, and in reality they _were_ going to a mall, but they didn't want to risk losing warmth along the way. The blankets folded awkwardly, but Jeonghan offered to carry all six of them, all varying sizes and quality with a backpack while Seungcheol manned the shotgun with a backpack, Joshua and Hansol a handgun each, Jihoon his bow, and Seokmin with the other two bags. Nobody was too bulky, and they left their ‘summer camp’ with nothing but the makeshift barriers and the ratty cots they found. It was too much to try to lug those, too.

“Is there a mattress store in the mall?” Seokmin asked.

“Don't expect so much, Seokmin.” Jihoon mumbled. They all paused in unison when they heard a gunshot from up ahead. Jeonghan yawned.

“I'm not in the _mood_ for zombies.” He whined, mid yawn.

“I’m not in the mood to deal with your laziness today, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol snapped. Jeonghan’s eyes widened in shock. Vernon laughed.

“You missed the drama this morning.” he whispered and Jeonghan kept quiet.

 

Minghao jumped to the side when Jun randomly fired his gun. He turned to him, eyes wide. Jun just kept walking like it was nothing. Minghao did see the outline of something now on the ground, but he thought Jun would at least _say_ something. He remembered when he told him ‘ _if I see anything, I'll shoot.’_ He wasn't kidding.

Mingyu and Seungkwan were silent as ever for once. They were too afraid to make any noise. Even though Seungkwan was used to going on little quests with Jihoon, he never went this far out. And Mingyu… He hadn't left base since it was built. He clung to Wonwoo like a lost kid.

“You're like a baby.” Wonwoo said quietly, so he didn't embarrass the other too much. He felt bad for the kid when he looked down at his hand and remembered that he was hurt. His fingers gripped the shotgun harder, suddenly feeling the urge to kill something to destroy the feeling of pity. But Mingyu straightened up and looked away from him then, and Wonwoo knew he was starting to really lose him. Six months of treating the other like shit, and he really deserved a kick in the balls right about now.

Wonwoo remembered them all before having a spot to call camp. He remembered how much freer he was and how much Mingyu made him think it was all going to be okay. He knew he changed for the worst, but he couldn't explain to anyone, especially Mingyu, that he changed because he was scared out of his mind ever since he saw that fucking zombie go straight for Mingyu’s shoulder. He remembered Mingyu stopped running as soon as Wonwoo fired, and how if Wonwoo fucking missed at that moment, Mingyu would have been _dead_ because the stupid idiot decided to _stop_. He remembered screaming “Run, you fucking bastard!” and grabbing his wrist before taking off at a full sprint. He never even told Mingyu that he was that close to death.

He was too scared. He was still scared, and he hated weakness. He hated feeling like he couldn't make it and that he couldn't save Mingyu. No matter how many apologies he made, he knew he could never make it up to the other unless he came clean, said that he's just been terrified and on the verge of a mental breakdown for months, but there was no way in hell that was happening.

“Wonwoo?” Seungkwan asked quietly, giving him a weird look. Wonwoo didn't realize he was crying until he looked down at the other boy and noticed tears blocking his vision. He was disgusted with himself.

Boys don't cry. Boys in apocalypses fighting for their lives, don't cry. Mingyu reached over to wipe his tears away for him but Wonwoo just started walking quicker, avoiding them all. He lost their respect, and now he had to earn it back. He almost smiled when he heard some rambling in the distance. He was able to gain his respect back then by killing a bunch of zombies and saving their lives.

 

At some point, Seungcheol spotted the first group and was forced to shout in order for them to not shoot at them. He didn't really care if it lured zombies because they had enough weapons. Hansol jogged up to walk with Seungkwan when they were close enough and they walked as a group the rest of the way. Once they reached roads, they knew they were in for a lot more company. Almost immediately Jihoon, now in front, noticed early stage zombies eating the way-past-gone zombies. He rolled his eyes. He fucking hated early stagers. Those were the ones who were still human like, and some could trick you if you weren't careful. Joshua had mentioned that they should add yet another rule: plan to shoot anyone you don't recognize. Seungcheol and Wonwoo actually agreed on tiptoeing around as to not draw too much attention. Seungkwan was the only one allowed to whisper, and it was for directions.

The mall parking lot was absolutely littered with zombies, but lucky for them, most of them were truly slow and couldn't get out of their own way. They were, figuratively and literally, on their last legs. Hansol was the one who realized the sort of ‘lifespan’ of a zombie, and according to his logic they only had a few days left before they just died off on their own due to no food. If they did start eating each other, that could work in their favor as well. As long as they could sneak into the building and barricade it completely, they should be fine. Seungcheol glanced at who had guns and who didn't and formed an order. Non weaponed people went in the middle while weapon-holders took the outside. It worked for a while until they noticed a couple early stagers making their way towards them. Then, they broke out in a run towards the entrance. From the outside they didn't see any zombies inside the mall, so that was a plus.

Upon entering, Wonwoo and Jun barricaded the door while Mingyu and Joshua took off in a sprint to barricade any other doors leading to the outside, ready to kill any wanderers they saw along the way. Seungcheol and Jeonghan went the opposite way of those two to do the same in a quicker amount of time. The rest just stayed put for the time being.

“That actually worked out pretty well.” Jun said, admiring their barricading skills. Wonwoo had to agree.

“Luckily the new zombies aren't smart enough to break it down.”

The four others came back a few minutes later, assuring there was absolutely no way anybody could get in. Along they way, they hadn't seen any zombies on the bottom floor, so the entire group head over to the second floor.

“How the hell is this place still standing?” Jeonghan asked himself out loud. It was weird that the mall had been in almost pristine condition compared to everything else. The only issue would have been how dirty and smelly it was because everyone sort of abandoned the place the second the outbreak happened. Dead bodies littered the floor, but they were long dead. Minghao slit each one's throat just to be sure, stabbing a few skulls for dramatic effect. The escalator was broken and the food was absolutely done for, but some drinks survived and the rooftop provided a great view of where they could sneak off to for food. The place was ransacked, yet totally usable.

Seungcheol sat down in a couch that's only bad quality was a tear in the seat. Jeonghan and Josh sat next to him and the others found their ways to the other chairs and the floor. Seungcheol caught his breath before talking, “I say get rid of the bodies… throw them off the roof or something, and go from there. Maybe not the roof but just out of here so the zombies have less incentive to make their way in. It's a shock they haven't come in already.”

Jun nodded, “Okay. So, who are you thinking? Yourself, Wonwoo, Mingyu, me, and Josh?”

Seungcheol glanced at Wonwoo, who looked down as soon as they made eye contact, “Yeah, I guess. That'll work.”

“Han, I think you and Seokmin should take the rest to get warmer clothes.” Josh said, handing his gun over. Jeonghan looked up at him questioningly, “Just in case you see one.”

Minghao was about to protest and say he could go dump bodies too, but he sneezed instead. Jun immediately turned to him in surprise and concern. Minghao just shook his head and said it was nothing. He knew he needed to get warm as soon as possible. The mall offered slight insulation, but Minghao barely had a jacket and it was nearly November. A boy of his size shouldn't have been able to survive for this long under these weather conditions.

“I think I saw an Under Armour.” Minghao said quietly, standing up, “I wanna go there first.”

Jeonghan nodded and put an arm around his thinner waist. He knew the kid could barely stand, but wouldn't admit it. Jihoon had been feeling slightly weak and his headaches started to come back, but he brushed it off and followed Jeonghan and Minghao. Seokmin helped Seungkwan and Hansol both to their feet on the floor to go along.

Shopping--well, raiding a shopping mall--gave Minghao a domestic feeling. His mind started to wander.

 

_“Junhui. Look.” 15 year old Minghao called out in Chinese. 16 year old Jun turned around and immediately smiled at the younger boy sporting a bedazzled hello kitty snapback, complete with a pink sparkly bow in the middle, “I'm thinking Soonyoung.”_

_Jun already had his phone out, taking pictures of Minghao in the cute hat. Minghao posed in every single one, doing a mixture of peace signs and poking at his blown-out cheeks, “I'm thinking you're adorable. But we gotta focus on Jeonghan.”_

_Minghao laughed and put the hat back, “Jeonghan is hard to pick things out for. I mean it's almost his birthday and what do we even get him?”_

_“Does he like shoes?”_

_“Well, he needs to wear them either way.”_

_“Funny kid.” Jun looked over at the other boy with his eyes as he picked through the clearance rack, “I love him but I'm not buying him anything over $30.”_

_Minghao sighed, going over to the shoes. What shoes did Jeonghan even wear? He was more of a lounger, and never did exercise unless Soonyoung forced him to keep him company. He knew Jeonghan usually went out in boots or something similar, but Minghao didn't like the guy that much. Maybe if he had some nice running shoes he would go running with Soonyoung next. Highly unlikely, but the nice white running shoes were snazzy in itself._

_Jun came over with three pairs of jeans on his forearm and holding out two shirts. One was pastel and the other camo, “Who even is Jeonghan? A flower boy or a tough guy?”_

_“Pastels. All the way.” Minghao focused on the jeans, “We seem to be buying him a cute little outfit, aren't we? But isn't it weird for a man to buy another man jeans? Don't tell me you know his jean size…”_

_“These are for me. I got carried away… three for like fifty in total. Really nice quality, too. Gotta love the clearance section.”_

_Three for fifty…_

_Three…_

_Three... blind... mice…_

 

Minghao flinched when Seokmin touched his shoulder and Seokmin immediately took his hand back, “You're sweating like crazy…”

“I'm fine. Just lost in thought.” Minghao mumbled, suddenly feeling weird speaking in Korean. His memory seemed so real until he looked down and realized he was actually picking out winter clothes for himself, not running shoes for Jeonghan.

“We all get like that…” Seokmin said, “You scared me though. Are you sure you don't want to talk?”

“Maybe later… thanks, Min.”

Seokmin nodded and returned to the clothes. Minghao finally found something warm enough yet durable to keep him warm through the winter. The base was black with realtree sleeves and hood, making him believe it was meant for hunting. Hunters were out in the cold all the time, so it had to be good. He'd be hunting zombies in it. Even if it was just the design, it seemed durable enough. He turned to Jeonghan.

“You know what would be really cool? If this mall had a shower.”

Jeonghan nodded once, not really paying attention. Jihoon just scoffed, “Not having an apocalypse would be nicer.”

Seungkwan had changed his entire outfit to warm sweatpants and fleece zip up. His old clothes were absolutely disgusting, but that had been the norm for the last two months. It was amazing to have the feel of clean clothes again, even if they were stolen and still went over his dirty body. He looked at himself in the mirror for the first time in almost seven months and realized how skinny he had gotten. He had known everyone got thinner but even he, with a somewhat thicker natural body type, was almost as skinny as Jeonghan. Little food and a lot of labor did a lot to the body.

“Can we hit up other stores?” Hansol asked, checking out a jacket but then putting it back.

“It's not a fashion show, Hansol. Besides we got the whole mall. This is your entire closet right now.” Seokmin said, changing out his shirt for a long sleeve and hoodie.

Jeonghan’s sudden scream made them all jump and turn to him. A bloody, gorey body that was missing everything below the waist came crawling towards him. Slowly, each arm extending out and dragging itself over to Jeonghan again. Jeonghan suddenly remembered he did have a gun and shot twice at it's head until it lay on the ground unmoving. Nobody spoke a word, and Jeonghan himself broke the silence, “Bastard grabbed my ankle.”

“Nice to know the things are in here too… thought we were safe.” Seungkwan muttered.

“You think the others are okay with the um, bodies? They could come back to life, don't you think?” Hansol asked.

 

“ _Ah! Fucker!_ ” Seungcheol shouted out, dropping the body he was dragging by it's arms when he felt the thing jerk out of his hands. He slammed it's head into the ground with the butt of the shotgun, “I forgot they were fucking zombies. Minghao missed this one when he went around stabbing skulls.”

Wonwoo blankly turned to face the others, “You chose him to be your leader for the zombie apocalypse. Just remember that.”

Mingyu cracked a nervous smile before returning to dumping a body out the second story window. Josh rolled his eyes and played with Jun’s gun while Jun did the work of two. When Mingyu saw that he knew Wonwoo was going to snap, so he kept his head down and stayed quiet as he plunged a knife into a corpse's throat when it started to twitch before dumping it out the window. And Mingyu was right.

"Better get a move on, Church Boy.”

“This is stupid. Just burn the bodies. You're relying on the creatures down below to eat these things and what happens when we run out of fodder to keep them at bay? Literally, they're going to start to associate us with food.”

“They're not that smart, Josh.” Jun butted in, still doing as he was told.

“Think about it. When they run out of food, where are they gonna go? Here. They haven't touched this area in months. And now suddenly they're getting a good food source from it.”

Wonwoo snapped then. He grabbed Josh by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the window next to the one that was already open, “I could feed _you_ to the damn things. See how real that precious God of yours is when you're faced a hundred to one.”

“Hey, Jeon!” Seungcheol shouted, annoyed, “Can you calm the fuck down for once?”

Josh opened his mouth to speak, then took a deep breath, “You need to calm down, Wonwoo.” He said calmly. Too calm for someone in his position. But Wonwoo needed to feel tougher again. He needed to make up for crying on the way to the mall. But this was Josh...

 

_“You need to caaaalm down, Wonwoo!” Joshua laughed, holding the other boy up as he stumbled on himself, giggling every time he tripped and felt his body go down again before Joshua picked him back up._

_“I love you, Joshua Hong.” Wonwoo cupped the other boys face in both hands and touched noses. Josh had to guide his hands away._

_“You're drunk.” Josh smiled, totally amused with how the younger boy acted when he was drunk. No one thought Soonyoung’s 18th was going to be as eventful as it was. When Wonwoo started grinding his ass up against an even drunker Mingyu’s crotch, Josh figured it was time to wrap things up. He shifted to holding Wonwoo up by putting his arm around his waist and throwing Wonwoo’s arm around his own shoulders for balance, “We got a long walk home and I don't want you to throw up at all. Okay?”_

_Wonwoo giggled, “Yes, Father Joshua. Your wish is my comm--” hiccup, “--and.”_

_“Oh my…” Josh sighed to himself again, “I can't wait to get you into bed.” He totally forgot where the other boy’s house was, but he figured he'd just remember it when he saw it under the streetlight._

_“Oh, yeah?” Wonwoo smirked and stumbled again, “I do have condoms in my dresser drawer.”_

_“Ha!” Josh laughed out loud, “Not what I meant, but okay.”_

_“Me and you would be hot.”_

_“You're being completely irrational. I'm hoping it's the alcohol.” Josh laughed again._

 

“You're being completely irrational.” Josh said now, much calmer. Even when he had a loaded gun and could shoot Wonwoo right in the head, he chose peace.

Wonwoo took a deep breath and released his grip. He smoothed out the front of Josh's shirt.

“Apology accepted.” Josh said, “Do you guys really need a fifth man?”

“Nah there's only 15 left.” Seungcheol said. “Get a warm set of clothes and change.”

Wonwoo hated himself both for snapping and for not going through with it when he did. He took it out on the next body he flung out the window. Seungcheol fought the urge to let him be miserable and went over to him when the last corpse was gone.

“What's your deal? Just breathe.”

“They don't respect--...” Wonwoo stopped himself. He wasn't going to pour all his emotions out on the table.

“They're not going to unless you give them a reason to. And that reason isn't threatening to throw them out a window.” Seungcheol said with a sigh, “Your body is freezing. Come on. Mingyu, shut the window." Seungcheol wrapped his arms around Wonwoo and led him back downstairs to the winter clothes.

Meanwhile Hansol found an electronic store and did what he could to salvage things. He found walkie talkies and a radio and kept himself and Seungkwan busy trying to fix them. Jihoon started to get irritated with all the static and went to find something else to do for the time being. He just ended up sitting outside the store with Minghao, who definitely needed to sit down again. Jihoon caught a glimpse of someone in his peripheral vision and immediately got his bow ready.

“Just me. Calm down.” Josh put his hands up immediately. Jihoon lowered the bow, “There's a ton of drinks and the food isn't total shit… Did you guys turn the Under Armour upside down?”

“There's not much really there anymore. I guess people came through here before but there's enough.” Jihoon said, setting his bow down on the ground.

The rest of the boys from Josh's group came shortly after. Jun immediately went to Minghao’s side and checked his forehead. He mumbled here and there about how he was burning up and looking pale, but Jihoon paid no attention. He didn't care. Josh and Seungcheol showed concern, but Wonwoo ventured to a different clothing store and Mingyu followed like a puppy. A large rumble attracted everyone's attention.

“What was that?” Seungkwan called out nervously.

“Rain. Maybe.” Josh looked up at the glass panels in the ceiling, somehow still intact and unscathed. The clouds were black. More rumbling made the inside of the mall shake a little, “Big storm. Maybe it'll clear the zombies out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I start college tomorrow. Don't grow up, kids. It's scary and it sucks, but writing stories like this shall keep me slightly sane.  
> But if I randomly ditch this for long periods of time until Christmas time... thats why.


	5. "He's Cute When He's Crazy."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visitors make a small cameo, Jeonghan is going insane, Seungkwan is bad at split second decisions, and Wonwoo is soft for a good three seconds.

The storm didn't stop when it started. Every so often, Seungcheol looked up through a skylight in the ceiling and saw nothing but large raindrops pounding mercilessly against the glass. Staying in the mall was super beneficial, but even as hopeful as Joshua and Seokmin liked to seem, even they knew it wouldn't last so they always did some runs around the mall and packed a few small bags of extra jackets, coats, first aid supplies, lighters, and anything else that could be of use at all times. They kept everything lightweight and accessible, knowing time was running out.

Jeonghan smelled alcohol and sweat when he turned the corner and started to walk towards the entrance. He didn't think anything could go wrong when he offered to go and check the doors to see if the zombies had ended up leaving due to the storm, but when he heard voices, he ducked back behind the corner and listened intently.

“Someone's obviously been here, man. I don't know if we should--"

“We’re tougher, we’re stronger, and there's nobody here anyway.” another voice cut the first one off, “Everyone's gone. Don't be a pussy.”

Jeonghan covered his mouth to make sure he wasn't breathing too loud. He felt his heart beat start to pound in his chest when he heard footsteps inching closer and his own feet wouldn't move.

“You smell something?” The first voice asked. All Jeonghan could smell was the sweat and alcohol off of these strangers. Thunder rumbled and made the whole mall shake, “Smells like… lavender. Sweet.”

“Hey Jeonghan, what's taking you so long?” Hansol called from the second floor.  Fucking Hansol. Jeonghan slowly pulled out his gun, knowing this would get ugly, “Jeonghan?” Hansol called again. Then he was in sight. Jeonghan flinched when he heard a gunshot go off. Hansol was running back now. He turned and ran right back to the group to probably warn them. Jeonghan wasn't sure if he was hurt, but he was able to run so that must have been good enough. That just left Jeonghan by himself.

But Jeonghan knew it was a death wish to attempt to fight these guys without back up. He quickly turned and sprinted towards the group. He wasn't a runner by any means, but he had no other choice. Gunshots echoed all around him and he didn't know what to do except change direction constantly. The second he went to turn the corner and escape, he felt someone grip his hair and yank him backwards. His gun fell to the floor.

“So you're Jeonghan?” the man that held him asked. Jeonghan felt brave enough to stay quiet, but when he felt the man tug his hair, he nodded quickly. The grip loosened.

“Nice gun. Were you sent to kill us? What did you hear?” The other man questioned.

“What? I didn’t hear anything.” Jeonghan said. He surprised himself with how calm he sounded.

“I don't believe him.” The one that held his hair mumbled.

“If you’re not gonna believe me, why ask?” Jeonghan snapped. The man put his gun against Jeonghan’s temple and Jeonghan just chuckled, “You’re gonna shoot me now?”

Did it even matter?

“Take us to the others.” the other man growled. He heard the safety click off.

Jeonghan hesitated. He looked around for a plan, but when the hand in his hair tugged harsher and the gun went down to the middle of his back, he knew he didn't have the brainpower to think that quickly. He nodded slowly and started walking in a different direction of where the rest were.

“I could be wrong… cause they move around a lot.” Jeonghan said, “But they're definitely on the first floor.”

“Don't buy time.” the gun jabbed at his spine and Jeonghan winced, “Where'd your little friend go?”

“Oh him? Oh, I'm not sure…” he saw something move out of the corner of his eye on the second floor and looked up with his eyes only. He saw Seungcheol with the rifle rested on the railing, one eye closed and the other through the scope. Jeonghan stopped.

“Keep a move on!”

Jeonghan smiled, “You guys are so screwed.”

“What do you mean by that?” the one man asked, then turned to the other, “What does he mean by that?” Jeonghan laughed, almost psychotic, when the other man just shrugged, looking just as terrified as the one holding a gun to his back. The second man put a knife to Jeonghan’s throat out of fear.

 _Both eyes open, Seungcheol_ , Seungcheol reminded himself. He saw Jihoon aim the arrow at the one that had a knife to Jeonghan’s throat.

“Three.” Jihoon whispered, “Two.”

On one, they both fired at the two men. Jihoon got a headshot. Seungcheol’s bullet went straight into the man's shoulder, making him drop his gun and shout out. He mentally cursed himself for flinching at his own shot, unable to actually look long enough to see where he was shooting. Jeonghan acted fast to pick it up and aim it at him. He missed the first two shots on purpose, firing directly to the left and right of the man, “You two were bad raiders.” Jeonghan said almost pitifully. Then he placed the tip of the gun right against the man’s forehead and turned away before pulling the trigger. He brushed the hair out of his face before looking up at Seungcheol and Jihoon, “Good teamwork, boys.”

“Jeonghan ain’t no pretty boy angel anymore, is he?” Wonwoo laughed.

Out of both anger and being caught up in the moment, Jeonghan fired at Wonwoo, close enough to scare him but not directly at him. The younger boy ducked, “Are you out of your _fucking mind!?_ ”

“He's cute when he's crazy.” Seungcheol still had the courage to tease him, smiling brightly, “Stop wasting bullets and come eat. And thank Hansol.”

 

Hansol was too busy laughing about something stupid with Seungkwan that Jeonghan felt he would interrupt something. He waited to thank the boy then, and found himself sitting next to Joshua. The boy was sitting on the floor cross legged, tray in his lap while he leaned over and started writing a checklist down on a piece of paper on the floor.

“Whatcha doin?”

“Planning.”

Jeonghan slowly nodded. Josh was a man of few words when he was in the zone. He tried again, asking what he was planning, but he just got an “everything” in response. Jeonghan noticed how his hands twitched slightly and how he just looked completely stressed out. Maybe he knew something that he just wasn't telling anybody. Jun plopped down next to Jeonghan, making him jump.

“You didn't tell me you almost died.” Jun looked offended.

“Some raiders. Bastard grabbed me by the hair. He wasn't gonna shoot me.” Jeonghan shrugged.

“I heard you were crying like a little girl.” Jun smirked. Jeonghan coughed.

“Crying? I was having fun!” He laughed, “People should learn not to fuck with pretty boys.”

“I heard Wonwoo learned.”

Wonwoo scoffed at the conversation when it started to jab at him, right next to him. Jeonghan was being waited on because he was too clumsy to bring someone on his journey and almost died because of it, “I was never scared. Jeonghan is just psychotic.”

Jeonghan shrugged, “Most likely at this point.”

Jun shoved his shoulder, “So what happened. Like, I need details.”

Jeonghan ignored how obviously obsessed Jun was with the gorey details. It was almost as if the thought of violence turned him on in some sick way. That, or he was just bored and needed to feel some excitement. He explained the story as exaggerated as he could that even Joshua, who barely paid attention, snorted. He earned a glare from Jeonghan (which he didn't care enough to glance up at) before having to continue to listen to Jeonghan’s drawn out, gore filled story to keep Jun interested.

 

_“PLEASE change the channel.” Seungcheol whined. Josh and Jun were glued to all the gore and blood on the tv screen. He and Jeonghan were not._

_For some god awful reason, five of them decided to have a horror movie marathon to celebrate Halloween, refusing to let anyone younger than Jihoon to come along since they were worried the movies would be too much. Soonyoung and Wonwoo passed, knowing horror wasn't their forte to begin with. Josh and Jun absolutely loved horror movies, while Jeonghan, Seungcheol and Jihoon didn't quite mind them. Jihoon was bored and played games on his phone, ignoring the screams and jumpscares and blood, while Jeonghan and Seungcheol gripped each other tightly._

_“What movie even is this?” Jeonghan whimpered. He could handle jumpscares and horror in general, but graphic violence made him queasy._

_“Ichi the Killer.” Jun said almost proudly._

_“They’re pulling off his cheeks…” Seungcheol whispered in disbelief, then turned his head at the skin being ripped off the man’s face._

_“This shit is so fucking boring. Why don’t you put some real fucked up shit on instead of this cartoon.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, then turned to Seungcheol and Jeonghan, “Shit, you guys really aren’t fans, are you?”_

_“I can’t sleep tonight.” Seungcheol mumbled._

_“If you’re gonna be a baby, just… make us popcorn or something.” Josh said, dismissing them. It was obvious he was getting annoyed with how freaked out the two boys on the couch were. Jeonghan didn’t have to be told twice. He darted for the kitchen and Seungcheol lazily followed him._

_Jeonghan turned to him, still terrified from the movie, “Why did we agree to come? I can’t sleep tonight either!” he whispered harshly, “Why the hell are they torturing us!?”_

_“Jun likes gore. Josh was raised in an area where people get turned on by almost having heart attacks. They feed off of this shit.”_

_“I swear to God, those two would be in heaven if the Walking Dead happened.” Jeonghan raided the cabinets, trying to find a large bag of popcorn, but Josh’s family only had the stupid mini packs--less carbs or some shit. He grabbed a handful of bags and dumped them all on the counter, “Five boys equals five packages, right?”_

_Seungcheol shrugged, “If the Walking Dead was real, I’d want both of them on the frontline. And Jihoon, because nothing phases him, obviously.”_

_“_ Popcorn!” _Jihoon had called out._

 _“And he's a moody bastard, isn't he?” Jeonghan mumbled, shoving two of the mini bags in the microwave to start out, “He'd_ _definitely survive.”_

 

“Dang it.” Seungkwan whined. He turned to Hansol, “The smell is making my head hurt…”

Hansol shrugged, “I don't smell anything.” He had been working on stuff in the electronics department ever since they got to the mall and he brought Seungkwan along for company. Seungkwan had started to get fidgety out of nowhere, so Hansol simply handed over the gun he brought with him and nudged the other boy with it, “Go check out the storage room.”

“You're not coming?” Seungkwan asked nervously.

“Gun’s fully loaded.” Hansol wasn't paying attention. He almost had the first walkie talkie done. The gun felt heavy in Seungkwan’s hands and he didn't really know how to hold it. He slowly stood up and inched his way over to the storage room behind everything.

Growling and gurgling noises came from the other side of the door. Seungkwan refused to open the door, and pressed his ear against it instead. It sounded like something was definitely eating in there, but he didn't really want to know what was eating what. Whatever it was, it was _rotting_. Seungkwan felt his stomach lurch and he felt like he was going to throw up right then and there. Before he could walk away he noticed that the noises stopped. He pressed his ear up against the door again, listening intently.

Ragged breaths. Something was sniffing him out from the other side of the door. It grunted and snorted. Then it started to scratch viciously and rapidly from the other side and Seungkwan jumped back. He felt like running back to Hansol but his feet were glued to the spot. Besides, he had a gun…

He took a deep breath and fought the urge to cough afterwards. Then he banged on the door, luckily scaring the creature away from the door to give him enough time to open it wide. He almost ditched his plan altogether when he _saw it_.

It had a torso, a head, and four limbs, just like a human, but it crouched down almost primitive. It snarled and hissed but didn't move from the back corner. Seungkwan quickly turned the safety off and aimed it at the creature. God, it smelled awful. Seungkwan hesitated for a split second, and that's when it attacked.

It charged at him on all fours and lunged at his throat. Seungkwan immediately fired the gun, shooting it in the chest and sending it flying backwards. He shot it two more times to make sure it was dead, and then stumbled to the ground trying to catch his breath. It's guts were splattered absolutely everywhere. Blood seeped from the middle of its chest and Seungkwan really felt nauseous.

“Kwannie?” Hansol called, “Um… you okay?”

“... yeah.” Seungkwan breathed out, “I’m fine, I’m just… it’s so gross.”

Hansol made his way towards the storage room and immediately put his jacket over his nose, “Don't breathe this in!” he said, muffled, and Seungkwan immediately covered his mouth and nose, using his hand as a facemask, “You can turn from this stuff alone. Come on, let's just leave it.” He pulled Seungkwan up and away before shutting the door behind them both.

Letting Hansol lead him by the wrist, Seungkwan started to worry, “Could I really turn by just breathing it in?”

Hansol paused, “Well it was originally airborne.”

“... So I could be a gonner now? I could already be dead, basically?”

Hansol shook his head, “No of course not! You'll be fine. I think it's bad if you really breathe it in for a long amount of time… we just won't mention it either, sound good?” Seungkwan nodded slowly. Hansol truly hoped his theory was true.

 

Mingyu wandered around the mall with Minghao for most of the night. He saw an old Valentine's Day advertisement in the window of one of the second floor stores. He sighed. Minghao looked at him questioningly.

“I'm kind of jealous of what Jeonghan and Seungcheol had.” He said quietly.

Minghao laughed, “Jealous? Of that shitfest?”

“I mean… well… yeah. I want that.”

Seungcheol and Jeonghan were, in fact, a shitfest. Ever since the two met, they were an absolute mess. Some times, they were in love, happy, and almost blinded by everything else except each other. Other times, they hated each other and would fight in front of everyone, not caring who listened in, and a fight would usually end in someone storming off and declaring they were _done_ , leaving everyone involved to feel awkward around both of them. One night Jeonghan had seemed a little too friendly with Josh for Seungcheol’s liking, and since he was already a little drunk, he ended up threatening to absolutely _break_ Josh. It took an hour of Josh just saying, “I'm _straight_ , you psychopath!” for him to finally believe him. The main problem in Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s relationship was the lack of trust: Jeonghan was too naturally flirty, even when he didn't mean to be, and both of Seungcheol’s exes cheated on him. Neither one of them actually hit one another, but something was almost always broken by the end of a fight.

It took them two years and Jihoon threatening to kill himself if they had an argument around him _one more time_ to realize the relationship wasn’t worth it. Neither one of them got into a new relationship after their official and last break up, and they learned to get along as friends after they took some time to just be away from one another. They both loved each other, but neither one knew how to make it work.

Mingyu wasn't jealous of the fights and untrusting relationship, but just the fact that they were open about it and they weren't ashamed to admit it… that's what he was jealous of.

“You're into weird shit, Gyu.” Minghao rolled his eyes, walking away, “You should want something that can last for more than a couple weeks at a time. Unless you're one of those guys, I don't know.”

Mingyu caught up with him, “I'm not, I just… I just… I love love. Crave affection. And I don't really have… anything.”

Minghao shrugged, “Neither do I, if it makes you feel any better.”

It really didn't. Because Minghao didn't get it. Mingyu wished he could just come clean and say ‘my boyfriend is in the closet and it kind of sucks because he tries to hide his homosexuality by being a douche bag to me’, but that wouldn’t work out too well.

“Hey, Mutt!”

Speak of the devil.

“I've been looking for you.” why was Wonwoo’s voice always so cold?

“Sorry.” Mingyu said quietly, “What’s up?”

“I need to talk to you.” Wonwoo’s eyes flicked over towards Minghao, “ _Alone_.”

Minghao looked Wonwoo up and down and waited for him to make his next move. When he didn’t do anything, Minghao simply said, “Sounds good to me. Go talk alone.”

“Get out of here, brat.”

Minghao glanced over at Mingyu, who suddenly decided that the tiles on the floor were much more interesting than the conversation going on, “Fine. I’ll see you around, Gyu.” He patted the taller boy on the shoulder and glared at Wonwoo as he walked back to the group.

Mingyu picked his head up slightly, “What's wrong?” he asked. He definitely pissed Wonwoo off somehow.

Instead of yelling or being his usual self, Wonwoo led him away from the edge and brought him into a store that looked as though it used to be a jewelry store. He wanted privacy. “You.” He said softly. Mingyu sensed a hint of concern in his voice, “I don't like you going off without me.”

“I'm a big boy, Wonwoo. I can handle myself.” Mingyu mumbled.

“No, you can't. You're prone to disaster. I want you near me at all times, but for the times where you can't be, I want you with the majority of the group. Not just Minghao. He's useless.”

“Technically, I only have to stay alive. Everything else you ask of me is optional. Remember?”

Wonwoo knew that would blow up in his face. He sighed, “You _won't_ stay alive if you keep sneaking off. Do I make myself clear?”

Mingyu glanced down at the floor again, “Yeah. No wandering.”

“Good. Now kiss me.” Wonwoo said quietly, “Before I change my mind.”

Mingyu smiled brightly and kissed him just the way Wonwoo liked.

 

_“No lips!” Wonwoo whined, turning his head away when Mingyu leaned in, “Your lips are chapped."_

_Mingyu laughed, “Then where are my chapped lips allowed?”_

_“Forehead.” Wonwoo pouted. He smiled when Mingyu kissed him there._

 

Wonwoo let himself smile when Mingyu kissed him for the first time in ages. He let his walls crumble for a split second and allow himself to believe it would all be okay in the end. That they would be okay. It made Mingyu take advantage of the situation and lean down to kiss his cheek, “Missed you. So much.”

Wonwoo immediately stopped smiling and opened his eyes, confused, “I’m right here?”

“No, I mean I missed the old you.” By the way Wonwoo went silent and seemed to have stopped breathing all together, Mingyu knew he shouldn’t have said that.

Wonwoo took a deep breath and forced himself to look Mingyu in the eyes. The stupid idiot Mingyu that somehow still loved him, “He’s long gone, Gyu. Things are different now.” he started to walk away. His walls were up once again.

“Well--do you think…” Mingyu tried to stop him, but Wonwoo just ignored him and shouted back.

“Go back to the group.”

“Hey, I’m talking to y--”

“Go back to the group, Mutt!”

And Mingyu didn’t know what to do except to obey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is actually pretty fun not gonna lie
> 
> But anyway thank you for reading this story it means a lot and just lemme know what y'all think :)


	6. "Say Your Goodbyes."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan messes up, Mingyu rebels and Seokmin is regretting his life choices.

Seokmin woke up with his head resting on Seungcheol’s thigh. He wasn't entirely sure how that happened. He slowly sat up and rubbed the back of his neck when Seungcheol mumbled, “Morning, sleepyhead.”

“You're awake?”

“Yeah.”

“How did I end up here?”

“You sat hunched over that stupid little notepad you and Josh share for hours and then you finally passed out… I didn't want to move you.”

“Oh.”

“You barely sleep.”

“I know."

Seungcheol didn't push him further. Seokmin, like the majority of them, changed after Chan's death. He almost became obsessive with how precise things had to be now. He glanced at the notepad and then looked away. 

Seokmin went to stand up and Seungcheol grabbed his arm, “Go back to sleep. You're allowed to have lazy days.”

Seokmin shook his head, “I need to talk to Josh and then I need to go over things with Jun and then I wanted to check on--"

“It can wait. Sleep.”

“Can you take that to Josh?” he pointed to the notepad.

“Of course.”

Seokmin was out three seconds later. Seungcheol picked up the notebook and skimmed through it. Fuck, these two really worked hard. The hand drawn map of the mall showed all the emergency exits and also places they've located stray zombies. Everything was recorded. They had lists of what they had prepacked and other things they needed to look for. Some things were scratched off and added to the prepacked list, but it still seemed as though they planned on finding more things before the mall was no longer safe. 

On the next few pages there were notes.  _ Don't breathe their smell in  _ and  _ only defend yourself; you don't know how many more are around _ . Typical rules and notes that were pretty commonly known. Then Seungcheol saw  _ they mimic _ . They mimic?

“Catching up, Cheol?” Josh asked. Seungcheol didn't know his body was subconsciously going towards him while he read.

“I didn't mean to pry, but…”

“Read it. It's meant for you, too.” Josh said with an awkward smile. Seungcheol handed it to him.

“Some other time. Seokmin is sleeping but he wanted me to give it to you.”

“Oh. Good. Thanks.” Josh went to turn and head towards the water bottles when Seungcheol spoke up again. The notebook made him lose his sense of safety.

“Hey Josh? Can you take Kwannie and Jihoon to check out a new spot? Just so we know where to go in an emergency in case this…”

Josh just nodded, “Okay.”

“All of you carry something. Bring the shotgun--the good one.”

“Yes, sir.” Josh saluted before finding the other two. 

He found Seungkwan with ease, because wherever Hansol was, so was he. The two of them were trying to fix the zipper on Hansol's coat. Josh sighed to himself; these kids were a mess, “Hey Kwan.” Seungkwan looked up instantly, “Cheol wants you to help us find a, uh, backup shelter.”

“Oh. ‘Kay.” Seungkwan stopped helping and Hansol looked at him, annoyed.

“Dude,  _ help me. _ ”

Josh groaned and snapped the zipper back into place with ease, zipping it up and down for a few test runs, “You guys are hopeless.”

“Thanks.” Hansol mumbled. He didn’t actually need help with the zipper. He needed Seungkwan to stay where he was safe.

“Yeah, whatever. Come on, Seungkwan. We gotta find Katniss. He could be anywhere.”

Hansol grabbed Seungkwan’s arm. Seungkwan’s head had been hurting ever since the zombie incident and he knew what would happen if they found out, but he also knew he had to act as if nothing was wrong. “I’ll be fine.” Seungkwan said quietly. With a deep breath, Hansol let him go.

Jihoon was sitting on a table in the food court, with a bunch of other tables moved around him so he had room to spread his stuff out. He looked a lot smaller with the big puffy jacket and hood covering his entire head, but the knife he used to sharpen the arrows and add more curve to his bow was a nice reminder of how dangerous he could be. He was fixing broken arrows and tightening his bow string, but by the time Josh and Seungkwan found him he was firing them at random objects for target practice. A chair squeaked as Josh pushed his way through the crazy, unorganized food court and Jihoon almost shot right at him.

“That's the second time I've almost gotten you.” Jihoon growled.

“Save your arrows. We gotta go out.” Josh said.

“No." He said bitterly, flipping the hair out of his face and swinging off the tables.

“Yes?”

“Not going.” Jihoon spared him a glance and then went back to gathering stray arrows, “Especially not with him.” He pointed the end of his bow at Seungkwan. Seungkwan rolled his eyes. Joshua bit his lower lip nervously. 

“Come on, we need your super skills.”

Jihoon stopped what he was doing and sighed loudly. His super skills weren't as great as they were when he first started. His fingers were callused and full of aches to the point he couldn't shoot entirely straight. That's why he practiced all day. His super skills weren't super when he was out with Wonwoo and Minghao. They weren’t super when Chan was being chased and ended up dying. No, he wasn’t going to risk another bad shot.

He shot an old soda can off of the top of the broken vending machine, “Take Minghao.”

“Don't want Minghao.”

“Wonwoo.”

“ _ Definitely _ don't want Wonwoo.”

“Jeonghan.”

“He's fucked up."

“He's not fucked up.”

“He almost killed Wonwoo.”

“I think everyone except  _ Mutt-gyu _ has almost killed Wonwoo.”

“Cheol asked for you personally.”

“ _UGH!_ _FINE_.” Jihoon groaned and gathered his stuff, “I fucking can't stand you two.”

“Noted. Just don't shoot us.” Seungkwan smiled. Jihoon almost punched him.

 

_ “Does it look good?” Jeonghan asked hesitantly. Judging by the looks on Soonyoung and Seungcheol’s faces, it didn't.  _

_ “...Yeah...” Seungcheol said nervously. He was very unconvincing. _

_ Jeonghan bit his lower lip while Soonyoung grabbed a mirror, “I don't know what happened but I can redo it. But… for the next few days…” _

_ Jeonghan had orange hair. _

_ He almost cried. Soonyoung dyed his own hair constantly and some of the other boys had their hair dyed by him previously, so Jeonghan didn't think anything of it.  Jun went blonde before, Wonwoo usually lightened his hair for the summer, and Jihoon and Seungcheol even went pink at one point out of a dare. How could his hair be fucked up so badly? He looked up at Soonyoung in absolute shock, “I wanted to be BLONDE!” _

_ “I-I don’t know, I really don’t. I have to let it sit for a few days, and then I’ll probably just bleach it completely and then add in the blonde--” _

_ “I look like a fucking carrot, Kwon Soonyoung!” Jeonghan shouted and Seungcheol laughed, “I can't go out in public like this!” _

_ Hansol stepped into the bathroom to check on the progress. He froze, then slowly erupted into hysterical laughter before walking away. Jeonghan felt his eyes get watery and he pulled his hood up to cover his entire head. _

_ “You're a very cute carrot.” Seungcheol cooed, kissing his nose, “It'll be fixed in no time. Before Wonwoo’s party. Right, Soon?” _

_ Soonyoung nodded confidently, “For now, big hoodies and hats. Normal winter accessories.” _

_ “Soonyoungie?” _

_ “Mm?” _

_ “IT'S JULY!!” _

 

Jeonghan ran his fingers along the racks once filled with hair care products. That one bottle of orange dye stuck out to him, reminding him of his horrible experience with hair coloring. He smiled as he looked back on it now, “You did fix it before Wonwoo’s big party.” Jeonghan admitted, then sighed, “You'd have a heart attack with how damaged my hair is now, Soonyoungie.” He blinked away the tears in his eyes and took a deep breath in. He moved away from the shelf.

“This is so stupid!” he kicked a box on the floor, “Why the hell is this happening to us!? Why do people have to die--good people like you and Chan! Why couldn't  _ I  _ die first!? Or evil dictators that rule third world countries!? God  _ dammit! _ ” he was out of it. Angry and upset and alone.

Well, he wasn't alone because the second he heard Jeonghan shouting, Jun sped-walked over to see what was wrong. He flinched when a bottle of hairspray shattered the display window. Then Jeonghan locked eyes with him and Jun knew he was fucked. He shouldn't have been watching him in the first place.

“Or people like you. That pretend they're doctors and know what they're talking about, allowing kids to go out and expect them to be able to outrun a zombie on a broken ankle.” Jeonghan growled.

Jun was somehow able to speak, “I never said he was able to do that.” Jeonghan looked absolutely crazy. His long hair came in strands in front of his face and the dirt on his cheeks just added to the madness. His eyes were wild looking. Jun didn't feel safe around him. He felt like running away, but his feet were glued to the floor. Besides… It was just Jeonghan, right?

Just Jeonghan, slowly losing his mind.

The older boy huffed a laugh after what felt like hours, sad smile playing on his lips, “You're right.” He said quietly, brokenly, “I killed him.”

“No--what? No.” Jun said, unable to control his body as he rushed to comfort Jeonghan. His mind screamed at him to stop, but he just couldn't.  He caught Jeonghan right before his knees buckled and eased him down to the ground softly, “It's Korea's fault. It's whoever decided to release this horrible disease into the world's fault. It's  _ not _ yours.”

Jeonghan cried, “I'm gonna be one of them…”

Jun paused, “A zombie?”

“Over time. We all will.”

Jun rubbed his back, “You can't think like that. You're gonna be okay.” Jeonghan just cried more, “Do you want me to get Seungcheol?”

Jeonghan gripped the front of his shirt, “Don't leave.”

“Then hold on. I'll carry you.” Jun gently pried his hands from his shirt and turned around to let Jeonghan climb on his back, “Okay?” Jeonghan nodded against Jun’s shoulder blade, “Alright, hold on.”

They went in silence for most of the trip to find Seungcheol. Then Jeonghan started to mumble, mostly to himself. Jun could make out words and noticed the change in his voice, as if he was having a conversation with someone. Jun decided not to bring it up to either Jeonghan or Seungcheol. He just dropped him off and Seungcheol immediately took care of him, knowing exactly what to do when Jeonghan was upset.

 

“He’s not the boss of you. You can do whatever you want, Gyu.” Minghao said.

Mingyu sighed and slid down the wall. Over the past few days Minghao had been willing to do anything to get away from everyone, and Mingyu felt the same. But Wonwoo told him to stay put, even though he  _ desperately _ wanted to get away. He wanted to go on the rooftop with Minghao, “It’s not worth getting yelled at.”

“I’ll say I forced you into it. Come on.” Minghao tugged at his sleeve, “I wanna go have fun.”

“What’s so fun about the roof?”

“Absolutely nothing, but we can find something stupid to do up there and Seokmin is sleeping so I can’t drag him along and I actually hate everyone here.”

Relatable, Mingyu thought. He knew Minghao only considered him, Seokmin and Jun his friends and everyone else were just ‘friends of friends’. He was both too introverted and too lazy to actually make it a point to get to know everyone else better. So with Seokmin sleeping and Jun MIA, Mingyu was left to deal with him. 

“What if we see a zombie or something?”

“Well, then, I don’t know. You can shoot it.” Minghao shrugged.

“You’re useless.” Mingyu muttered, then looked up at Minghao, shocked at himself. Oh, shit. No, that wasn’t him. Wonwoo said that, not Mingyu. Mingyu didn’t think of him that way, but it was too late to take it back. Minghao just kind of stood there, not knowing what to say, “Wait. No.”

“I don’t think I’m  _ useless _ , I--”

“I didn’t mean that. Forget I said it.”

“Okay…” 

Minghao was good at hiding his emotions.  _ Was. _ Ever since he almost died out in the woods he was much more clingy and needed to be assured that he was safe. Of course, he denied ever feeling such a way if anyone were to ask, but it was obvious that he didn’t want to do anything anymore. Mingyu knew that Minghao chose him to cling to at the moment, and he just shot him down. He felt like the biggest jerk in the world. At this rate, he was going to become just as bitter as Wonwoo.

“Let’s go to the rooftop.”

Minghao couldn’t hide the smile, “What about Wonwoo--”

“Fuck Wonwoo. I can’t stand him anymore.” Mingyu said almost a little too loudly as he got up. And yes,  _ fuck  _ Wonwoo. Mingyu told himself he was done being bossed around by him. He was bigger and stronger anyway; the only thing Wonwoo had on him was the fact he cared about him. If Mingyu told himself how much he hated him, reminded himself of all the crap he’s done to him, he thought it would be easy to get over him. He imagined himself being able to have something to say other than “Sorry” when the other got mad. He thought he could one day be able to grab  _ him _ by the arm and drag him away from his friends when he felt like it. He wished he was able to be just as powerful as Wonwoo. But fuck Wonwoo. He didn't want to be anything similar to someone like him. 

Mingyu remembered all the times Wonwoo promised he would never hurt him, would never make him worry, but that's all the other ever did now. He ruined him. He said he couldn’t stand him, but his heart still ached for him.

 

Jihoon was almost knocked over by the wind three times. He dodged an old street sign by only a few centimeters. Why was he out here? There weren’t even any dangers besides the wind blowing things at you. Seungkwan and Josh continued to walk (struggle) through the areas that used to be streets to find a suitable second option.

“There’s a hotel down this way. It might be okay.” Seungkwan shouted against the wind. Josh just nodded and followed. Jihoon rolled his eyes. He tuned out and just followed blindly for the most part. He kept his head down, not really feeling like he had a point in being there.

A gunshot made him snap back into reality. Josh held the shotgun, aimed at a body that was no longer moving. Jihoon couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but it was dead now… whatever it was.

The hotel’s entrance was boarded off, but there was a gaping hole in the side of it that allowed access. Seungkwan turned to Josh and Jihoon, unsure about checking it out further. This building, unlike the mall, did not look structurally sound. 

“In a pinch, will it work?” Josh asked. Jihoon stepped right through without waiting for them to catch up. The inside looked as though it had been flooded out for weeks. The smell was horrible. Seungkwan covered his nose with his shirt, suddenly remembering the last time he breathed in bad smells. His headache was getting worse.

Jihoon went up the stairs and noticed the second floor wasn't too bad. The beds were in usable conditions and the floors could hold weight. He looked up at the ceiling and didn't see any cracks or leaks that would be a problem. He had no idea where they would store anything or what they'd be able to actually do at the hotel, but it was somewhere to escape the elements. He turned to Josh, “Seems fine.” He said and Josh sighed with relief, “Can we go now? I’m tired of this wind.”

“ _ Seungkwan! _ ” someone screamed. It sounded a lot like… Hansol?

“Hansol!?” Seungkwan shouted. Josh held his arm, making sure he couldn’t run towards the screams, “Hey, let go!”

“It’s not Hansol.” Josh said calmly, “Come on, we gotta go now.”

“I don't hear anything… what's going on?” Jihoon questioned.

“ _ Seungkwan, help me! _ ” Seungkwan freed himself from Joshua’s grasp and ran towards the voice. Joshua darted after him. He knew it was something mimicking Hansol’s voice and messing with Seungkwan’s mind.

“HANSOL!” Seungkwan screamed back, “Hansol, where are you!?” He stopped when the screaming stopped. There was no one around.

_ Don’t let them know. Don’t let them know. Don’t let them know. _

His head was killing him.

_ You’re dead. You’re dead. You’re dead. _

Seungkwan pressed the heels of his hands against his forehead, trying to rid himself of the pain as he doubled over. The voices replayed in his head, Hansol’s voice mixing in with others he didn’t quite remember. He felt hands on his shoulder trying to pull him back up and he couldn’t even concentrate on who it was.

_ Seungkwan, get up! _

_ Come on, you fucking idiot, MOVE! _

_ Don’t let them know. _

Seungkwan forced himself to open his eyes. Josh’s face blurred and doubled and moved around in front of him. He was shouting something but it sounded too far away. All he could focus on was the voices mixing in his head. They were yelling at him too much and he just wanted it to go away.

“What are you doing!? Come on! Seungkwan! Let’s move!” Joshua screamed right in front of his face. All Seungkwan did was stare back, horrified at something. Josh grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him towards the mall, Jihoon right by his side. There were no zombies in sight, and that’s what made everything so much scarier.

When they managed to get back into their current shelter and to the rest of the group, Seungkwan had snapped back to reality. He blinked a few times, confused. He didn’t understand what he just went through, but it was all over. His head still hurt, but not like it did before. Jihoon made him face him and examined him all over, “Something’s up with you.” He said, annoyed, “What the hell is it?”

“I… I don’t… know what happened.” Seungkwan replied, dazed. He turned to Hansol, who was running down the broken escalator to go see what was wrong, “Did you… call me?”

“What? No, why?” Seungkwan didn't reply. Hansol got nervous, “Did you hear me call you?” 

“Josh.” Seokmin called. Joshua immediately turned his attention to Seokmin and walked with him away from the group. By the time they were well out of earshot from everyone else, Joshua noticed that Jeonghan and Jun were looking Seungkwan over. Hansol looked way too freaked out compared to everyone else.

“What do you think?” Seokmin asked him, knowing he wouldn't voice his opinions to the rest of the group without getting someone to back him up first. 

“He's hearing voices that aren't entirely there. He's zoning out completely and becoming extremely unresponsive so suddenly... I think he got bit. The thing is there's no bite mark. If he got it by just breathing it in, we would all be screwed. But it's just him. I honestly don't know.” Joshua sighed.

“We know that anyone can hear the voices. Did you hear Hansol's voice?”

“Very faintly. Seungkwan acted as though he heard it screaming at him. Jihoon didn't hear anything.”

“Zombies develop good hearing.” Seokmin said slowly, recalling what he wrote down a few months ago after he and Mingyu were almost attacked.

He and Mingyu climbed a tree one morning in an attempt to be safe while away from the others. They scoped out the area and didn't see any zombies, but brought the shitty shotgun just in case. They talked somewhat quietly as to not draw attention to themselves, but after only thirty minutes they noticed a couple of wanderers make their way towards their tree. It was too much of a coincidence that so many wandered to the same spot from different areas. They shot at three and then booked it back to the camp. That's when Seokmin started the book. 

Joshua sighed, “I'm sick of this.”

“I'll keep an eye on him for a few days. If he improves, then great. But if he gets worse… I guess we'll have to make a call.” Seokmin turned his attention to the group, looking past Joshua. He and Seungkwan’s eyes met and he knew by his look of hopelessness that he heard everything, “He knows.” Seokmin whispered. 

Joshua turned his head for a split second just to catch Seungkwan staring, then turned back to Seokmin, “Just watch him. I'll talk to Seungcheol and he can take it from there.” Seokmin nodded. He was starting to wonder why he ever volunteered to take care of the sick when all they ended up doing was dying nowadays.

Wonwoo watched the commotion from afar. He noticed Hansol walking towards him, but not looking at him. He probably just wanted to be alone, but Wonwoo couldn’t help himself, “Might as well say your goodbyes. Looks as though he’s gonna turn pretty soon.”

“I know. He shouldn’t have gone search--” Hansol shut himself up. He forgot that (a) he was talking to  _ Wonwoo _ , who would do anything to keep the group entirely healthy whether it meant betraying his friends or not, and (b) Hansol would probably be banished for hiding the fact that he knew Seungkwan was going to turn. Wonwoo didn’t seem to notice the falter, probably just assuming Hansol meant going out to search for shelter, not a zombie in a storage closet.

“I’m just trying to help you out. Prepare. I’m probably going to be the one to kill him.”

“Fuck you, Wonwoo.” Hansol growled, “Mingyu was right.”

“Right about what?” Wonwoo asked calmly. Mingyu would never talk bad about him.

“Nothing really. I just overheard him say ‘Fuck Wonwoo, I can’t stand him anymore.’ a couple hours ago. Just thought it was relevant since pretty much everyone else is thinking the same thing.”

Wonwoo left Hansol to prepare to mourn over his friend. He thought things with Mingyu were starting to go back to normal, but if that’s how he really felt then Wonwoo didn’t know why he kept trying to keep him safe. 

Fuck Mingyu.


	7. "He Was Your Favorite."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo gets hurt, Vernon snaps and someone dies.

What do you do when your friend turns into a zombie? Do you support them? Comfort them? Do you pretend as if nothing's wrong? Seungcheol had no idea. When Seungkwan suddenly went from bad to worse, he had done everything possible to make him comfortable. He constantly asked Seokmin and Josh questions but nobody seemed to realize the cause. With Jeonghan going crazy and Wonwoo acting more off than usual, Seungkwan being sick just put him over the edge. He didn't know how much longer he could handle it.

Jeonghan still slept next to Seungcheol every night, getting as close as possible to stay warm. His whimpers throughout the night became a constant. Sometimes he would wake up from a bad dream and cause Seungcheol to wake up in a panic. He didn't even want to think about how Jeonghan was going to react when he found out about Seungkwan. Jeonghan paid more attention to Seungkwan now and Seungcheol couldn't just tell him to  _ stop _ without giving a reason. What could he say? “Don't, because he's going to die in a few days”? No. That was wrong. He stupidly allowed Jeonghan to baby the kid even though it was inevitable that Seungkwan would be going very shortly.

Seungcheol sighed, “Who's gonna tell him, though?” 

“You're the leader.” Wonwoo replied

“And if it were anyone else I wouldn't be hesitant.”

“Is this your subtle way of telling me to do the dirty work? Because you make me do that a lot. I'm getting tired of it.” Seungcheol buried his face in his hands as Wonwoo continued, “Unless you wanna kill the kid. Hell, I have a better idea. Make  _ Jeonghan  _ kill the kid. It's like killing two birds with one stone. Somewhat literally.”

“Man, fuck you.” Seungcheol sighed again before making his way over to Jeonghan. It was best to get it over with.

Jeonghan was compliant with Seungcheol taking him by the hand and leading him away from Seungkwan, even though Seungkwan’s expression was off and it didn't seem normal. He let Seungcheol pick him up and sit him down on some crates and hold both of his hands, “I need to tell you something.”

“That you love me?” Jeonghan smiled. He was so happy for once, even if it was the blissful, ignorant kind of happiness that went along with going insane.

Seungcheol laughed lightly and entertained him, “Of course I love you.” then he got serious, “But I need to tell you something else. It's about Seungkwan.” Jeonghan stopped smiling. Seungcheol hated to go on, “He's--”

A low pitched shout made Jeonghan look away from Seungcheol and towards the main camp area, “Was that Wonwoo?” He flinched when he heard the gunshot, covering his ears and ducking down low.

“Stay here.” Seungcheol said in a voice Jeonghan didn’t particularly find soothing. He grabbed his arm before Seungcheol could run.

“No, what if you get--”

“I’ll be right back.” Seungcheol promised, and it was enough for Jeonghan to let him go. He darted towards camp, noticing that Seungkwan wasn’t where he left him within his sight. He knew he shouldn’t have taken his eyes off him; he wasn’t trustworthy.

“ _ Ah, fuck! _ ” He heard Wonwoo growl, and it wasn’t like him to sound like he was in so much pain even if he was. He heard another gunshot, and Seungcheol couldn’t even prepare himself for what he planned on seeing. He thought of the possibilities: Wonwoo was dead, Seungkwan was dead, both of them were dead, or the least possible one, that nobody was dead. Wonwoo didn’t  _ scream _ , he never showed if he was in pain, so hearing him shout like that…

Seungcheol stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the situation. Seungkwan was dead. He was more than dead -- someone had cut him up pretty bad, broke his neck, and shot at him twice. There was blood pouring from his mouth, his forehead, and his stomach, along with blood on his hands and around his neck. Seungcheol almost wanted to vomit from the rotting smell. The dead boy’s eyes were still open in shock, but they were dark and soulless now. A small grunt came from his left, and Seungcheol immediately locked eyes with Wonwoo before looking the other boy up and down. Wonwoo was a mess, too -- one of Minghao’s knives stuck out of his thigh and his pant leg was stained with his own blood. He looked like he was struggling to move, and Seungcheol went over to try to help as best he could before Wonwoo stopped him.

“Don’t. Leave it in. It-- _ shit _ \--Jun’s coming back.” Wonwoo managed, “That… zombie psychopath stabbed me before I had a chance to defend myself.”

“Did he… turn?”

“Would I have a fucking knife in my leg if he didn't?!” Wonwoo snapped. Seungcheol fought the urge to snap back since Wonwoo was obviously in a lot of pain, “God  _ dammit,  _ where the hell is Jun!” 

“I-I don’t know. I’m sure he’s going to be back soon, but you’re gonna be fine.”

Wonwoo growled, “You’re the worst.” He looked up at Seungcheol with anger in his eyes, but when he noticed Mingyu staring right at him, he softened up slightly. He looked at Mingyu’s expression: a mixture between concern, shock, and uncertainty. He didn’t do anything to help him, though. Mingyu watched him from afar, but once he realized he was caught, he backed off and walked up the broken escalator. Wonwoo turned his attention to Seungcheol, “Worst at small talk, I mean.” he said, quieter.

Jun jogged down the escalator just as Mingyu was going up them, almost knocking the taller boy down in the process. He apologized quickly about taking so long and turned to Seungcheol, “You might want to leave.”

“Why?”

“Do you wanna hear him scream for the next hour or so?” Jun asked, ignoring the glare Wonwoo sent his way, “Besides, it’s nasty stuff.” Seungcheol suddenly remembered Jeonghan and agreed to leave. He needed to go consult him as well. Jun gave Wonwoo an awkward smile, “I knew you wouldn’t want him hearing you scream like a little girl.”

“Like hell I’m gonna--” Wonwoo cut himself off by biting his lip to avoid shouting out when Jun removed the knife without warning and quickly put pressure on the wound. Jun laughed, and Wonwoo tried to steady his breathing, “You… fucking… bastard!”

“Oh, don’t be a baby.”

“You just yanked a dagger out of my leg in one shot and you call me a baby?”

“It has to be done. Here, keep this cloth on and press hard; I don’t care how much it hurts.” Jun reached behind him and turned the walkie-talkie on, “Seokmin?”

The static stopped for Seokmin to answer, “Jun?”

“Yeah. I need you to bring me the entire medical kit. And… Seungkwan…” Jun glanced over at the body.

Vernon’s voice came through, “Is he okay?” 

Jun hesitated, “No… he's… I didn't…” yes, he was the one who shot Seungkwan dead, but talking to living, sane friends of his about killing him was worse, especially Vernon, “I didn't have a choice…” There was no reply on the other end for a few seconds. Jun bit his lip nervously, not wanting to be the reason Vernon did something stupid. Seokmin announced he would be right over shortly but Jun felt that he messed up. 

He turned back to Wonwoo and worked with what he could, “The knife didn't hit bone, and it didn't seem to hit any veins or main arteries. Consider yourself lucky, but your muscle… that's what I'm worried about. Can you take your pants off?” Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, “I need to see what I'm working with. Don't get weird on me.”

 

Vernon went with Seokmin and Joshua no matter how much they told him not to. Seungkwan couldn't be dead. Of course it was very realistic, but he just  _ couldn't be. _ He had absolutely no idea what he was feeling, because he knew Seungkwan was sick, and he was there when Seungkwan got infected, and that people were dying all around them, but it just hit so close to home that it just couldn't be real. Besides, they wouldn't kill one of their group mates without getting a unanimous vote, and Seungkwan wouldn't have  _ died.  _

But there he was, laying right where he died on the once-white tile floor of the mall. It was such a gruesome sight that Vernon didn't think of it as real at all. It just all seemed fake. Seokmin's cursing brought him to a state of panic, because Seokmin sounded so horrified. Vernon locked eyes with Jun, who was trying not to pay attention to the newcomers and fix Wonwoo’s leg. He could tell right away that Jun was guilty of something. 

“You did this, didn't you?” his voice came out deeper than he imagined it would. He thought he would be more out of control, but he seemed to make Jun slightly intimidated, “Didn't you?”

“Listen, I didn't have a choice. He attacked Wonwoo and he was already in rough shape I-- I didn't  _ want _ to."

“We shouldn't have kept him alive." Seokmin sighed, “It was wrong to begin with.”

“You did do the right thing, Jun.” Josh added, but Vernon wasn't having it.

“Since when are we playing fucking  _ God  _ with each other!? Who decides who lives and dies!?”

Wonwoo spoke up, “When he snaps, you shoot. You know the rules.”

Vernon got violent. He went to hit Wonwoo, but got blocked by Jun, who became his next target. When he went to hit Jun, Seokmin had to hold him back. When Seokmin couldn't hold onto him anymore, Joshua had to use all his strength to pin him to the floor so he didn't end up hurting anyone at all. Vernon kicked and screamed and threatened the older boy as much as he could, but he silenced when he heard Josh's voice crack when he shouted, “Enough! Seungkwan is  _ dead _ , and there's  _ nothing anyone can do about it! _ ”

Seungkwan was… dead.

He was dead.

Of course he was already dead. He was dead when Vernon let him go kill a zombie by himself in that storage room. He was dead when he started screaming in front of Joshua and Jihoon about noises only he could hear. Vernon let all that happen. It was his fault. He looked at Wonwoo when Josh let him back up and just saw the big patch of blood that was already staining the gauze Jun just put on five minutes prior. He knew Seungkwan did that. Wonwoo could barely get his pants back on, and it was all because Seungkwan went crazy on him.

Vernon  _ let _ Seungkwan get that way. He broke down crying in front of them without caring. He started to ramble and apologize to nobody in particular but if he had to guess, he was apologizing to Seungkwan the most. He remembered the conversation he had with him about his favorite ice cream because Seungkwan didn't want to see him get sad about the inevitable. He was the most amazing friend he could have ever asked for, and what did he do for him in return? Sit back and watch him suffer. 

And hearing Seungkwan's neck snap replayed over and over in Wonwoo’s head. Soonyoung was a one and done deal. Seungkwan attacked  _ him _ , and Wonwoo fought back so violently that he snapped the boys neck, and he  _ still  _ wasn't dead. It was something Wonwoo had never dealt with before. Jun was his absolute hero, whether he said it out loud or not. He wasn't sure if he could shoot Seungkwan with a knife in his thigh anyway. But Wonwoo felt that Vernon had more of a reason to feel bad about the situation, so he stayed quiet. 

 

“He was your favorite.” Jeonghan said quietly, “He listened the best. Didn't he?”

Seungcheol was surprised with how Jeonghan took the news, considering he was destroyed after both Soonyoung and Chan's deaths, and how much he babied Seungkwan. It was almost as if Jeonghan was more worried about how he was handling it. Seungcheol sighed. He wasn't sure how to handle him, “He was a very good listener. Hey… Jeonghan? Look at me…” Jeonghan was no longer paying attention. He was staring right behind Seungcheol with an almost dazed expression, “Jeonghan, are you okay?”

Seungcheol turned and followed his gaze. They were carrying Seungkwan's body outside in a blanket.

Jeonghan just took in a deep breath repeated himself, “He was your favorite.” Seungcheol turned to him again and Jeonghan looked him in the eyes, “Are you okay?”

“Yes. I'm okay.” Seungcheol said calmly, watching Jeonghan's expression carefully, “I don't… know what's going on with you, but I know you're… hurting.”

Jeonghan could hear Seungcheol’s voice waver, but he wasn't sure if it was because of Seungkwan or because he was worried about him, “I'm sad, but I'm okay. As long as you're okay.”

“I'm okay. I promise. Just look at me. Only look at me.” Seungcheol cupped Jeonghan’s face in his hands and forced him to ignore Seungkwan's body going up in flames behind him. They needed to make sure he wouldn't come back, but when the smell hit Jeonghan’s nose, he gripped at the front of Seungcheol’s jacket. Seungcheol brought his mind back and focused on him, and Jeonghan relaxed again. “You trust me, right? You know that nobody's gonna hurt you?” Jeonghan nodded, “You're safe. Everyone is perfectly safe until they turn. But you're never gonna turn because I'm keeping a very close eye on you at all times. And when I'm not able to keep an eye on you, do you know who does?”

“Josh.”

“Right. Because he's your best friend, right?” Jeonghan nodded, “See, we all have your back.”

 

_ Wonwoo didn’t even realize someone was sneaking up behind him until his books were smacked out of his hands. He didn’t pay attention to the ‘nerd!’ remarks by a couple people and a shoulder shove as he simply sighed and knelt down to pick them up. He didn’t bother sticking up for himself anymore; there was no point in causing a scene if they was a chance of them snapping his glasses in half like they did last time. He heard Joshua ask if he was okay and Wonwoo just nodded in response.  _

_ It was his answer to everything. When he was hacking up a lung, he was okay. When he had a bloody nose, he was okay. When he broke his wrist, he was okay. He always stuck it out and ignored his problems because there were always more important things to worry about.  _

_ “Didn’t you have a book bag?” Joshua asked, pointing to the empty space next to Wonwoo. Wonwoo turned to where Joshua pointed and groaned, “I’ll get it, don’t worry.” _

_ “Nah. Don’t bother.” _

_ “Wonwoo, don’t be stubborn. I’m their senior, they have to listen to me, don’t they?” _

_ “Yes, but you just moved here and you’re easy to bully. I don’t think they’d respect you the same. I’ll just…” Wonwoo’s voice trailed off when he realized he really didn’t have a plan to go off of. _

_ “They have a new guy in the group. The kid from China. I think he’d be nice enough since he doesn’t know the dynamics yet.” _

_ Wonwoo stood up and brushed himself off, sparing a quick glance forwards to notice someone walking towards them, Wonwoo’s book bag in hand, “Wow, Josh. You’re a wizard.” He mumbled. _

_ Wonwoo never met the new student and frankly, didn’t even know he existed until he was handing him his bag, “Is this yours?” the new student asked. _

_ “Um, yeah. Thanks.” Wonwoo said, quickly slinging the bag over his shoulder and stuffing his books in it just in case someone else decided to knock them out of his hands.  _

_ “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know they were like that.” The new boy looked at both Joshua and Wonwoo, nervous smile playing on his lips, “Guess I didn’t pick the right group to go with, huh?” _

_ “No, you didn’t.” Wonwoo said somewhat coldly. He didn’t need pity. _

_ “I’m Wen Junhui.” the boy said, “By the way. But, uh, you can call me Jun, if you like. Everyone around here seems to like that better than my full name.” _

_ “Joshua Hong. Or just Josh.” Joshua smiled, “And this is Jeon Wonwoo.” _

_ “I also go by Nerd, if you prefer.” Wonwoo said bitterly. Joshua elbowed him and Jun just looked around awkwardly. _

_ “I’m not gonna hang out with them anymore. It’s not like I know many people here, but they don’t seem like my type of people.” _

_ Jeonghan came out of nowhere and pinched Joshua’s lower back to scare him. He wrapped his arms around him in a slight apology and rested his head on Joshua’s shoulder, “Hi babes!” _

_ “Don’t call me ‘babes’.” Joshua whispered harshly. _

_ “Oh, shh. I do what I want.” Jeonghan finally noticed Jun, “Who’s this?” _

_ “Jun.” Jun introduced himself, “I just moved here.” _

_ “I’m Jeonghan. Are you a friend of Wonwoo’s or something?” Jeonghan asked. Wonwoo really wanted to return to being a fly on the wall during this conversation, but when Jun glanced over at him awkwardly, he knew that was over. _

_ “Uh, not really, I just returned his bag.” Jun said. _

_ “Ah…” Jeonghan said and seemed to be a little disappointed. He knew Wonwoo was always being bullied somehow, but Jun seemed like such a nice guy already, “Would you be opposed to the idea?” _

_ “Jeonghan!” Wonwoo groaned. Jeonghan shot him an innocent look, then smiled softly at Jun. _

_ Jun cleared his throat, “Uh, no, not at all.” _

_ “Oh perfect! See, I like you already! Anyways, I just wanted to scare the crap out of you. I gotta go meet my real babe.” Jeonghan kissed Joshua’s cheek, and then Wonwoo’s (who tried to avoid it as best he could), and then he hesitated on Jun, “Hug?” Jun just shrugged and Jeonghan went in full force as if they’ve been friends for years, “Alright, love you guys. See you tomorrow!” He said before walking away with a slight pep in his step. _

_ Jun watched him leave, “He seems fun.” _

_ “That’s because he and his boyfriend just got back together. He's gonna be like this for the next three days, and then he'll get back to normal. They’re a rollercoaster, but you learn to ignore it.” Wonwoo explained, seeming bored. _

_ “Boyfriend?” _

_ “Oh--well, yeah. He’s-- oh, but he’s just super friendly, too. He isn’t flirting or anything, don’t worry.” Joshua stuttered. Jun just shrugged. It didn’t bother him, “Well, I should go. I’m gonna try to catch Seungcheol and see if he’ll drive me home. Don’t mention the babe thing to him at all, alright?” Joshua turned to Wonwoo, “Wonwoo…” _

_ “Lips are sealed. Don’t worry.” Wonwoo said and Joshua took off jogging after Jeonghan. It left Wonwoo and Jun alone. _

_ “Do you have a ride home?” Jun asked. Wonwoo looked up at him curiously, “I mean it’s raining, and I have a car…” _

_ “You don’t have to be friends with me for real, you know. Jeonghan can be pushy.” Wonwoo said, walking towards the exit. It was in fact raining, and he was planning on walking anyway. _

_ “No, I want to!” Jun said quickly, “I just told you, I don’t really have friends either--I mean, no, wait, I didn’t mean that you didn’t have friends--” _

_ “I get it, calm down.” Wonwoo said and Jun immediately silenced, “You can drive me home, if you’d like.” _

_ Jun smiled sheepishly, “Sorry. Follow me.” He led Wonwoo to a different exit to get to his car faster, “Can you explain your friends to me?” _

_ “That’d take hours.” _

_ “I got the time. Are you hungry?” _

_ Wonwoo turned to him, kind of surprised, “Um… yeah. Okay.” Jun smiled again, “Okay.” Wonwoo repeated. “Well, Joshua is quite possibly the nicest kid you’ll ever meet. He's from America, actually. He just moved here not too long ago…”  _

_ Jun listened intently and laughed at Wonwoo’s sarcastic humor. Maybe Wonwoo could grow to like this kid. _

 

Josh was nervous around Wonwoo. He wasn't afraid of him, nor did he think Wonwoo wanted him to be afraid, but there was just something about  _ Wonwoo being hurt _ that made him feel uneasy. Maybe it was that Wonwoo was so strong and now Jun had him resting overnight. He almost looked… fragile for once. Of course, telling Wonwoo that would be death, but it was how Josh felt.

“If it isn't the church boy.” Wonwoo said the second Josh showed up. Josh just smiled weakly in response and noticed a slit in Wonwoo’s jeans from where the knife cut through which revealed the blood stained bandage underneath. The jeans were baggy enough to allow his leg to breathe as it was, “Here to check on me?”

“Kind of. Hansol isn't doing too good but I figured neither were you, so…”

“3 of my limbs work. I still have my mind. I would say I'm a solid 75%.” he didn't mention how the image of Seungkwan’s neck snapping to an unnatural position because of his own actions plagued his mind or how horrible he felt that he could only watch Seungkwan bleed out from the gunshot wound in his stomach until Jun got close enough to shoot him directly in the head. It was a horrible memory that he wanted to erase forever. 

“Mingyu actually wanted me to check on you, too. Uh, he told me to tell you if you needed anything to go to him--"

“Cool.” Wonwoo cut him off a little too harshly to seem subtle. Thankfully Josh ignored it.

They both let an awkward moment of silence pass before Josh got a little closer, “Does it hurt?”

“Not too bad anymore. Seokmin doped me up.” Wonwoo answered calmly, “Besides Hansol, is anyone… in bad shape?”

Josh shrugged, “Aren't we all?” Wonwoo just nodded in agreement. Josh spoke up again, “You'll be walking in no time. Jun did good with the wound… do you need anything in the meantime?”

“Pack of cigarettes.” Wonwoo said, almost demanding. 

In a normal situation, when they were back to being close friends with no tension, Joshua would scold him for wanting something as deadly as cigarettes. He would rant and rave how bad they were for the body. But in an apocalypse, Joshua just sighed and nodded, assuring Wonwoo he'd have them soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize but at the same time I don't. Death is inevitable in this fic... I don't think this one is too detailed though.


	8. "None Of This Is Normal!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon has secrets, Hansol's a mess, Mingyu is done, and then all hell just breaks loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've realized I've switched between Hansol and Vernon quite a lot but I'm gonna try to stick with Hansol. But I'm assuming everyone knows who I'm talking about anyway lol.

Hansol didn’t move most days. When he did, it was because Seungcheol forced him to eat something so he didn’t die, but Hansol didn’t find a reason to. His best friend was dead and it left him all alone. He spent his days figuring out how to move on, but nothing came up. He stayed lost in his own thoughts and didn’t respond when someone asked him a question. He was, for lack of a better term, a zombie with a brain, and it freaked the hell out of Seokmin for the most part. Seokmin would spend his days trying to snap Hansol out of it because they truly needed all hands on deck for everything and all Hansol did was be an extra body. His eyes were always unseeing, and Seokmin was getting extremely worried.

“What if he does something to himself?” Seokmin asked Seungcheol, five days after Seungkwan’s death, “Or what if he just… kills Jun and Wonwoo?”

“I don’t think he’d kill. That’d be breaking the rules and even if he’s whacked out, he’s not a rule breaker.” Seungcheol said, “You’ve been keeping a real close eye on him so I don’t think he has the means to do something to himself. Has he talked?”

“Not to me.” Seokmin glanced over at Hansol, sitting up and staring at the floor even though Minghao and Mingyu did everything they could to try to cheer him up, to include him in conversation, anything to get the old Hansol back, “He’s nothing.”

Seungcheol watched the others along with Seokmin, “Just make sure he doesn’t kill himself. We need him.”

“To do what?” Seokmin huffed, “He’s literally nothing either way. Don’t get me wrong, I want him better, but how long is this really gonna go on?”

“Jihoon took two weeks to get over Soonyoung’s death. Remember how depressed he was? Now look at him. He’s a superstar when it comes to murder. Come on, let’s help him as much as we can… you know how hard it is. I mean, you’re dealing with it too, aren’t you? We all are.”

“Yeah but we’re all dealing with it different ways. Like, I’m sad, you’re sad, but we’re still functioning. Jihoon acts as if he’s glad the kid’s dead, and Wonwoo hasn’t even batted an eye. Hansol’s just… dead.”

“Where is Jihoon, by the way, I haven’t seen him in like three days.” Seungcheol said, immediately changing the subject.

Seokmin snapped his fingers in Seungcheol’s face, “Hansol first. Jihoon can actually take care of himself.”

“Just help him through this. I have a feeling he’s gonna be okay pretty soon.” Seungcheol said, putting a hand on Seokmin’s shoulder, “You’re the happiest kid in the world, make it rub off a little bit, alright? I gotta go find Ji.”

Seokmin huffed as Seungcheol turned the corner and disappeared, “Probably one of the only kids in the world by now.” He mumbled to himself before taking over Mingyu and Minghao’s spot next to Hansol.

 

Jihoon was fine. He was truly, really, undeniably fine. Death was inevitable, right? There was no reason to get worked up for nothing, because he was _fine_.

It was normal to kick a vending machine over and smash and bend and break it to the point of no return. He hated Seungkwan. He couldn't fucking _stand_ Seungkwan, so why should he get pissed? Why should he care that Seungkwan was dead? Soonyoung died. Chan died. They were all dying. When Seungcheol asked him what was up, he just simply screamed, “I don't know!!”

Seungcheol was already on thin ice. Jihoon was unpredictable when he was angry and he didn't want to say the wrong thing, “Let's just get you back to the others and we can all just--"

“I swear to God, if you say ‘pretend things are normal’ I'm gonna fucking kill you.” Jihoon growled, pushing his finger hard into Seungcheol’s chest, “ _None of this is normal!_ Watching my best fucking friend _die_ is not normal! Having to pretend you don't care and tell Chan he's better off _dead_ while handing him a knife to _kill himself_ with is not normal!” Seungcheol could tell he was about to break down crying but kept it to himself, “You know the last thing I told Seungkwan was? That I fucking hated him. I told him that every damn day! I told him if he ended up dying I was going to thank God himself and go about my life because I couldn't fucking stand him that much.” Jihoon took a deep breath, “How horrible is that?”

“He didn't think anything of it, I promise you--"

“Oh bullshit.” Jihoon said coldly, “He believed it towards the end. I said it enough.” He turned and walked to his bow and arrows, picked them up, and shoved them into Seungcheol’s chest, “Tell Hong I'm not his fucking Katniss anymore. Find yourself someone else to kill things cause I'm not doing shit for anyone anymore.”

“Jihoon, come on. Let's just go back to the others and calm down.” Seungcheol said calmly, placing the stuff on the nearest table.

“God, that's another thing! You really suck at your job. This whole leader thing? It sucks! If you were a real leader who cared about everyone nobody would've fucking died in the first place!” he shoved the taller boy backwards.

“You know damn well I did my best to help Soonyoung.” Seungcheol said, voice raising, “I know who this is about, and if you don't think I did everything I fucking could, you're wrong.”

“You sat back and let him lose his damn mind.” Jihoon snarled, taking a step closer, “You were too scared to do anything and you're too scared now!”

“We're all fucking scared, Jihoon, look at yourself!”

“Of course I'm fucking scared! I'm fucking out of my mind and out of control!” Jihoon shouted back, “Why didn't you all just let Soonyoung kill me when you all had the damn chance… maybe then Chan would be alive. Maybe even Seungkwan. If I hadn't been there to push him away all the damn time.”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes. Comfort wasn't helping and neither was screaming, “Hansol's already a damn half-zombie now just blaming himself, I can't have you be one too.” He sighed, “Look man. You're one of the more reasonable people left. You can't go all zombie mode on me. I'm not gonna let that happen.”

The shorter boy’s body tensed at the word ‘zombie’, and he caught it. “Yeah, well you're too fucking late.” Jihoon growled, shoving past Seungcheol, “Maybe that's why I was such a dick to Seungkwan.”

“What the hell does that mean?” He asked, nervously.

Jihoon turned around and snapped, “It means I got bit, Seungcheol!”

Seungcheol felt himself freeze and he stopped breathing for a solid three seconds, but he didn't say anything back. He just stared.

“I got bit… a long time ago.” Jihoon took his jacket and shirt off as he talked and ran his hand over a huge faded red bite mark at the base of his neck, “Soonyoung… bit me. Right before he tried to choke me out, right before he…” Jihoon took a deep breath, “He fucking bit down hard, too, and the pain went straight to my head.” when Jihoon decided Seungcheol had a good enough look, he put his shirt and jacket back on, “My head felt like it was going to fucking split open, but I tried to seem normal so I just… kept going. I thought for sure I would be dead by morning either way.”

Seungcheol breathed out for the first time in what seemed like an eternity and Jihoon continued, “But I woke up and I was fine. It was as if nothing happened to me at all so I thought ‘that's it, I'm a zombie’. But I wasn't. I'm still not. Like sure, the pain comes back every time I'm around one of those damn things but, I don't know, still nothing. Don't you get it, Cheol? I'm _fine._ I'm perfectly okay and you get people like Soonyoung and Seungkwan who just lose their fucking minds.” Jihoon sighed, “And I hate myself because what if Chan was going to be fine like me? Granted I wasn't thinking because Jeonghan wouldn't stop crying… but you never know. That's why I've been so distant. I was afraid I would snap suddenly but I seem to be perfectly okay. And I don't get it and it freaks me out but that's just how it is.”

Seungcheol just stared at him for a few seconds before whispering, “Why didn't you tell anyone?”

“What, so Wonwoo could shoot me in the head? No thanks… look if you wanna say I broke a rule, then I broke a rule, but none if it even matters right now because I'm… I don't know I’m fine.”

“Do you think maybe Soonyoung wasn’t far gone enough to… inflict damage?”

“I have a reaction, though. I told you, my brain feels like it’s going to burst every single time one gets near me. When Wonwoo, Hao and I got lost in the woods because those fuckers chased us, I was _dying_ and it made me … it made me somewhat delirious. I didn’t even know how to get back to camp. I did… but what the fuck?”

It didn't make any sense. Instead of making him turn, the bite wasn't effective at all and the mark was even going away. Jihoon looked so broken. He used anger and frustration to build him up and make himself so miserable that he had the motivation to make everyone the same way but now…

Now he looked like a lost boy. He looked his age, yet also like a kid that just missed his bed, his home, his friends. As if the world had plucked everything he had ever seen as comforting out of his reach and dangled it in front of his face. He looked like he wanted death, but also wanted life no matter how hard it was. He looked torn up and beaten to the point Seungcheol thought he may just jump from the top of the building tomorrow. Above all he looked tired. His eyes were heavy and unseeing with bags underneath, obvious even with the long fringe.

“Why not me? Why _not_ me? I mean is it possible to end up turning because you're conditioned to think bites lead to becoming one of them and then you just slowly… become one out of insanity?” Jihoon said quietly and shaky.

“That won't be your case if you'd be fucking social again and let the others help you and calm you down.” Seungcheol said and Jihoon just looked down, “Come on. It's gonna be--"

“Don't say fine.”

“Less sucky?”

“Better.” Jihoon mumbled. If he could, he would trade his life for Soonyoung’s, and Chan's, and Seungkwan's in a heartbeat. Since that was impossible, he thought he may just try to stay alive for them.

“Promise me, Seungcheol. Promise me you won't kill me… because I swear to you, I'm okay. And I also swear to you, I’d haunt the fucking shit out of you.”

“Nobody's gonna kill you.” Seungcheol promised, and Jihoon felt like he could breathe for the first time in months.

 

_“I think you've officially become the biggest loser in your grade.” Seungcheol laughed. Wonwoo just groaned._

_“I'm just taking an hour out of my day three times a week tutor morons. How is that being a loser?”_

_“You're bragging that you're smart. Seriously, if I wasn't your friend, you'd have your head in a toilet right now.” Seungcheol said. Jihoon rolled his eyes, and Seungcheol caught it, “Oh please. You'd probably be the one putting his head in the toilet.”_

_Wonwoo and Jihoon exchanged a look, and Jihoon just shrugged. Wonwoo glanced down at the paper again, rereading the name over and over, “Who the hell is Kim Mingyu?” He asked. Seungcheol shrugged and Jun tried to think._

_Jihoon was the one who spoke up. “If I'm thinking of the same Kim Mingyu, he doesn't need tutoring at all. He used to be in the music club, but he had a huge growth spurt that made him six-foot-fucking-eighty and the basketball team needed him.”_

_“Oh, yeah, you got denied a spot on the team because you're what, four feet tall?” Seungcheol joked but Jihoon punched him on the shoulder._

_Jun suddenly remembered, “I think this guy’s also friends with Minghao. I mean… I know all of Minghao’s friends considering I am literally a third of Minghao’s friends, but I never met the guy.”_

_“Whoever he is, he's late.” Wonwoo glanced at the clock. 4:24._

_“Eh, fuck him.” Seungcheol said, getting up from off the table, “I say we go get food now.”_

_“Give him another minute.” Jun pressed, “He seems sweet from what Hao’s told me.”_

_Just then a tall, tanned, handsome boy seemed to have attempted to silently rush into the school library, three bags around his shoulders and arms, making so much noise without trying to that it was confusing as to how a librarian hadn't scolded him yet. He picked out Wonwoo right away and Wonwoo could only stare back as he dropped all three bags before straightening out. Handsome was an understatement. The boy was attractive as hell. His eyes were big and shone bright like the stars, and held a hint of childishness in them still. An innocence. His smile was wicked charming yet amazingly pure. It wasn't the most perfect smile or set of teeth but it was… cute. His lips were moving but Wonwoo didn't even know what he was saying. His hair was another story: pure black locks parted towards one side and styled neatly to show off his acne-free forehead. His skin even gave off a beautiful glow, and Wonwoo assumed he took care of it really well. He looked so warm, so inviting, and so amazingly friendly that he just seemed like the type you could tell all your deepest secrets to without judgement and it just added to the perfection that was Kim Mingyu. His muscles were more noticeable because of Mingyu’s rolled up sleeves and god damn it was hot. Sophomores weren't supposed to be that hot. It was damn near illegal._

_Um, well, it wasn't like Wonwoo thought so, because he wasn't gay. But Mingyu was probably every girl's wet dream._

_Fingers snapped in Wonwoo’s face,  “Wonnie? You there?” Jun asked and Wonwoo snapped out of it, “He said ‘sorry for being late’, and now you reply with…”_

_“Perfect.” Wonwoo said, with such confidence, too. Seungcheol snorted and Wonwoo saw Mingyu smile awkwardly, not knowing how to take it, “-ly fine. Perfectly fine, we still have a ton of time." He smiled at him reassuringly._

_“Did... Jeon Wonwoo just smile?” Jihoon asked aloud._

_“I think he just did… what the hell?” Seungcheol replied._

_Jun laughed and then gathered himself back up to say, “You’re Minghao’s friend, right?” Mingyu nodded, “See, I was right. Listen Wonnie, Minghao likes this one, so he must be pretty damn special. Plus… he’s also got the patience to deal with Minghao’s attitude so he must be extra special. So be nice.” he turned to Wonwoo and patted him on the shoulder once before leaving. Seungcheol and Jihoon just gave Wonwoo the_ look _indicating that they knew he was already whipped for the boy. But that certainly didn't mean that he was gay, because Jun was whipped for Minghao and neither one of them were gay. And Wonwoo certainly wasn't either._

_When they were alone, Mingyu sat next to him instead of across for him like Wonwoo had anticipated and he got a strong whiff of the kids cologne, “That's funny how you guys are Minghao’s friends. Um, so should we get started? My English kind of sucks, and so does my history, so…” it was the first time he heard the kids voice, but even that messed with Wonwoo’s head._

_“Smells good.” oh fuck, “Sounds good. Sounds. I--oh my god.”_

_Mingyu just laughed, “Rough day?”_

_“Yeah, but it's fine. I'm still good for this.” wow, okay, good job, Wonwoo. You can talk to him without sounding like an idiot. Keep doing that, “Which one do you want to start with?”_

_“I have an English test tomorrow so maybe English?”_

_“You have a test tomorrow and you come for help the day before?”_

_Mingyu started to resemble a kicked puppy and Wonwoo immediately felt bad, “Yeah?”_

_Wonwoo laughed and Mingyu relaxed again. He decided not to get on his case about it and just prepared himself for the worst, “Alright, let's get started. If you still want to make this a full hour, even though you're late… I've got nothing else planned afterwards so if you have nothing planned either… we can just kinda… keep going.”_

_“Really? That'd be okay?” Mingyu said, shocked. Wonwoo nodded without looking at him. He wanted to seem cool, not dorky, “Wow, I have a feeling you're going to be the one tutor that won't give up on me!”_

_“I guess we'll see.” Wonwoo mumbled, but he already made up his mind. He would never give up on Kim Mingyu. … not that he was gay, or anything._

 

Mingyu was too nice to start out, but then again, he was always way too nice to have to deal with Wonwoo’s constant verbal attacks. He handed Wonwoo the cigarettes gently and didn't even get mad when Wonwoo snapped that they were the wrong ones.

“That's all I found.” Mingyu said softly, “Will they do?”

Wonwoo sat up, “I suppose.” he grumbled, “What are you even doing here.” it wasn't really a question, and Mingyu wasn't sure if he should answer or not, so he stayed quiet until Wonwoo looked at him with an eyebrow raised, “What are you doing here.” He demanded again.

“Josh told me you wanted cigarettes. Minghao and I were going out for other resources and I found some.” Mingyu said, quickly pulling out a lighter and holding the flame out in front of Wonwoo. Wonwoo leaned over, cigarette already between his lips and let Mingyu light it for him.

“Thank you.” Wonwoo said, quiet enough that Mingyu almost didn't hear it, “They're actually not that bad. Good job."

Mingyu caught the slight smile and it made him feel slightly warmer, “I wish you would have been with me when this happened… I would have stopped it.” He glanced downwards towards Wonwoo’s thigh. It was getting better, but Mingyu still felt horrible.

Wonwoo looked at his own thigh and poked his finger through the slit in his jeans where the knife went through, “You were too busy telling people how much you hate me.” Wonwoo said casually, ignoring the offended look on Mingyu’s face and leaving the wound alone, “You can't deny you said it. Hansol told me since apparently everyone else is thinking the same thing. I'm not stupid. I know everyone hates me… I just didn't think you were included in that ‘everyone’.” He sounded hurt, Mingyu noted. He never sounded hurt.

“... I just said I couldn't stand you.” Mingyu whispered, not looking him in the eye.

“It's the same thing, Mutt.”

Mingyu’s eyes suddenly locked with his, the nickname making him suddenly angry, “Maybe if you didn't relate me to a dog every fucking day, I wouldn't have said it. I didn't mean it, first of all. But if I did, how could you blame me for it?”

Wonwoo grew silent, putting the cigarette back between his lips and blew smoke slowly to give himself more time to think about his next move, “I can't.”

“That's all you got?” Mingyu huffed in exasperation, “You're unbelievable. You know what, Wonwoo? You've fucking changed. I mean, of course everyone's changed but you… you've gone too far. I get it, the old Wonwoo is dead, well guess what? So is the old Mingyu. I'm not an idiot that you have to tutor in every single subject. I'm not an idiot at all! I know you're hurting, both emotionally and now physically but what I fail to understand is _why_ you keep pushing me away! Wonwoo...” Mingyu quickly glanced around for sign of Jun, “You told me you loved me… how the hell could you treat someone you love like this?”

Why the hell was he like this? Why couldn't he just apologize to Mingyu, for real this time, and tell him all of his deepest secrets? Because Mingyu wouldn't judge...

Wonwoo took a deep breath, “You're right.” was all he could say, because Mingyu was completely right, “Mingyu, you're right. I'm sorry.” He went to take his hand, but Mingyu pulled away immediately, “Please, let me make it up to you.”

“How? We've done the same song and dance a billion times. You're gonna apologize, I'm gonna forgive you, and everything's gonna be okay for three minutes and you'll go right back to treating me like shit. I've become a freaking damsel in distress, Wonwoo, it's like I need a prince to come rescue me from a fire breathing dragon! You're a _fire breathing dragon, Wonwoo_ , I can't say anything without you getting all fired up!”

“That was a nice comparison, but am I fired up right now?” Wonwoo asked calmly, trying to give himself more time to come up with something to say. He really, really couldn't lose Mingyu. He needed to reel him back in and make it all better. Mingyu didn't say anything for a while. He just looked at him, hopeless.

“You're not getting the point…” Mingyu said brokenly, “You're never gonna grow out of this, are you? This absolute need to destroy me?”

“I don't want to destroy you, Gyu… please, just sit down.” He patted the table next to the couch he was on. It seemed sturdy enough.

“No.”

“Please, baby? I won't bullshit you this time, I promise. I'm not the dragon.” Wonwoo looked up at him, trying to show how serious he truly was but Mingyu didn't budge.

“I think I just need to… I need to go right now.” Mingyu said softly.

“No. Please don't leave until you listen. Give me ten minutes.”

Mingyu shook his head, “I just need to go for a little bit.”

“Mingyu--”

“I don't know why you're so worried. I always come back, right?” Mingyu asked sadly, “Just like a fucking dog, right? Enjoy the cigarettes. You're welcome.”

 

******

 

Jun gave Wonwoo the okay to walk two days later. He returned, with a limp, to the main camp area and noticed that the group looked so much smaller. Wonwoo did a headcount: Seungcheol, Seokmin, Hansol, Jeonghan, Jun, himself, Jihoon, Joshua… and Mingyu and Minghao were nowhere to be seen. When Joshua and Seokmin went out the front doors to go on a resource hunt, it made the group look even smaller. Six boys stood together. Wonwoo hated it.

Seungcheol actually welcomed him back, and it made Wonwoo feel good. Maybe Seungcheol wouldn't hate him forever. Maybe Wonwoo should apologize…

No. Not right now.

He just stood back and watched everyone go on without him. Jihoon was the only one besides Seungcheol to notice him, but instead of being as welcoming as Seungcheol, he looked a little scared. He had a wild look in his eyes and Wonwoo couldn’t remember ever scaring him at all. Was it shock? Wonwoo wasn’t sure, but he offered Jihoon a quick smile, only for Jihoon to stare blankly back at him, and then return to his task at hand. He wasn’t making arrows or weapons anymore. He seemed to be making something else, but Wonwoo wasn’t sure what it could possibly be. He didn’t even care, quite frankly. Jeonghan stuck with Hansol and Wonwoo could hear a little bit of the one sided conversation.

“You know, Hansol… it’s all going to get better eventually.” Jeonghan said, “I’ll be by your side, okay? Everyone is.” it seemed as though Jeonghan was just repeating a speech he heard from someone else, because Wonwoo could tell Jeonghan was having a hard time nowadays making up his own mind and having his individual thoughts. He just blindly followed now, because he didn’t know what else to do. Wonwoo watched them all for a couple hours, only realizing how much time went by from seeing Seokmin and Joshua come back from their resource hunt.

 

And then all Hell broke loose for a few minutes.

The earth began to rumble. The boys all paused and looked around them. Light fixtures threatened to fall and shatter, and the building would surely collapse. Seungcheol hesitantly averted his eyes away from the hanging lights to turn to Jeonghan, “Get out. Get out _now._ ”

“No, no no no. No, I'm not getting out and having you not follow me!” Jeonghan whimpered, eyes wide and hands reaching out for him.

“I'll be right behind you, please!” Seungcheol shouted, echoing around the whole mall and causing the first window to shatter due to the rumbles now mixed with his voice.

“ _Jun!!”_ Minghao screamed from somewhere in the mall, and Jun wasted no time running up the broken escalator to find him while Jihoon, Hansol, Joshua, Seokmin and Jeonghan ran out with everything they could quickly grab.

Wonwoo suddenly froze, “Mingyu…” he darted up to Seungcheol and grabbed him by the front of the shirt, “Where the fuck is Mingyu!”

“With Minghao!” Seungcheol growled, already running with him towards where Jun went.

Jun checked every single store in the mall, “Minghao!” he screamed, “Hao!” He felt the floors start to shake and give way and he cried out a “Fuck!” before quickening his pace. Another broken window, and then another scream, but it didn't sound like Minghao. It was much deeper.

Mingyu.

Wonwoo was on that scream faster than anything. He quickly changed direction and went towards the stupid Hollister store Mingyu was obsessed with as fast as he could on a messed up leg. He heard growls and grunts and his stomach dropped when he realized they were coming from where he was heading, “No, no, no, please, God, no!”

He caught a glimpse of Jun running full speed in the same direction then, gun in hand and ready to fire.

“Hao!” he heard Jun scream from up ahead now. Then two gunshots. Wonwoo got the shotgun ready, still running. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Lights started to fall in the middle section, going straight into the ground floor tiles. The ground shook even more violently, but he was finally at that Hollister.

“Mingyu-ah…” Wonwoo called out hesitantly. His gut told him it was too late but his heart told him to keep going. He heard mumbling and rambling, “Junhui…. Hao?”

“I-In here, Wonwoo…” Jun called out, “Coast is clear.” Wonwoo picked up his pace and found the two Chinese boys, Jun kneeling next to Minghao curled up in a corner on the floor with blood all over him, “I… I can't find Mingyu.” Wonwoo turned to Minghao, expecting an answer, but the boy only started crying in his hands and shook his head.

“No…” Wonwoo muttered, ransacking the whole store and screaming his name. He heard booms outside and the lights inside the dim lit store started to go. He screamed his name again. He stopped when he heard hissing. He had stupid tears in his eyes again when he listened for it and shot at it the second he saw movement. He headed towards the dressing rooms.

“Mingyu-ah… please…” he called out desperately. If only he told him how sorry he was and why he was so sorry. If only he didn't make him mad enough to storm off with Minghao. If only he never started degrading him and humiliating him. If only he didn't lash out and bottle everything up and instead opening up and showing his sensitive side. If only he told him how much he loved him. If only.

He kicked the first dressing room door in frustration and let out a small sob. At that, a humanlike creature crawled out of the next one. It took all Wonwoo’s strength to pull out the shotgun and kill it. When it was dead, he found himself crying again. If this thing got Mingyu, he would shoot himself. Then he kicked the third dressing room door and jumped back.

There was Mingyu, curled up the same way Minghao was on the bench, head resting on his knees and hugging himself, jumping up with wide eyes when he heard his door fly open.

“Gyu--" Wonwoo choked out, walking towards him with his arms stretched out, and Mingyu stopped hugging himself to hug Wonwoo instead. Wonwoo collapsed to his knees and cried into Mingyu’s chest, “Answer me when I call you!” he sobbed.

Mingyu couldn't remember Wonwoo ever crying in front of him before. He was still overcoming his shock, so he just mumbled an “I'm sorry” and stroked his hair. Wonwoo  picked his head up and ran his hands through Mingyu’s hair. It started to feel nice and soft again ever since the taller boy started raiding the bath stores and using leave in conditioners. Mingyu took in a shaky breath, and started to speak, “There was a couple… I-I lost my gun somewhere and they ditched Hao to chase me. And if you hadn't... I… I just… I don't know what I was thinking… I should have never left--"

“Shh…” Wonwoo stood up, “It's my fault.”

Mingyu started to tear up, realization finally hitting him and he stood up to wrap his arms tight around Wonwoo’s smaller frame. The whole mall shook and the lights went out.

“Wonwoo! Come on!” Jun shouted. Wonwoo’s mind snapped back into reality and he took Mingyu’s hand before rushing out of the dressing rooms to meet Jun. The two Chinese boys immediately started running once they saw them emerge at full speed, “Exits this way!” Jun called over his shoulder.

Seungcheol had killed seven zombies in hand to hand combat ever since he and Wonwoo got separated. He figured if he warded them off down there, they'd be safer up on the second floor. He caught a glimpse of four people running and decided that seven kills was good enough before catching up to meet them. Wonwoo caught a glimpse of something moving around like a monkey, swinging from broken light fixtures and railings to try to cut them off. Then another one on the other side. These early stage zombies were something else. He heard Jun fire his gun multiple times, trying to get a headshot at something from behind. Wonwoo took the risk of looking behind him to realize they were surrounded. Wonwoo reached around to get his shotgun and (stupidly) fired with one hand. The recoil knocked it out of his hand and Mingyu tripped at the same time, falling to the ground.

“Run, you fucking bastard!” Wonwoo screamed, tears still in his eyes. His mind started to recall the first time he almost lost him and was determined he wasn't losing him today. Not ever.

Mingyu scrambled up, totally not balanced but at least running as Wonwoo dragged him along.

 

Outside, Jeonghan knew that it was taking way too long to just collect Minghao and Mingyu. Joshua kept talking but he stopped listening a few minutes ago. The building was really starting to crumble, and Jeonghan was tired of just waiting.

“Listen, Han. If Seungcheol doesn't make it--"

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up.” Jeonghan cut Hansol off with enough bite to keep him silent. It was the first time in ages Hansol talked, but Jeonghan didn't care. Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“Stop acting like you still care.” Jeonghan turned to face him, shocked. Jihoon continued, “If all five die, what are we going to do? Continue to survive. Or at least...try. And you, Hannie, just by default, are the new leader. So stop acting like you're some kind of god damned, innocent, pure little angel that gives a fuck about whether Cheol dies or not. That angel in you died with Chan. And so did your common fucking sense, so we’re fucked with you as our leader.” It was true that Jeonghan toughened up after Chan. He didn't get fazed by death as much and he started to learn how to survive on his own, but _fuck_ , Jihoon was so _wrong_.

Jeonghan shook his head, “No. I'm getting him.” Seokmin was two seconds too slow to stop him from running back into the building.

“God _dammit!_ ” Joshua shouted before running inside after him, convinced he could easily just pull him back out of the building.

When Seungcheol emerged out of the building three minutes later with the other four, he did a small headcount.

“Where's Jeonghan and Josh?” Seungcheol demanded. Seokmin pointed weakly towards the big building that just started to catch on fire. He turned, looking at the mall with wide eyes. No, this was not happening. Jeonghan wasn't that stupid to go back inside to look for him. He went to rush back in but Jihoon held him back.

Seungcheol was ready to shoot him until the shorter boy explained, “The buildings about to collapse! We gotta go, now!”

He heard a shout from the inside and his eyes went wide again. He saw it. He saw Joshua dragging Jeonghan out of the mall as fast as he could with pieces of ceiling and glass falling all around him. He saw the determination in their eyes to get out of there as the entire building started to go all at once. Then suddenly Josh stopped short and covered his head as the entire building went down around him, blocking their exit and Seungcheol’s view. He felt Jihoon tugging at his arm but he couldn't tear himself away. He screamed out Jeonghan’s name, then Josh's. He got no reply.

Then the building started to shoot out flames. It rumbled and cracked, and Seungcheol finally tore himself away and barely managed to make it a safe distance before the entire thing exploded. He just stayed on the ground after the force of the explosion knocked him down to his knees. Those two were just so fucking close. And if Jeonghan just listened…

Wonwoo was still a sensitive mess, and losing Jeonghan and Josh made him start crying all over again, into Mingyu’s chest, just imagining it was Mingyu that was still in the building instead. Jun was silent as Minghao clung to him. Hansol and Seokmin studied each other just in case of injury and Jihoon finally made an attempt to comfort Seungcheol.

Seungcheol allowed Jihoon to touch his shoulder and murmur about how there was nothing he could have done for them and that if anyone were to take the blame, it'd be himself for the things he said. But Seungcheol didn't blame him. The other two made the choices they did. He allowed Jihoon to help him stand and did a final head count. They were down to eight.

“Where to?”

“Hotel down the road. Maybe it's still somewhat okay…” Jihoon said. Seungcheol nodded, “Okay?”

“Yeah let's go.”


	9. "Be Careful What You Wish For."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death, panic, and some bad decisions.

Minghao put himself on Hansol duty to give himself something to do. Mingyu and Wonwoo were inseparable again, like they were before the apocalypse, and Jun was with Seokmin doing… whatever it was that Seokmin and Jun did, so he kind of felt alone. He took Hansol with him on an adventure trip around the hotel since it was their first day there. Hansol answered the yes/no questions, and shrugged for everything else. Minghao had to pretend everything was normal and he hated it.

He didn’t understand what he did wrong when he turned away for four seconds, only to hear a gunshot go off and see Hansol lying on the floor, blood splattered against the wall, floor, and the side of his head. Why would Hansol do such a thing? Minghao did everything in his power to try to make him comfortable and kept such a close eye on him. Where did he even find a gun?

Minghao shocked himself because he didn’t even scream. He barely even reacted, because his mind just refused to believe it happened. He walked over calmly and knelt down besides the boy, “Hansol? What are you doing? Come on, dude. Wake up.” He said, comfortingly. “Wake up, Hansol.” He added, slightly more concerned. He leaned down and listened for a heartbeat, to feel his chest rise or fall, anything. When he sat upright and looked at the scene for a few more seconds, everything finally dawned on him. He started to panic, “Hey, Hansol! Wake up!” He felt tears in his eyes, knowing he fucked up big time. This wasn’t a small fuck up, like he was used to doing and accepting punishment for. He cost someone their life by not paying attention. He ran his hands, covered in Hansol’s blood, through his hair and gripped at the ends, “Fuck, fuck, no, Hansol, I didn’t mean--why did you--Hansol! Come on, dude! Wake up!” His voice broke.

He assumed he was getting loud, considering the frantic footsteps he heard coming up the stairs and down the hall towards where he was, and he started to panic more. Minghao wasn’t only panicking because Hansol was dead, but because he was absolutely terrified just thinking about what would happen to him. Would Seungcheol kill him as some sort of sick revenge? Would he make him suffer for what he’s done? Kick him out?

He locked his fingers together and pressed down on Hansol’s chest in a useless attempt to revive him with CPR. Minghao didn't even know CPR, but Hansol _couldn’t die_. If he died, Minghao was going to be better off dead.

Seungcheol rushed in to see Minghao’s hands covered in Hansol’s blood, shaking the body and screaming at him that he was sorry and it wasn’t funny anymore, and that he should just wake up. Seungcheol ripped him up and away from Hansol’s body and his back collided with the opposite wall with so much force, Minghao was certain that this was the end for him. Seungcheol didn’t scream or shake the body like Minghao did since he already knew there was no use.

Instead, he picked up the gun that Hansol shot himself with and turned to Minghao, “ _The_ _one fucking time I give you some responsibility, you kill someone!_ ” He screamed, pointing the gun at him. Minghao’s eyes widened and he couldn’t bring himself to speak. He just stared at the gun. This was it.

Seungcheol lowered the gun and took in a deep breath, “I'm not gonna shoot you. Can't shoot a zombie, what makes you think I could shoot you?”

“You're not saying you wouldn't.” Minghao said quietly, slowly standing up again, “I turned my back for one second, I swear…”

“Of course you did.” Seungcheol grumbled, looking at the body, “I'm sure you didn't know there even was a gun.”

“I have no idea where he got it--”

“Shut the fuck UP!” Seungcheol shouted, and Minghao shut his mouth immediately, “God fucking dammit, Hao! I’m getting real sick of babysitting you! You’re completely fucking useless now! Can’t even cheer someone up!? Huh?” He didn’t look at him, even when Seungcheol got up in his face, “Why don’t you keep your pretty little head down, stay quiet, and be Jun’s little pet from now on? Stay the fuck away from everyone else!”

Jun ran in almost immediately afterwards, making Minghao jump, “What the hell’s going on?”

“Nothing, Hansol's dead.” Seungcheol said bitterly, “Not like he cares.” he pointed the gun at Minghao for a split second and then lowered it again, “Get out.”

“Huh?”

“Both of you, get the fuck out!” Seungcheol shouted and it caused enough of a surprise in both boys to send them out of the hallway. When he was alone he dropped to his knees next to the dead boy, tossing the gun carelessly onto the floor.

“I'm sorry, Hansol-ah. Not like apologizing will help. I've failed all of you, I know I have. But who am I to keep you in a world like this? Are you with Seungkwan?” He started to cry, “Tell me what's better, Hansol. Is it life or death? Can you give me a sign or something, because I need to know if it's worth feeling this way. Is it worth all the suffering we're going through? Not knowing who's going to die next?” It wasn't like Seungcheol expected a reply, but the silence made it all worse. He buried his face in Hansol's chest and knew he was weak for acting like this. He knew he was being terrible to those who looked up to him. He cried, knowing that he was leading them all to certain death.

The weather was oddly warm after being cold for so long, but when Seungcheol asked what he did, he felt a cold chill flow through the hall. Then a stronger breeze came through, and it caused the gun to spin, barrel facing Seungcheol, “It's better…” Seungcheol muttered, “isn't it...”

A final cool breeze came from the hallway and right out the broken window of the room right next to them, making the ratty curtains convulse and twist around the glass shards. Hansol was free of worry.

 

“Don't let him make you convince yourself it was your fault. Hansol made a choice.” Jun said as they walked down the stairs, “Seungcheol is just losing it because of Jeonghan and he has to blame someone.” Minghao didn’t answer, “Hao, it was just his time to go. This whole thing is bringing out the worst in all of us and some just aren’t going to make it to see it get better. It’s okay, Hao. He made a decision and as much as Seungcheol wants to put you down, it has nothing to do with you.” Jun heard him sniffle and he put his arm around him, “Please try to make it, though. For me. You may feel like you’re not doing anything right but… hell, you’re the reason I’m still alive.”

Minghao didn’t care anymore. He listened to what Seungcheol said. From then on, he kept his pretty little head down, shut up, and stuck to Jun’s side like a lost puppy, because that’s all he could really do at that point.

*****

Seungcheol simply watched as the blood washed off his hands and into the dirt and soil. The rain had been a constant ever since they managed to score the hotel as a shelter. He stood out in the downpours, trying to rid himself of the blood on his clothes and skin. Even though it was December, the apocalypse liked to fuck Mother Nature around and leave her confused, not knowing what season it should have been. The rainfall was cold and sharp, and it contrasted with the hot and sticky temperatures from inside the hotel. Jihoon watched from the door frame with a couple towels, acting as Seungcheol’s right hand man.

“What do we do with the body?” Jihoon asked after Seungcheol stood motionless for a couple minutes. Hansol's body remained where he died two days ago, and the smell was driving Jihoon up a wall.

“Just leave it.”

“It smells. Look, Cheol. There's no more food. Everything we had blew up in the mall with fuckin’ ….” Jihoon caught Seungcheol’s glare, “We need more shit, is what I'm trying to say.”

“Okay.”

“Do your job for once. Lead the fucking group, will you?”

“Okay.” Seungcheol said, anger rising. Jihoon raised an eyebrow and Seungcheol sighed, “I don't know what's gotten into me. I almost killed Minghao the other day…. I'll go out. Hold on.”

“I'll go with you.”

“No. Stay. I need a mentally stable person manning down the fort and well… you're close enough.” Seungcheol said, “I'll go alone.”

“Now I _know_ you're trying to kill yourself.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, following him into the hotel, “Or you're trying to find Jeonghan and see if he's alive.”

Seungcheol stayed quiet for a while, “And Joshua, of course.”

“They're dead, Cheol. I'm sorry, but get over it. You saw that beam snap Josh like a damn toothpick.” Seungcheol winced, “I'm sorry.”

“Tell Seokmin to come with me.”

Jihoon kept his comments about not appreciating the fact he was Seungcheol’s messenger now to himself, and found Seokmin instantly. Raiders were almost a guaranteed threat now, since they dropped in numbers so drastically and the fact that the zombies weren't as common. Seokmin wasn't the _best_ defence, if he could qualify for being a defence at all, but he was another body. Seungcheol could let himself think he could handle anything, Jihoon told himself, but he is going to kill himself with that type of thinking.

 

Nonetheless, Seokmin met Seungcheol by the exit. He was visibly nervous, knowing the dangers that waited, but he continued to follow Seungcheol. He trusted Seungcheol, not like he had a definite reason to other than ‘He's my leader and he's older. Also, he's kind of always been there for me’. And sure, Seungcheol was there for all of them, back when life was normal.

Seungcheol heard a scream and he stopped. He turned to Seokmin, who seemed to have heard the scream as well. Seungcheol knew who that scream sounded like, but he knew he was just too desperate at that point. Jeonghan was dead, and he was going to drive himself crazy if he kept thinking he was alive. He remembered Joshua’s book and how easily it was for zombies to manipulate people, so he ignored his heart and went with his gut. Seungcheol shouted over the rain, “I don't want to go near that.”

“Me neither. Hey, I think there should be stuff over this hill.” Seokmin said, pointing in the opposite direction of the scream, “I would prepare for a jumpscare. Raiders are everywhere.” He heard Seokmin load his gun behind him and he looked around. Seungcheol turned to watch him in particular. He changed so much, and Seungcheol wished he could do something so Seokmin could return to his free spirited self. He didn't want him to have to load guns and save himself in an apocalypse.

The area was just broken pavement and wrecked buildings. There were phone lines and wires down, and Seungcheol could tell the wires were still dangerous by the way they sparked and sizzled. He pulled Seokmin closer to him, “Watch the wires and puddles.” He said, loud enough for Seokmin to hear but quiet enough for the rain to make it deaf to anything nearby. He didn't even know he was still holding Seokmin's hand until Seokmin stopped moving and his body jerked backwards. Seokmin gripped his hand tight and stared into a building to the left of him. Now, that wasn't good.

Seungcheol walked closer to him and followed his gaze but he couldn't find anything, “What are you looking at?” Seokmin was frozen in horror, but he started to mumble. Seungcheol couldn't catch any of it. He stepped forward, towards the building Seokmin couldn't look away from and suddenly felt Seokmin pull him back, closer to him.

“They're fast ones. Easily triggered. Back away slowly, Cheol…” Seokmin whispered, so gentle.

Having Seokmin around definitely wasn't a bad thing, Seungcheol thought.

Seokmin started to back up, one step at a time and waiting a couple seconds in between. He could feel Seungcheol jump when a rock was thrown and he held him closer, “They want you to run. Don't do it.” Seokmin whispered, “Trust me.” Seungcheol wanted to run, but he knew Seokmin knew what he was doing. He saw one zombie emerge, spider like on all fours and study them. Seokmin froze instantly. It growled from the steps of the building and another came into the light, hissing at the brightness as it covered it's eyes. They looked as though they suffered severe burns all over their body, in heat insanely high enough to burn their clothes. Red and black splotches covered their bodies and char seemed to chip off their arms and legs as they crawled towards them.

“Okay, this isn't good… On three, we turn and run. Run, Cheol, don't look back. Zig zag if you have to.” Seungcheol nodded, watching how the two zombies studied them, “One.”

The first zombie hissed while the second growled.

“Two.”

Seungcheol held Seokmin's hand tightly and Seokmin gripped his hand back. Seokmin stayed quiet for a long time and Seungcheol was wondering if they were going to run at all. He heard Seokmin take a deep breath when the first zombie looked behind, towards the building it came from. He waited for the second to do the same.

“Three!!” he shouted and nearly ripped Seungcheol’s arm out of the socket, taking off in a full sprint before Seungcheol even registered what was going on. He heard a scream, and then Seokmin shout, “Don't look back!” And all thoughts of turning around escape his mind. He focused on what was ahead of him. He _ran_.

 

Jihoon’s heart broke when Minghao rummaged through the remaining bits of food they had. He hadn’t eaten since Hansol’s death, hadn’t even said a word since it happened, but now Jihoon could see him practically begging with his eyes. He was already so skinny and he couldn't risk missing a meal. He knew Seungcheol dealt with this on a daily basis and he wasn't sure how he did it, because he wanted to magically produce a whole eight course meal for Minghao. He tried for the longest time to distance himself from the others, but he couldn't help it anymore. He wanted to be attached again. He wanted to love them all again. More importantly, he wanted to protect what was left of his family, “I'm so sorry, Hao.” Jihoon said quietly, “If you go to sleep, there's a good chance there will be food when you wake up.”

Minghao couldn't sleep. He was an insomniac now. He yawned at the thought of sleep, tears prickling his eyes as he did so, and then buried his face in his hands. His stomach rumbled as he laid down on the floor next to Jihoon, trying to get comfortable. He ignored his stomach as much as he could and curled up into a ball to try to sleep.

Jihoon looked around. He noticed Wonwoo staring him down, “ _What._ ”

“You're a good liar.”

Jihoon sighed, “You know what I regret most? _Not_ shoving you into a locker in high school.”

“They're not finding food.” Wonwoo said simply, limping his way over to Jihoon, “They're lucky if they come back. The weather is making everything dangerous because zombies like heat.”

“You're crippled, Minghao is starving, Mingyu is a moron--"

“Hey.”

Jihoon glared at him before continuing, “Jun is getting sick from Hansol’s body fumes, and the two that left are in the best condition. They have a better shot. Besides, if I called the shots I would have kept Seokmin in charge but Cheol does what he wants.”

Wonwoo shrugged and stayed quiet for a while. Then he asked, “You don't think…” he went quiet again, and Jihoon picked his head up to look at him.

“Think what?”

Wonwoo looked back at him, “You don't think Cheol is keeping Hansol where he is in case we, uh, run out of food… do you?”

Jihoon kept his poker face, “You're a moron.” Wonwoo put his head back down and went silent again, “What, no comeback? Come on, give me your best shot.”

“No, you're right. I just freaked myself out.”

Jihoon stared at him, “Mingyu nearly dying made you soft.” Wonwoo just shrugged, “Don't you hate him?”

Wonwoo shook his head, “I don't hate him.”

“Well, obviously. Something in you changed…” Jihoon wagged his finger at him, “It's no bueno. With you going soft and this precious sweetheart crying every five minutes,” he looked at Minghao, who was pretending to sleep, “I don't know how we're gonna make it much longer. You both did the dirty work.”

Wonwoo looked down at Minghao, “It's not good to always have us do it, you know. You say he cries about everything now, well, look at what we made him do. He was a psychopath to begin with but going out with us… he couldn't handle it. Seungcheol really fucked him up the night Hansol died, too. Trust me, I had to hear it from Jun. But God, everyone's mental health is so deteriorated. Like, look at what Jeonghan was like… he lost his fucking mind, dude. Might as well all be fucking zombies. Or fucking... dead.”

“Be careful what you wish for.” Jihoon grumbled.

“I know, I know.”

Jihoon stayed quiet for a few more seconds, then spoke up again, “God. You're defending Minghao now, too? You really did get soft.”

“Fuck off. I'm still better than Cheol.”

“Watch what you say about--” Jihoon heard footsteps running towards the hotel and cut himself off. He stood and grabbed his bow, loaded an arrow, and peeked outside. When he saw a flicker of movement dart behind the closest wall, he broke a window five feet away just to make a point.

“You short little psychopath, it's us!” Seungcheol shouted from the other side

“Why are you hiding?” Wonwoo asked.

“Cause Jihoon came out guns ablazing. I don't trust him.” Seokmin said, out of breath as he came around the corner of the building.

“Told you they wouldn't come back with anything.” Wonwoo sighed, “Hao’s starving.”

“We all are.” Seokmin snapped, “We just almost got fucking eaten, so I don't wanna hear it.”

“Okay, um, _attitude_. Tone it down.” Wonwoo said.

“Yeah, you're one to talk.” Seokmin rolled his eyes, “I was running on a sprained ankle. I'm in pain and pissed off.” He sighed, “Where's Jun?”

Wonwoo lazily pointed to the inside of the hotel. Seokmin pushed past him and Seungcheol didn't say a word. Jihoon turned to him, though, and silently pushed him into saying something. He rolled his eyes, “We ran into some of them. Got out of there as quick as we could and he said we can try the other way.”

Jihoon nodded, “Okay. I'll tag in.”

“I. Need. You. Here.” Seungcheol said with enough venom in his voice to shut him up, “Besides, he's fine.”

“Doesn't seem too fine.” Wonwoo said.

Seungcheol bit his tongue, not wanting to start a fight. Jun came outside instead of Seokmin. He didn't explain himself; he just loaded Seokmin's gun and cocked his head to the side, signalling Seungcheol to follow.

“Yeah. So much for him being fine.” Jihoon said quietly as Seungcheol passed him. He didn't answer.

Wonwoo and Jihoon glanced at each other and silently agreed to check on Seokmin in a few minutes, letting him calm down a little.

 

Jun didn't say anything about Seokmin or why he traded places with him, and Seungcheol didn't ask. In reality, Seungcheol didn't care who he went with as long as it wasn't Jihoon. Jihoon was the closest thing to a reliable second choice for leader that they had. He had to stay where he was safe, and Seungcheol worried about him even more considering he knew he was already bitten. He needed to keep him in one spot and around sane people, just in case another zombie set him off or something. It was all a guessing game.

“You need to get that body out of there, Cheol.” Jun said after twenty minutes of pure silence.

“I'm working on it. I don't know how to get it out yet."

“I'll burn it if I have to. Just find a way to put the flames out, because I can't stand it…” Jun stopped talking when Seungcheol put a hand in front of his chest. He listened intently and looked around. Seungcheol heard leaves crunching and Jun focused on a flickering light ahead. Seungcheol turned to Jun.

“On a scale of one to ten, how willing are you to become a raider?” he whispered.

“I'm a medic. I help people, not hurt them.” Jun whispered back.

“How hungry is Hao?”

He was starving. Minghao actually gave up a lot of what he got for Jun or Mingyu, thinking they needed it more than he did. Jun sighed, “I'm at a solid nine and a half right now.”

“That's more than good enough. Just… get whatever you can. Don't shoot unless they're armed.” They walked as quietly as they could over to the fire. Jun almost wanted to stay just because it was so warm. There was no one and Jun just thought maybe they went out for some more firewood, considering it was slowly dying. He quickly looked around with Seungcheol, finding waters and small packets of food.

“Jihoon better start hunting deer. We can't live off Lays.” Seungcheol nodded in agreement, but there were no deer. He knew Jun knew that, but he let him dream a little.

It was too easy, Jun thought. He ignored the little stuffed animal tucked in one of the backpacks and didn't even allow himself to think that they were stealing food from a parent and a child, or however the situation was. They went in and out, and didn't encounter anything on their way back to the hotel. Jun noticed the rotting body smell was getting worse, and he bothered Seungcheol about it again and was relieved when he actually called Mingyu over and went to go do something about it. With a sudden thunderstorm starting to pick up, Jun hoped they would finish up fast.

Jun went straight to Minghao and shook him awake, “Chips or goldfish?” Minghao stared at the two bags in front of him. Those were really the options at this point. He mouthed out a short ‘eenie meenie miney moe’ and caught Jun’s small smile before handing him what his finger landed on, the goldfish, “Make them last. I grabbed as much as I could but it only ended up being one per person.” Jun said and tossed a bag of Doritos Wonwoo’s way.

“I don't like these.”

“Tough shit.”

Wonwoo grumbled something to himself and Jun ignored it. They didn't have the luxury to be picky anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, has it really been over a month? Anyway I've had this little piece typed out for like two weeks and just never posted it. I felt like it should be redone over and over and I've edited a lot of it but it's still mostly the same, so I'm not sure why I was so hesitant on this part.  
> Anyways, I hope everyone's doing well and liking the story!


	10. "I Wasn't Ready To Die."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokmin has a secret, Mingyu is paranoid, and someone comes back from the dead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I want to start off by saying THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the positive feedback!! I love love love you all and how much you love this story!! Ahh it means so freaking much to me you guys have no idea. Anyways enjoy this super late chapter. :)

 

“Jun? Hey Jun?” Minghao’s soft voice along with his hands shaking his shoulder woke Jun up instantly, “Can we please…” his voice trailed off.

Jun sat up, “What's wrong?”

“I'm starving…” Minghao whispered, as if he wanted to keep the fact that he hadn't eaten anything but those goldfish two days ago, “Can I go with you to get food?”

“Let me wake up first. Then we can go, alright?” Jun asked, and Minghao nodded.

Minghao felt a sense of pride that Jun would let him do such a thing with him. He felt honored. Maybe Seungcheol and Wonwoo wouldn't call him useless if he helped Jun out more. He wanted to be helpful for once.

Before leaving, Jun wanted to check on Seokmin. He walked from the hotel bedroom he slept in last night towards the room two doors away, the closest room that wasn't absolutely destroyed. It was nice to pretend they stayed at a legit, five star hotel. Considering what they've been living in, the hotel was a nice upgrade. 

Jun didn't knock; he just walked right in and looked for Seokmin. He was relieved to find him right on the bed, “How's your--"

“Doesn't hurt.” Seokmin mumbled, “A little gross looking…”

Jun tilted his head, “Kind of looks like a hickey.” he smiled, but Seokmin only glared back, “Sorry.”

“Keep your voice down.”

“I'm sorry.” Jun stressed, “Trying to lighten the mood.”

“Tell them I broke my collarbone and get me some gauze, please. I'm trying to hide it, but I don't want to be locked up forever.”

“Gotcha. Broken collarbone.” He nodded, about to close the door behind him.

“And Jun?”

“Yeah?”

Seokmin paused, “Tell… Tell them to just let me rest, ‘kay? For a little while, at least.”

Jun nodded once more and closed the door. He went back later when he found the rest of the gauze wrap for Seokmin before finally going out with Minghao.

 

Mingyu let Jun’s “broken collarbone" excuse echo in his head even two hours after he said it. It didn't seem right. Seokmin’s original excuse was a sprained ankle, and now it was a broken collarbone. He respected Seokmin’s wishes and didn't barge in to see what was wrong, so he opted for just waiting outside the door instead. Seokmin told Mingyu everything. Having Jun relay a message that didn't even sound like something Seokmin would say… wasn't right.

Wonwoo watched Mingyu stare at the door, “What are you doing?”

Mingyu jumped, “You scared me.”

“Sorry. But seriously, what are you doing.” 

“Something's wrong with him.” Mingyu said quietly, then walked closer to Wonwoo, “Do you really believe Jun?”

Wonwoo shrugged, “It's kind of an odd thing to lie about, don't you think?”

Mingyu rolled his eyes, “Maybe for you and me, but come on. Jun’s lied about a lot recently. His whole ‘I help people, not hurt people’ motto and then going off and raiding from another group of survivors because ‘survival of the fittest’?”

“Hey, Jun is the one who saved me the troubles of needing my leg amputated. You might be getting a little paranoid.” Wonwoo almost laughed.

“I'm not paranoid!” Mingyu defended himself quickly. He calmed down before continuing, “You're the only person I feel like I can trust because … Seokmin is acting funny and hell you're right, Minghao is kind of unstable--"

“And mostly useless.”

“Right.” Mingyu nodded, “See…” he lowered his voice, “Seungcheol is still kind of under the impression that Jeonghan is still alive and Jihoon will defend him until the day he dies. So if Seungcheol has a mental breakdown we’re fucked. Like, what if Jeonghan is a total freaking zombie somewhere and he sees him and brings him back thinking he's all okay and then we all die because--"

“Where the hell is all this coming from, Gyu? You're starting to freak me out…” Wonwoo held both of Mingyu’s hands to try to make him relax. He was sweaty, “I think you've been hanging around Minghao too much. He's too paranoid, and its getting to you. Jeonghan is dead and Cheol is going to get over it. Jihoon is smart. Seokmin is probably fine. And you, Gyu, need to calm down.”

“I can't. Something's not right.” Mingyu shook his head.

Wonwoo sighed, “My gun is fully loaded. Stick by me. I'll protect you. Alright? Nothing bad’s gonna happen.”

“Okay…”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then just follow my lead. I'll figure something out.” Mingyu nodded, “And step away from Seokmin’s door. You're a stalker.”

 

There was nothing to even search for. It was stupid of Jun to agree to this. Minghao really tried, and searched absolutely everywhere; it broke Jun’s heart. He couldn't just tell him it was pretty much hopeless. He had to keep trying.

“Where the hell are we?” Jun asked. Minghao shrugged. 

“Looks like it was once a housing development. Apartments, maybe… there has to be something in there.” Minghao urged. Jun followed him in without protest. 

He forced the door open and gripped his gun tightly, “Stay close to me.” The complex was old and smelled like mold, but it kept them out of the wind, which was nice. Minghao's stomach knotted up in uncertainty. He felt like he was going to get attacked at any moment. 

“I'm not too sure about this, Jun…”

“This was your idea, Hao. Seems safe…” Jun started to tuck his gun away before he heard a shuffle from upstairs. The two boys turned to look at each other. Jun turned away first, and went to check it out, much to Minghao's dismay. He grabbed Jun tightly, rushing in a shake of his head before Jun completely dismissed him and mouthed “Stay here”. 

Why. Why were these creatures absolutely everywhere. Minghao felt like giving up. He leaned back against the closest wall and checked his own surroundings. He was always either terrified or finding the entire situation thrilling--no in between, but now was starting to just get tired of it all. It was getting boring and old, real quick. 

He didn't even flinch when he heard the piercing screech of one of the cannibalistic monsters directly to his right. He just closed his eyes, sighed, and threw the knife. The small noise that Minghao heard next just told him that he gorged the creature right through the throat. Hey, not too bad for not looking. 

Jun fired three gunshots upstairs, and Minghao heard him call out that it was safe. He made it halfway up the stairs before he heard Jun nearly shout, “Hao, quickly!”

“I'm coming!” Minghao groaned, “What could possibly…” he stopped himself when he saw Jun’s eyes widen at a notebook. Minghao furrowed his brows, “What is that?”

“This is… this handwriting… I know this handwriting.” Jun mumbled to himself, “Doesn't… doesn't this look like Chan's writing?”

Minghao quickly went up to Jun and read the passages to himself. The handwriting did look like Chan's, but Chan was dead. 

_...I don't even know the days anymore. Ever since I've been on my own, I'm not even sure when its day and night... _

“Jun…” Minghao muttered, pointing to a small excerpt, “Look…”

... _ I miss Jeonghan the most. At least he tried to help me. I still remember telling him to leave. It was stupid of me. A scratch wouldn't have turned me. We should have known that. I fought for my life against those zombies without them. I thought about going back, but no. Wonwoo would have killed me. _

“He probably blames me.”Jun said, “Somewhere in here its probably saying how much he hates me for letting him out.”

“But don't you get it, Jun? He could be alive. Go to the last page.” Minghao urged, turning the pages himself.

... _ It's so fucking cold. Writing is the only thing keeping me sane. Would anyone read this? Will anyone find me? Probably. Raiders are everywhere. Finding food is a hassle but it's easy when you know how to kill a whole group in less than ten seconds. There's so much blood on my hands now, I think I'm going to end up going insane soon… _

_ … I miss them so much. I should have just gone back…  _

“We have to find him. We have to stick around here and wait for him to come back!” Minghao said, “He's alone, Jun.”

Jun shut the notebook and placed it back where he found it, “Seems to be doing fine on his own.”

“What happened to helping people?”

“What if we brought back someone who was going insane, huh? Wonwoo would have a field day shooting us all up!  Seungcheol is downright looking for a reason to kill you off and you know it.”

“He wouldn't.” Minghao narrowed his eyes.

“You don't know him anymore. He isn't the same guy. You know that much, too.”

“If he doesn't come back soon, we can leave… sound like a plan?”

Jun sighed, “We need food.”

“We can look later but if Chan comes back he obviously knows how to get it and he can help us. He misses us, Jun…”

Jun folded his arms and glared at him, “Ten minutes. I'm counting.” Minghao’s smile made it worth it.

 

Lee Chan was alive. He was alive and mostly healthy, and considering the circumstances, he was pretty sane. He learned how to hunt people down and kill them. Being alone in an apocalypse can change a person -- for Chan, he aged twenty years mentally.

When Jeonghan and Jihoon left him, he felt like it was the end. He almost didn't fight it, but then he started to wonder if he could survive. Using the knife Jihoon gave him, he fought three zombies at once and he felt… powerful. He felt like he could make it until a rescue team came and picked him up.

Despite losing sight in his one eye after one of those zombies tried to claw it out, he built himself up to feel unstoppable. When Chan saw his reflection, he hated looking at how disgusting his eyeball looked, so he made his own eye patch. Having an eye patch made him feel like a child for a couple minutes before he heard the growls and gurgles of more zombies. Without having to look at his eye, he didn't have a reminder that he wasn't invincible. 

He was strong. He survived in that apartment complex since he left his group and he was comfortable. Yes, he was lonely, but he didn't trust anyone at that point. Being alone made him think a lot, and he started to think about his group and all the things they've done wrong. He did blame Jun for giving him the okay, and he did blame Jihoon for not trying harder, but with even more time to think to himself, he learned to forgive. He didn't want to live with hatred. He wanted to live with hope that he would one day reunite with his friends, so he started to write. Writing them down kept them alive in his mind, even though he had absolutely no idea if they were alive or not. Aside from writing about them, he wrote about what he learned from the zombies. He learned a lot.

Chan walked back into the apartment complex and immediately felt uneasy. Dead zombies littered the floor and the knife lodged in the ones throat made it obvious someone was in there. He made his way over to the zombie with the knife in its throat and pulled the knife out in one swift movement. He felt his heart skip a beat when he noticed how familiar the knife was.

He's seen this knife before. He knew the owner. He kept his gun in his hand and carried the knife in the other as he explored the apartment complex. Could they still be there?

 

Jun heard the noise downstairs and paused. He turned to Minghao, “Hear that?” Minghao nodded and Jun put a finger to his lips before inching his way down the stairs. Minghao followed. 

Minghao couldn't take it when they reached the bottom level. He shouted, “Chan!” in the direction of the footsteps. Jun was ready to clamp a hand to Minghao’s mouth, but instead listened. 

The footsteps stopped. Then they started up again, slower, coming closer. They seemed hesitant, and Jun felt his heart beating out of his chest. There was a huge possibility that this  _ wasn't  _ Chan, and they'd be absolutely fucked if that were the case. Jun heard the other person stop before turning the corner to the hallway he and Minghao were in. 

“Minghao?” the voice came out rough and unfamiliar. Jun didn't like it. He didn't trust it.

Yet there was a familiarity with the slight uncertainty in the tone. It sounded childlike. Minghao knew it had to be him and he pushed Jun out of his way. He felt nervous and made his way towards the corner.

“Lee Chan?” Minghao asked before turning the corner slowly. 

Time stopped. Minghao stared at the boy. He didn't even look like Chan, but he knew it definitely was. So many things have changed about him, but the one eye that wasn't covered by the eye patch said it all: it was Chan. And Chan just stared, as if he couldn't believe this was real. Minghao related to the feeling. 

He wanted to hug him, to hold him in his arms and maybe even cry just because he was alive and he simply  _ could  _ do those things, but Chan beat him to it. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around the taller boy and broke down into tears immediately. Minghao reciprocated and went down on his knees, pulling Chan down with him.

Nobody said anything. Not even when Jun made his way over after recovering from his initial shock and joined the hug. He didn't care about being masculine and strong in that moment. He loved both Minghao and Chan and that's all he cared about. 

Jun broke the silence when Chan finally pulled away, “I thought you were dead…” 

Chan just shook his head, “I wasn't ready to die.” 

Minghao wouldn't let him go. He kept clinging onto him, “Please come back with us. We went out for food but an extra person we can trust is so much better.”

“You guys need food?” Chan's voice was still rough, and his throat was sore, but he didn't care. 

Jun nodded, “Everything we had blew up.”

“How many…” Chan started

“Seven. Eight, if you come back.”

“Who…”

“Wonwoo, Mingyu, us, Cheol, Seokmin and Jihoon.” Jun answered. 

So Jeonghan was dead. Hansol was dead. So many of his friends, dead. He couldn't pretend they were alive anymore. He didn't even want to know what happened to them. He just hoped they were at peace wherever they were and that they didn't suffer.

“I can get you food.” Chan slowly got up, “Follow me.”

Chan nearly hoarded food. His biggest fear was running out of resources, so every time he saw food, he took it. It didn't matter if he had twenty boxes of the same expired food; he would steal another box. He debated giving his little hoard up, considering if he did go back to his old group his food would run out quickly, but he also wouldn't be opposed to raiding to get a little extra. He was purely survival of the fittest. 

Minghao watched him hand Jun a couple of items, “Aren’t you coming with us?”

Chan paused. He glanced downwards before shaking his head, “No.”

“But I thought…” Jun started, but Chan cut him off.

“Look, it’s amazing knowing you guys are alive, but… I can’t go back.” Chan shook his head again, “I can’t,” he seemed like he was trying to convince himself it was a terrible idea, “It would be worse.”

“Don’t you regret leaving the way you did? I mean, we’re not that far away right now… we’re living in that hotel down the street.” Minghao said quietly.

“That’s nice, but it’s best if everyone thinks I’m dead.” Chan said flatly, “Nobody will look for me. Nobody will care.”

“What the hell is wrong about people caring about you?” Minghao questioned. Chan sighed.

“It just adds more worry. I’ll help you guys out because you seem to be struggling, but I’m not going back.”

Jun knew what he was about to do could either make the situation go his way or ruin everything, but he went for it, “We read your journal.” he saw Chan’s jaw clench.

“I was weak back then. Stopped writing months ago… or at least what seems like months.”

“You won’t survive out here, Chan!” Jun’s voice raised slightly and Chan slammed a mason jar on the floor, causing glass to shatter everywhere.

Chan started to shout, “I’m doing just fine on my own, Junhui! It’s BETTER to be on my own! Why don’t you guys get that!? I’m. Not. Going. Back!!” He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. When he was calmer, he spoke, “Maybe it’s best if you guys just left right now.” He didn’t look either one of them in the eye, “Pretend like you guys never saw me.”

“Fine. Come on, Hao. Forget it, we don’t need him.” Jun growled, refusing to take any of the food with him and storming out. Minghao didn’t follow.

He just looked at Chan with big eyes, still red and puffy from the crying earlier, “You don’t know what your death did to everyone,” He bit his lower lip and noticed Chan was listening, “Jeonghan… went… insane. And it broke Seungcheol, which caused him to lose sight of what mattered--”

“Well I’m not Seungcheol’s new fucking babysitter, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Chan snarled.

“It’s not… I just think, strength in numbers, and that maybe if you came back you can mend everything and you would be even stronger than ever… I think it’s possible, Chan.”

“ _ Minghao! _ ” Jun yelled from the outside of the building.

“I can’t.” Chan whispered.

“If you change your mind, we’re right down the street--or what used to be a street.”

“I heard you the first time.” He sighed, “If you don’t leave now, Jun might kill you.”

Just as he finished his sentence, Jun barged back in just to grab Minghao by the arm and drag him out of the building, “This is why nobody fucking likes you anymore, you never fucking listen!”

Chan watched them leave. He was at war with himself. Minghao was right that there were strength in numbers, but he didn’t know if  _ those  _ numbers would strengthen or weaken him. He was at the top of the food chain where he was now. He wasn’t sure if he was willing to give that up for a fifty-fifty chance for everything to either go right or wrong. Seeing Jun manhandle Minghao the way he did made it clear that they definitely weren’t the group of boys he knew, and if Seungcheol really lost all motivation, everything probably crumbled. He wasn’t sure if he could even help at that point.

He still remembered the knife he found lodged in the zombie’s throat and reached for it. He put it in his back pocket and was planning to give it back but he was too swept up in his emotions to remember to return it. He looked down at the knife. Knowing how emotional he got when he saw Minghao made him wary of going back even more. He couldn’t afford to have emotions anymore. When he killed people, he didn’t care. Maybe his old group would make him feel a sense of pity again.

Or maybe it would give him something else to fight for.

Chan only knew of one hotel and he was positive it was the one Minghao was talking about. Hiding his hoard of food and promising himself to go back for it, he set off in the same direction his old friends went in. He was going to try to make things right.

 

Jun hated himself. He promised Jeonghan that he would look out for Chan and ruined everything. He had the chance to fix it, and ruined it again. He should have just pleaded and begged, make Chan think that he was doing them a favor, but he let his boldness get the best of him. He hated the way he yelled at Minghao. He felt like his throat was on fire after screaming at him and saying what he said. He tried to apologize on the way home but Minghao was silent and that worried him more. It was all a stupid pride thing, and he hated it.

Minghao felt as though Chan had died all over again. Maybe Jun was right and they should have left before Chan came back. They should have ignored the notebook. Going back to the hotel without food made him feel even worse. He felt as though he was heading up the steps to be hung. Seungcheol would definitely have his head one of these days, why wouldn’t it be today.

“So you found nothing?” Jihoon asked.

Jun shook his head, “We’ll look tomorrow. It’s getting dark.”

“Where’d you go?” Seungcheol seemed calm enough. He didn’t seem angry at all, and it was a surprise.

“That apartment complex down the street. Just a bunch of zombies.” Jun stated and Seungcheol nodded, taking it as a mental note to mark that off his list of places to look in.

Minghao noticed Mingyu stare straight behind him. It looked as though he had seen a ghost and he didn’t quite understand. Then he looked over to Wonwoo, and he had the same expression. He slowly turned around and saw him.

Lee Chan had followed right behind them.

“You… forgot this,” He held out the knife, “In the complex. I knew it was yours.” Minghao gladly took it from him.

Jun couldn’t be mad at Chan after that. He smiled at him. He just walked right up to him and hugged him, “Thanks.”

Chan hesitated, then slowly started to hug him back. Minghao turned to the rest of the group, who were all in absolute shock, “Chan’s alive… by the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So let me just say I'm sure you can all understand why this is even later than usual given what has happened recently. SHINee is my favorite group of all time, and they were the first kpop group that I really started following way back in middle school. So Jonghyun's passing really got to me. I think I've accepted it and as of right now I'm doing okay, and that's all I'm going to say about that. I'm really not good at expressing my own feelings or emotions, especially now. I'm sure you all understand why I haven't updated in forever and why I don't want to say much right now. I know I don't have anything to worry about, but I thought I would explain why I didn't really feel up to continuing a story that is literally based on death and darkness. I made this chapter pretty light and somewhat happy as well. Chan returning was something I knew I was going to do eventually but I felt now was a good time to make it happen. This story isn't a very happy one but it can't ALL be sadness. Happiness shows up unexpectedly sometimes (: I know what I want to happen in the story already, I just have to work up to everything! More unexpected plot twists to come. At least I hope they will be unexpected!  
> Anyways its almost 2:30 am and my body is so sore and ya girl needs a better sleeping pattern.   
> again thank you all so much for your comments and love I love you all so so much. Y'all gave me the strength to update this right now. I would have put it off for a super long time without the support lol. Uh, so until next time ❤❤   
> Oh by the way Happy New Year!! I hope everyone's 2018 is filled with happiness and love and joy and peace and everything good in this world because y'all deserve it.


	11. "Am I Crazy?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group isn't too welcoming towards Chan, Mingyu loses his mind, someone almost dies, and Jihoon is the new leader.

“Let me get this straight, guys.” Jihoon started, trying to wrap his head around the insane story Jun and Minghao rattled off, “You… went looking for food, found this abandoned apartment complex, somehow stumbled across Chan's diary--"

“Not a diary!”

“--shut up, I haven't gotten to you yet. Stumbled across Chan's _writings_ and thought to yourselves ‘Hey, let's see if he's alive’?”

“Yes.” Minghao nodded.

Wonwoo added to Jihoon’s attempt at understanding, “You waited around not even knowing if Chan was sane enough to remember you, and then had a wonderful reunion?”

“I guess…” Jun shrugged.

“Is Chan infected? Have you tested that?” Mingyu asked, worried.

“We don't know how to test that.” Jun glanced over at Chan, who's eyes grew double in size in disbelief.

“How the hell do you guys survive?! You guys need me. Seriously.” Chan looked at each one of them, searching for agreement. When he got no reaction, he remembered he didn't _need_ them to agree with him; he knew it was the truth. He took a flashlight out of his bag and gave it to Wonwoo, “Shine this in my good eye and tell me what you see. If I'm a zombie, it'll be bloodshot and mostly white.”

Wonwoo did as instructed and all he saw was a regular eye. He shined in different angles, trying to catch something, “Just a normal eye.”

“See? Nothing to worry about.”

“How do we know he's pointing us in the right direction?” Mingyu asked warily. Chan rolled his eyes.

“If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you already.” Chan said flatly, “I've killed more people than you've probably known. I don't have a conscious anymore." He shrugged. Mingyu was horrified.

Seokmin made his way down to the rest of them, covering his neck and collarbone with the gauze wrap. He froze when he saw Chan.

“We found him!” Minghao said happily.

“Uh, yeah, I can see that, and I'm assuming I'll get the full story later...” Seokmin slowly walked up to him. He walked around him, checking him out, “How's the leg?”

“Good enough.” Chan answered.

“Your eye?”

“Long story. I can't see out of it anymore.”

“Let me see your back. That's where you got scratched, right?” Seokmin asked. Chan slowly nodded and allowed him to see his bare back. Seokmin was almost sick just from looking at the untreated deep scratch. It needed immediate attention, “I'll be taking care of that, but other than that…” Seokmin looked at his neck, his shoulders, chest, face, everything. Chan had scars absolutely everywhere and he was absolutely filthy. It was hard to tell what was dried blood and what was just dirt. His clothes were torn and disgusting. As the honorary medic Seokmin wanted to just fix him up and make him feel better, especially after what he's been through, but he had a feeling Chan wouldn't want any of that. He just looked into his eyes -- uh, his good eye -- and sighed, “You look like shit. But you look a lot better than I would have expected.”

“Uh, thanks.” Chan said, uncertain.

Seokmin looked at the rest of them, “Does Seungcheol know?”

Jihoon shook his head, “I'll let him know soon. He did night watch last night so he's sleeping.”

“Do you think…” Mingyu started to speak in a soft tone, then shut himself up immediately. Wonwoo turned to him, gently urging him to continue. Mingyu just shook his head, “Nevermind.” Wonwoo didn't push it.

 

Seungcheol didn't understand. Why the fuck was Lee Chan alive? He remembered the day Jeonghan came back an absolute mess because the youngest boy got attacked and he told them to leave him alone.

_“I tried, Cheol. I tried to bring him back!! I-- I don't… I dont know why he just wouldn't, he was so fucking stubborn!”_ Jeonghan had cried.

It was Chan's death that made Jeonghan go insane. Slowly, Jeonghan lost himself. Seungcheol remembered catching him talking to a person who wasn't there and how he just slipped into his own little world at times. Now seeing Chan alive, right in front of him, made Seungcheol angry. Jeonghan went crazy for nothing. He died for nothing. And it was all Chan's fault.

When he saw him standing with the rest of the group, he didn't know what to say. Did he even say anything? He looked around the room and nobody seemed to fazed by the breaking news that Chan was still around. Seungcheol just made his way through the group and grabbed his gun, “I'm going back to the mall.”

“What the fuck, why?” Wonwoo asked, standing up.

“Because if _he's_ alive, Jeonghan has to be, too.” Seungcheol pointed the gun at Chan, “I'm finding him.”

Jun watched Seungcheol navigate down the stairs to go out the exit, “He's lost it.”

“Yeah, tell me something I don't know. Remind me again why he's still the leader?” Jihoon snapped in anger, pushing past everyone to follow him outside.

Wonwoo glanced at the remaining boys, “I've offered. Have I not?”

“Shut the fuck up, Jeon.” Jun spat.

"That's what I was afraid of..." Mingyu whispered to Wonwoo.

 

♡♤♡♤♡

 

Six hours. It had been six hours since Seungcheol stormed out and Jihoon chased after him, with only one gun for protection between the two. Minghao stared up at the broken clock.

“They're not coming back.” Jun said, defeated, “Something happened out there.”

“I'll tell you exactly what happened. Choi Seungcheol lost his fucking mind. Maybe they did find Jeonghan and he was a zombie. What a way to go, too. Your ex boyfriend eating you.” Wonwoo said.

“Now is not the time.” Mingyu mumbled.

“Jihoon wouldn't have died. He's too smart.” Minghao said, not taking his eyes off the clock.

“Yeah but Cheol is too crazy. Plus, Jihoon cares too much about him. Cheol could have led him to his death.” Jun said.

Chan looked at all of them in disbelief, “Is this seriously how you guys are now? What--why aren't you guys saying ‘let's go find them’?”

“It's pitch black outside. It's a deathwish.” Seokmin glanced at him, “Zombies are fast. We wouldn't see them coming.”

“Zombies can't see in the dark, idiot. They're daytime things.” Chan sneered.  Seokmin’s eyes widened in shock, “You can look at me like that all you want. I _am_ the creature of the night. Shit I've raided so many survivors at night that I can practically see in the dark like a damn owl.”

“You can only see out of one eye, what kind of claim is that?” Wonwoo laughed.

“You're all a bunch of pussies. I can't believe I came back to this shit.” Chan stood up suddenly and his chair fell over in the process. He went over to the scattered weapons the group had and picked his favorite before heading out.

“Where are you going?” Minghao picked his head up.

“Fucking finding your leader. Are you coming?” Chan stopped halfway down the steps to look up at him.

Minghao hesitated. He didn't want to leave Jun, but he didn't want to just wait around and do nothing. He hated that most of all. With a quick glance Jun’s way, he nodded, “Yeah, hold on.” He went to grab his remaining two knives but Jun grabbed him by the wrist.

“You're not going--”

“Grab me again and you lose the hand.” Minghao growled. Jun let him go in surprise, and watched him follow Chan out.

Minghao barely understood himself. He didn't know why sometimes he had courage and other times he wanted to hide behind Jun and let him do all the dirty work. He knew he was afraid of dying, and that played into everything he did. For some reason, he didn't feel worried to go out at night. It may have been Chan saying that the zombies couldn't see at night, or the fact that Chan nearly bragged about how many people he killed, but he felt much safer being out in the dark with Chan than cooped up with the others.

“Is Seokmin an idiot?” Chan asked quietly when they were out of the hotel, “Seriously, wasn't he the one studying these things?”

“He only goes off of personal experience.” Minghao tried to defend him.

“Well I'm going to fill you in while you're out here so you don't get yourself killed. Zombies can't see in the dark but their hearing is impeccable. So stay quiet. They'll find you without sight.” Chan glanced around, “Seokmin is right, they are quick. But it's still safer at night than it is in the daytime. Also, try not to bleed or have anything that smells. If you run away, run straight and don't _ever_ look back, although it's much better just to fight the bastards. Keep going for the throat. Also, they are _never_ alone. There are always at least six, from what I've seen. So be prepared for a fight--” Chan stopped in his tracks and held a hand out to stop Minghao as well. He slowly aimed his gun straight ahead and listened carefully. Minghao wasn't sure what he was doing but he decided not to get in his way.

Then Minghao heard it. The groans and hisses of zombies following them. Chan probably knew he was being too loud but he still wanted to fill Minghao in for his own safety. How nice of him.

Minghao almost made a noise when Chan suddenly open fire and hit something straight ahead. The bullet must have hit something metal by the sound and ricochet, but Minghao didn't have time to think when Chan grabbed him by the arm and made him go directly to the left of where they were going, “The entire rest of this trip will be silent. Ok?” Chan whispered, ever so quietly. Minghao just nodded in understanding. He heard the grunts and hisses continue going towards the noise and told himself not to look behind to check. He saw Chan peek around a corner and then start to go left, in their original direction. It was crazy to see Chan so serious.

“Where's the mall?” Chan whispered.

Minghao silently led the way to where he remembered the mall to be. Then he heard a scream that could only come from Choi Seungcheol. He turned to Chan and dramatically gestured the way he was going, as if to say ‘there it is’. Chan just froze. Then he shook his head.

No, Chan thought, Seungcheol wasn't that stupid to scream.

He took charge and went towards the mall even though his gut was telling him to run the other way. He knew this was going to get ugly quick, so he made sure Minghao was close behind. Chan heard another scream that sounded like Seungcheol. One scream would have been believable, but now Chan knew it was something trying to mess with his head. He knew the mall wasn't very far away, so he drew his gun and got ready to use it and turned back to Minghao “Stay behind me.” he mouthed. Minghao nodded.

Chan should have kept in mind that Minghao wasn't a very good listener. When they heard the sound of someone screaming for help, Minghao was immediately drawn to it. He went towards the noise before Chan could even attempt to stop him and he had no choice but to follow him.

 

Wonwoo leaned back against the couch. It was hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that Chan was actually back, and that he didn't find it awkward or odd at all. It was like Chan knew they would find him one day, and Jun and Minghao seemed to want to pretend there was nothing different. He didn't trust Chan at all. He was no doubt a changed man, and Wonwoo was sure he didn't change for the better while he was gone, "Are we sure we can trust the kid?" he asked out loud, causing Mingyu and Seokmin to raise their heads, "Think about it. He's been alone for this long, he... acts like he runs the damn show, he looks like fuckin' Scar from the Lion King with his eye and all--"

“More like Jack Sparrow if you ask me.” Seokmin laughed.

“You get the point I’m trying to make.”

“Don’t judge him on his appearance, Wonwoo. You’ve been doing so well, don’t ruin the streak.” Mingyu nearly cooed. Wonwoo couldn’t hide his small smile. It shut him up for a little bit.

“I’ll admit, I don’t like his attitude, but he’s willing to help.” Seokmin said, picking the conversation back up, “I mean, none of us were willing to go get Seungcheol and Jihoon. He didn’t even take Minghao for protection because let’s be real, it was probably more work for Chan to bring him instead of going out on his own.”

“I don’t like him.” Wonwoo mumbled, “I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever. This Lee Chan is a different Lee Chan and he’s got a cocky ‘I’m better than you’ attitude and--”

“It sucks, doesn’t it?” Jun cut him off. Wonwoo opened his mouth to defend himself, but realized he couldn’t. Jun smirked, “Give him a chance. He was crying like a baby when he realized who we were, and he didn’t even want to come back. Minghao guilt-tripped him.”

“Great. Now he’s going to try to kill us.” Wonwoo sighed, “You know, get us out of the picture so he can be on his own again.” He didn’t realize Mingyu had gotten up from where he was and started to walk over to Seokmin.

Jun shook his head, “He’s fine. I’m more worried about Seungcheol killing us.”

“Min...” Mingyu started nervously, but it went unnoticed since Jun announced, “Maybe it’s best if they don’t find him! Cause I don’t want to be the one to get killed by him first.” at the same time as he walked out of the room completely.

“He’s about to kill Minghao.” Seokmin pointed out, then noticed Mingyu standing practically in front of him, “Or maybe you…. what do you want?”

“ _Min…_?”

“What, Gyu?” Seokmin repeated himself with more clarity. He felt Mingyu’s hand touch his collarbone and he froze. He didn't even realize the gauze had fallen off slightly.

“What… is that…?” Panic started to rise in Mingyu’s voice when he took it upon himself to unwrap the gauze completely. Seokmin knew he figured it out.

Mingyu just backed away slowly, eyes fixated on the bite mark on Seokmin’s neck mumbling “Oh, my God” over and over. Wonwoo immediately noticed something was up and stood up, looking in between Seokmin and Mingyu.

“Gyu, it’s nothing! It’s--just--it’s just a bite, and--”

“A _bite_ ! What _bit_ you, if something _bit_ you that means you’re going to _become something!_ ” Mingyu shouted. Jun came into the room at the sound of Mingyu’s breakdown.

“What bit you?” Wonwoo asked, much calmer.

Seokmin had to be honest. There was no way around it at this point, “Uh… one of the zombies… I think….” he said sheepishly, covering the mark on his neck and avoiding eye contact.

Wonwoo paused, “You think--”

Seokmin started to talk faster, “It’s _not_ bad, I don’t even feel it anymore! It’s fine, I promise you. Listen I know what you’re thinking--”

“When did this happen?!” Wonwoo interjected, but Seokmin couldn't speak anymore. This was going to end badly if he fucked up. He didn't know what to say.

Jun cut in, “We aren't sure how people get sick. The disease was airborne, you know.”

Mingyu ran a hand through his hair, “But people are biting people and everyone's going insane!!”

“Cannibalistic is not the same as zombie-fied.” Jun said, “Seungkwan got sick because he breathed that shit in for too long. We don't know.” he sighed, “Seokmin is probably fine.”

“Soonyoung got bit.” Wonwoo recalled, “Then he snapped.”

“I would have snapped already, don't you think?” Seokmin asked

Wonwoo shrugged, “You've been moody.”

“Oh my _God_ , just get OUT OF HERE! You're going to get us _killed_!” Mingyu shouted.

“Mingyu’s right.” Wonwoo nodded, “I think it's best if you left.”

“Are you kidding me!?” Seokmin looked at him, shocked.

Jun got in between Wonwoo and Seokmin. With him in the middle, he thought Wonwoo would think clearer since he couldn't see the bite wound anymore. He spoke quietly, “Wonwoo, be honest with me. How much are you thinking right now? Seokmin has done nothing but help us.”

“He's infected, Junhui. Why are you so against this?”

“I’m not, I’m just saying,” Jun took a deep breath, “Maybe we should wait. Don’t do anything stupid right now. Listen, I… I knew about this. Seokmin told me the day it happened. It's...fine, Wonwoo.”

Seokmin stepped in, “It happened a few days ago. That’s why I’ve been in my room, guys--I was making sure I wasn’t a threat! I know…. I know what a zombie would do and--”

Wonwoo cut him off, “I don't want to risk it.”

Mingyu looked between Wonwoo, Seokmin and Jun. Nothing was getting done, and it freaked him out more, "Well then don't just fucking _stand_ there, Wonwoo! Do something!" That's when Wonwoo snapped. He had enough. He grabbed a smaller gun and aimed it right at Seokmin.

Jun immediately jumped into action, grabbing Wonwoo by the arm, “Hey, don't do something stupid!”

“I'm not playing games anymore!” Wonwoo shouted, pushing Jun away, “I'm not dying in this fucking apocalypse! Now I'm letting you do this voluntarily… go, Seokmin. Get out of here. I don't want to hurt you.”

“Wonwoo…” Seokmin looked at him, then at the door. He was torn. He knew it was a death sentence no matter what he did. If he stayed, Wonwoo would shoot him. If he left, he would be killed by something else. He found himself backing up and hitting the wall, and he felt cornered. Seokmin had absolutely nowhere to go, and he wasn't going to fight Wonwoo. Not even with a gun pointed at him. He risked a glance at Mingyu, who was looking down as if he didn't want to see Seokmin die, even though he was the one who told Wonwoo to do it. Mingyu had betrayed him. He was his best friend since middle school. Now Mingyu was the primary reason there was a gun pointed at him, and he found himself more angry at Mingyu than he was at Wonwoo. “Wonwoo…” he tried again, feeling defenseless.

“I-I'm sorry…” Wonwoo whispered, finger slipping over the trigger. He tightened his grip on the gun. Seokmin turned his head and shut his eyes tight, anticipating death.

Wonwoo hesitated. He couldn't do it. Something stopped him from pulling the trigger and he didn't fight it, “I can't do this. I can't. I won't.” He sighed, lowering the gun to his side and walking away. He sat down on the couch and just buried his face in his hands as Seokmin sunk to the floor and wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his forehead on his knees while he tried to catch his breath.

“You did the right thing.” Jun offered, and Wonwoo just took a deep breath. He couldn't believe himself.

"I can't even look at any of you right now." Wonwoo said quietly, slowly rising to his feet again and walking out of the room.

Mingyu started to shake his head violently. No, he couldn’t let this happen. He was in danger. Seokmin was a threat now. How could everyone be fine with this? He knew if he had Seungcheol and Chan by his side, he wouldn’t be so outnumbered. Jihoon probably wouldn’t be okay with the idea, either. He felt so alone. He felt like Wonwoo wasn’t keeping his promise, and that made him so angry that he knew he wasn’t thinking straight anymore but he couldn’t help himself.

“I've had enough of this.” Mingyu growled, picking up the gun that Wonwoo had placed on the couch cushion beside him. Before Mingyu was able to properly aim the gun at Seokmin, Jun stood up and grabbed him by the arm and pushed Mingyu’s arm downwards. Mingyu put up a fight, and Jun started to use more force.

"Drop the gun!" Jun shouted.

"Let _go of me!_ "

Then he heard a bang, and Jun went down.

In a sudden attempt at finishing what he planned to do, Mingyu fired the gun. He had no idea what he had done until he felt Jun completely let go of him and hold the inner part of his own thigh instead, dropping to the ground. Mingyu froze. He wondered if the gun fired or that was in his imagination but even with Jun on the ground, he still didn't believe it. He just stared, wondering if Jun was faking it. He didn't think it was real. It wasn't until He saw the blood pouring from Jun's leg that he started to come back to reality. He blinked a couple of times and dropped the gun completely, letting it fall to the floor with a loud clack. He flinched, but didn't take his eyes off of Jun. There was so much blood...

He snapped out of it when Wonwoo roughly pushed him out of the way, screaming, “What the fuck is _wrong_ with you tonight!?” and rushing to Jun’s side. He heard Wonwoo start to ask Jun what to do, but Jun couldn't answer. Mingyu started to panic again, but not because he was afraid of turning into a zombie or dying. He panicked because he was afraid of what his own mind was starting to do to him.

“No, no, no, Jun, I'm so sorry, I--" he cut himself off because he knew ‘Sorry’ didn't cut it. He didn't know much about human anatomy, but he knew that there was a major artery in the thigh. He killed Jun. He started to feel sick because of it.

Wonwoo started to apply direct pressure to stop the bleeding, but Jun was starting to lose consciousness, “Junhui-- _Junhui, hey!_ Hey, Jun, you're not allowed to die. I don't want anyone else to die I'm sorry--" Wonwoo’s voice broke.

Seokmin was suddenly on the other side of Jun, muttering something to himself about the femoral artery. He quickly ripped off his sleeve and used it as a tourniquet on Jun’s upper thigh, “Keep doing what you're doing, Wonwoo.”

“Seokmin, I wasn't going to--I just lost it for a sec--"

“Shh. It's fine. Focus on Jun.” Seokmin hushed him. The fact that Seokmin didn't seem to hold it against Wonwoo at all, tell him it was _fine_ , made him feel worse. He tried to start focusing on Jun. The only thing that gave Wonwoo hope was the small groans of pain and whimpers that came out of Jun’s mouth. It was the only thing that let him know Jun was still alive, for now.

 

“ _Seungcheol!!_ ” Minghao shouted, “Let's go home, or… whatever.” He lost Chan a while ago and just wanted to find Seungcheol. He managed to make it inside the mall and looked around.

He felt a hand cover his mouth and he immediately went into defensive mode. Minghao grabbed his knife but before he was able to stab his attacker, he heard Chan's voice in a hushed tone, “It's me, idiot!”

Minghao turned to him angrily, “I would've killed you, moron!”

“Yeah, well don't go running off! I'm smart, you're dumb.” Chan whacked him upside the head. He nearly flinched when he heard a gunshot, “That could be them.” Chan wasted no time trying to figure out where the sound came from. Minghao had made enough noise; if they were going to be killed, it would have been his fault anyway, so Chan just wanted to get everything over with and be ready to kill whatever moves. He was starting to regret letting him tag along.

Chan paused when he heard Jihoon’s voice, “Come on, Cheol… it’s over. He’s not here.”

“He has to be.” he heard Seungcheol sigh, “He… he has to be.”

“Isn’t Chan enough--?”

“No. Jeonghan--he needs to know, too.”

Chan turned the corner and saw Seungcheol kneeling on the ground, searching through a bag that had looked like it went through hell and back. He assumed it was Jeonghan’s by the way Seungcheol had frantically rummaged through it, over and over again.

Jihoon knelt down next to Seungcheol, “Let’s go. I know it sucks but you have to be strong--”

“I’m not strong. That’s the problem. That’s why I’m here right now.” Seungcheol spat, “Just go back without me.”

“No, you’re gonna die.”

“I need to find him somehow. If you won’t help me--”

“What you need is help.” Jihoon lightly chuckled, and it made Seungcheol look up at him, “Just come back, sleep for the next few days, do whatever you have to do to feel better, and let me handle everything. Or, as much as you might hate me for saying this, let Wonwoo do something.”

Seungcheol closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, “Okay.”

Chan rolled his eyes. He had enough of the heart-to-heart. “There you guys are. Come on. Let’s head back.”

Jihoon and Seungcheol both looked up in surprise, but said nothing. They stood up and went along with it, as if they were both expecting it. Jihoon was ready to leave himself, so it helped to have two extra people to help get Seungcheol off his 'Jeonghan is still alive' mindset. Seungcheol took Jeonghan’s bag and slung it over his shoulder. Jihoon didn’t ask how they found them, because with Seungcheol’s screaming over the fact that he _only_ found Jeonghan’s bag instead of Jeonghan, anyone could have. It didn’t help that Jihoon had to shoot a zombie in the head while Seungcheol stood fixated on the bag instead of his surroundings.

"Did you hear screaming?" Minghao asked, "It sounded a lot like you, Seungcheol."

"He screamed once." Jihoon answered for him, "Something else was mimicking it, though. I think I shot it."

"Would explain the gunshot I heard, too..." Minghao mumbled. Chan shushed him.

 

The trip back was easier than going out, because they knew exactly where they were going and which paths to take that were zombie-free. Jihoon had hopes that Seungcheol was finally over Jeonghan. Once that happened, Jihoon knew that they could look into finding a way off this island or signalling for help. With Seungcheol out of the way for a bit, Jihoon knew he could get it done. He started to feel a little better about everything.

That was, until they all got back home and saw Jun.

Minghao was the first to walk into the room, and he froze immediately. He didn’t turn away from Jun, who was lying on the ground with Wonwoo and Seokmin on top of him trying to stop the blood from pouring out of a bullet hole in his thigh. There was way too much blood. He felt a pit in his stomach and had a sudden flashback to Hansol, and that’s when felt completely numb. If Jun ended up having the same fate as Hansol, Minghao knew he wouldn’t survive.

“Junhui?” Minghao called out to him, not moving from the doorway. Jihoon, Seungcheol and Chan had to squeeze past him in order to actually attempt to help.

“ _What. Happened._ ” Seungcheol demanded. He knew he wasn’t going to get the rest Jihoon promised.

“Ask the Mutt.” Wonwoo growled, and Seungcheol went searching for him. Jihoon immediately followed, just to make sure Seungcheol didn’t kill the kid. Chan didn’t want to crowd the area, but wanted to keep an eye on how Jun was responding.

“Is it the artery?” Chan asked.

Seokmin shook his head, “It’s close, but I think he would be dead by now if it were.”

Chan placed two fingers against Jun’s pulse. He was still alive. Now, they just had to make sure the bleeding had stopped. When Wonwoo tried to replace the blood-soaked gauze, Chan immediately stopped him, “No. Go get another one and put it on top.”

Wonwoo looked at him questioningly, but when he heard Seokmin say, “No. He’s right. You put a clean bandage on top of the old one.” Wonwoo did what he was told.

Chan noticed that the shirt sleeve tourniquet wasn’t doing much of a job, so he retied it even with Seokmin staring him down, “How long has he been like this?”

“Ten minutes.” Seokmin answered, then looked up at Minghao, “He’s okay, Hao. Just lost a lot of blood.”

A lot of blood was right. Minghao couldn't turn away from it all, but he tried to block it out. He kept thinking of Hansol, and how he could never go in that room ever again after what had happened to him. He felt as though this was all a dream, though, because Jun couldn't die. Jun was invincible in Minghao's mind, but looking at him now, he wasn't so sure, “Is he gonna die?”

“Not today.”

Minghao considered that answer good enough, and he moved over towards Jun’s head, “What happened?”

“Mingyu shot him. It was an accident.” Seokmin said and wanted to leave it at that. Minghao didn’t push further. Seokmin wasn’t sure if he was just scared or if he didn’t care to know details, but he was glad that was the end of it. He knew all Minghao cared about was keeping Jun alive at that moment.

Jihoon caught up with Seungcheol before he reached Mingyu, “Go easy on him.”

“What the hell do you mean, _go easy on him_?” Seungcheol nearly shouted.

“Everyone's been on edge. It was obviously an accident. He's probably hiding because he knows he fucked up and you _know_ he's been acting slightly freaked out lately. He… he is like a dog. Damn, Wonwoo’s right.”

“He's a dead dog.”

“Nobody's thinking straight except me around here. Come on. Let me handle this. You go… do whatever it is you want to do, besides kill Mingyu.” Jihoon urged, trying to physically push Seungcheol away from Mingyu’s door.

“If I don't have a solid explanation as to what happened and why I shouldn't be pissed by tomorrow morning--" Seungcheol stopped himself, because he didn't have an actual threat in mind, “I don't know yet. But you're not gonna like whatever it is.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes as Seungcheol finally left. He was mostly the cause of Jihoon’s stress. Forgetting about him, Jihoon knocked on Mingyu’s door. When he was met with silence, he waited a few seconds before knocking again, “Mingyu, are you in there?” He asked, as gentle as he could muster, “I'm not mad at you. I just want to see how you're doing.”

“That's the biggest lie I've ever heard come out of your mouth, Lee Jihoon.” Mingyu called out from the other side of the door, “I'm not coming out! I-I don't want to--"

“Don't make me break the door down. I will. You've had enough time panicking alone.” When the hell did Jihoon take over the peacemaker role? Joshua owed him big time when they caught up in heaven, or hell. Maybe Joshua would make it up by making sure Jihoon didn't end up in hell, because Josh definitely wasn't in hell. Then, Jihoon could really give him a piece of his mind. He heard the door unlock and it slowly opened. Mingyu didn't say anything, so Jihoon spoke up, “Jun’s gonna be fine.”

“There was a lot of blood…”

“Well, that's what happens when you shoot people, dumbass.” Jihoon spoke a little too sarcastically, and Mingyu went to slam the door but Jihoon kept it open, “I know it wasn't on purpose. Just let me in and tell me why the fuck you would _ever_ pick up a gun and shoot poor Junhui in the leg.”

“I didn't _mean_ to shoot Jun!” Mingyu tried to explain, walking away from the door and letting Jihoon let himself in. He sounded like a child. Mingyu acted much more immature than usual, and it was starting to worry Jihoon a little, but he let the boy continue, “Seokmin is infected, okay? He's _infected_. He said he got bit and-- and then Jun started defending him and…”

“You got mad and shot Jun?”

“ _No!_ ” Mingyu was almost whining. He sat down on the floor and buried his face in his hands, “Wonwoo was going to shoot him, because if Seokmin is infected we can't have someone infected here! He wouldn't leave. He wouldn't-- he can't stay with that bite, Jihoon…. But Jun and Seokmin-- they convinced Wonwoo not to and... I don't... know what happened." Mingyu picked his head up, "Didn't you hear me? I said Seokmin is  _infected._ "

"Let me worry about that later. Right now, you need to just breathe." Jihoon sat on the floor and tried to calm himself down. He was tired of playing therapist today. Between Mingyu and Seungcheol just moments earlier, he was getting tired of it. He knew it was a role he couldn't fulfil, but he tried his best, “Mingyu, what the _fuck_ were you thinking?"

"I blacked out..." Mingyu said quietly, "Why are you so calm about this?"

"Because in all honesty, _you_ need to calm the fuck down, first of all.” _Not good advice, Jihoon_. “But you also need to learn how to talk to people before acting on things.”

“Nothing was getting done!!”

“I'm not finished.” Jihoon stated, and Mingyu shut up again, “I don't want you anywhere near another gun ever again. You've lost that privilege.” He was pleased when Mingyu didn't fight that, “Also … you're going to be on some sort of probation. I don't want you locked up in here because I don't trust you enough not to do something to yourself, but I'll need you on lockdown somehow.”

“Until when?”

“Until not only I, but everyone else, especially Seokmin, trusts you again."

“... Is Seungcheol okay with this?”

“Seungcheol wanted to kill you." He saw Mingyu gulp, “Yeah. You fucked up. But uh…”

Jihoon wanted to take Mingyu’s mind off of it, but he just wasn't sure how to do that, “Think of me as the leader for the time being. Don't worry about Seungcheol. He doesn't have a say in what happens to you. Truthfully, I... I don't think he has a say in much anymore. Got it?” Mingyu nodded, “Good. Now just… sit here. Don't kill yourself. There's nothing you can do to change what happened.” He slowly started to stand up, silently cursing at his body for being so exhausted and giving up on him halfway.

“Jihoon?” Mingyu asked quietly, “Am I crazy?”

“Do you want my honest opinion?” Jihoon asked, finally standing up. Mingyu nodded, “I think if you don't stop doing whatever it is you're doing to yourself, you'll be just like the people outside. And that's why I'm coming back in the morning to check on you, but for now… just sleep.”

“Just sleep.” Mingyu repeated

“I'll see you in the morning.”

Jihoon left without shutting the door behind him. Mingyu prayed that he wouldn't wake up in the morning. He knew that if he did, he would be better off dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a much longer chapter, but we're nearing the end, y'all. We're past the halfway mark at least as far as I can tell.  
> As always, thank you for reading and keeping up with this story as it goes on. I say that a lot, but I'm just genuinely excited that people like my work.


	12. "We Can Live."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yet another survivor comes back from the dead, Seungcheol tries to fight Minghao, Wonwoo wants to run away, and Seokmin is bitter as hell.

_…….helicopters...city...survivors...res…….searching the ...rea…_

“It's cool that you found that thing, but its bumming me out.” Seokmin told Minghao, “They won't check Jeju.”

“You never know.” Minghao said, turning off the radio, “Zombies have been infrequent, we haven't gone outside since Chan brought us his entire stash, I say it's looking good.” He rested his head on Jun’s stomach, “It's been a while since the last bad thing happened. Junhui is doing good, Seokmin isn't a zombie, Jihoon is leader--"

Wonwoo looked up at him, completely surprised, “When the _fuck_ did that happen!?”

Minghao laughed, “Wonwoo’s still a douchebag…”

“Also, I wouldn't say I'm doing good, but I'm alive.” Jun added, “Can't really move. And you're hurting me.” Minghao immediately sat back up, “But I will celebrate the three good days we've had.”

Jihoon walked into the room and sat down on the couch. Everyone turned to him, ready to hear what he had to say, “What are we gonna do about Mingyu?” the room stayed quiet, “I mean I'm not gonna ask Seungcheol, so…”

“Shoot him in the leg,” Jun mumbled half-heartedly, “Let him know how it feels.”

“Kick him out.” Seokmin said, without a hint of sarcasm, “He’s going crazy. Am I the only one who sees it?”

“We're not abandoning him.” Wonwoo said.

“I sense some favoritism, Jeon Wonwoo.” Seokmin replied casually, “You almost killed me when I wouldn't voluntarily leave that night.”

“That was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry. I thought you were over that.”

“I am. I get that stress levels are high and that me being bit was a shock. I just don't see why it's different when it comes to Mingyu.” he shrugged. Wonwoo grew silent.

“Fight later.” Jihoon cut them off, “I don't want to leave him alone. I don't trust him to be able to function on his own properly at this point. I want you to keep an eye on him, Wonwoo, since you seem to care so much about him, but he doesn't leave that room unless you're right by his side.”

“What do you think his problem is?” Minghao asked

“Stress. Anxiety. The horrible realization that most of us if not all of us will die within the next two years.” Seokmin offered.

“Well, not necessarily. They're starting to search for survivors.” Minghao said. Seokmin just scoffed. Jihoon shot him a look.

Jihoon continued, “We are getting off this island, Seokmin. Immunity is a thing, believe me. You are one of the ones I truly think is going to make it.”

“Out of curiosity, who do you think is going to die?” Chan jumped into the conversation.

Jihoon didn't answer him, “Seungcheol found Jeonghan’s bag last night and everything in it is still in good shape. There's antibiotics, medical supplies, things we definitely need. If we head towards the coastline we might have a better shot of grabbing some attention. Or hell, maybe we can hijack a boat.”

“Unlikely.” Wonwoo whispered as he stood up, “I'll give Mingyu some company. Finish the meeting without me.”

He tuned them out as he walked down the hall towards Mingyu’s room--his prison cell. When he realized that they locked him in from the outside, he felt the need to punch Jihoon in the face. Unlocking it, he could hear Mingyu shuffle from inside. He opened the door and saw Mingyu staring back at him with wide eyes. He looked like a wild animal. His once perfectly styled hair was now all over the place. His once clean skin was covered in dirt and acne and hints of facial hair. His cheeks were hollowed and he looked positively sick. His once bright, glistening eyes were dead. It made Wonwoo want to just rig a helicopter and fly him to America, to Italy, somewhere nice where zombies didn't populate the country.

“I don't get it either,” Wonwoo said softly before Mingyu could open his mouth, “I think Jihoon is being way too rough on you.”

“He's not--"

“Locking you in here is wrong.” Wonwoo cut him off, “He’s not fair to you. He's doing it because you mean something to me, and he's punishing me as well.”

Mingyu didn’t say anything. He sat back down on the bed and allowed Wonwoo to sit next to him. Wonwoo tilted his head, trying to catch Mingyu’s attention, “Hey, look at me.” he said, “Mingyu…”

“I’m sorry.”

Wonwoo sighed, “Look what they’re doing to you, angel.” Mingyu picked his head up at the nickname, “They’re making you feel bad for doing something every single one of them has done. Hell, you weren’t even able to go through with it. They’re making you feel crazy and helpless and weak because they’re trying to kill you off. They don’t want weak links and I hate to say it sweetheart, but one of the main weak links is you. So, you know what you have to do?”

“Kill myself?”

“What? No!” Wonwoo started almost annoyed, but quickly calmed himself down when he saw Mingyu drop his head again, “You need to show them that nothing’s wrong. Do what I do and block everything out. Even when you’re dying on the inside, you stand tall and make them think you’re bulletproof.” He reached out and held Mingyu’s hand, “And since I don't listen to any type of authority, I'm ignoring Jihoon and… setting you free.” He smiled.

“Free?”

“Out of this prison cell.” He explained, “Hey,” he squeezed Mingyu’s hand, “I promised to protect you. Once you tell me you want to ditch this shit group, I'll start packing some bags and we can go off on our own. They're going to die anyway.”

Mingyu hesitated, “Would you really just leave?”

“Of course I would. Minghao’s radio keeps saying the locations of where the rescue teams are heading. We just have to wait it out. We can make it. Seungcheol dragged them all to hell and back and although I appreciate Jihoon’s efforts, he lost my vote when he decided to lock you in this room. It can be just you and me. We can live.”

“Has… Seungcheol been around?” Mingyu asked warily. Wonwoo shook his head, and Mingyu wasn't sure if that was better or worse. He was truly terrified of him, “Let me think about the whole ‘leaving’ thing. I'll get back to you.”

Wonwoo nodded in understanding and hugged him tight.

 

 _“Wonu~ we're going to be late!” Mingyu whined from downstairs. He was dressed up and ready to go in twenty minutes, and Wonwoo was taking over an hour at this point. Mingyu had decided to be romantic for their six month anniversary to celebrate both six months of loving each other, and the fact Wonwoo helped Mingyu actually pass his classes. He wanted to surprise him with dinner at Wonwoo's favorite restaurant (a restaurant you needed reservations for a few weeks in advance), but if he knew Wonwoo would have taken forever to get ready, he would have told him about it six hours before they were supposed to be there rather than two. He was already paying for the whole damn thing, Wonwoo couldn't be a_ little _quicker?_

 _“In a second!” Wonwoo mocked Mingyu’s tone from upstairs. He was in the process of trying on his fourth outfit for the night. This wasn't some cheap food place, this was_ Cornerstone _, and Wonwoo wanted to dress like he could actually afford to eat there. He already fought Mingyu about paying, and he knew he would lose, so he might as well just play along._

 _“If I knew you were one of_ those _guys, I would have never done this.” Mingyu moaned from downstairs._

_“And what does that mean?” Wonwoo questioned, re-tucking his button down in his black pants for the second time._

_“A flamboyant twink who needs his outfit, hair and makeup perfect.”_

_“Twink?!” Wonwoo shouted, hearing Mingyu laugh from below, “I would think twice before calling the person who helped you get your failing grade up to a B- names.” He grabbed his jacket off the bed and decided he looked good enough, quickly meeting Mingyu by the stairs, “And we will be on time. Relax.”_

_“I was planning on taking a walk down by the Han River before eating but I guess we don't have time. I even wore chapstick for the occasion.” Mingyu muttered, earning a cold look from Wonwoo, “But you look very handsome,” he kissed his forehead which immediately made the older boy smile, “And you're always handsomer when you smile instead of look at me like I should go die in a ditch.” He linked arms with his boyfriend as he opened the door, but Wonwoo drew his arm back. Mingyu forgot the ‘no PDA in public’ rule._

_“Handsomer is not a word. It's ‘more handsome’. I taught you nothing.”_

_“Eight months of trying, though.”_

_“Yeah, here's to that.”_

 

Seungcheol felt like shit. His body was starting to shut down and he was convinced it was because he refused to rest until he found Jeonghan. If Jeonghan were dead, he would have been in that mall. He searched absolutely everywhere so he would have found him or at least Joshua, but there were no bodies anywhere. He should have just gone back in after the building collapsed and pulled them out immediately. Jihoon could say why he wanted, but Seungcheol knew they were out there. At first, he hated that Chan was alive, but doing nothing for the past few days except thinking can change a man. He started to find hope, that maybe it was a sign that Jeonghan and Joshua were okay as well. Wherever they were, Seungcheol hoped Joshua was taking care of Jeonghan for him.

He looked outside the broken window and breathed in the ash and smoke that he was so used to breathing in now. The sun had started to set a while ago and he was now met with the orange-grey, polluted sky. Seungcheol heard the familiar caws of a crow in the distance, and could only count one from where he stood. He heard a few caws from other areas, but he only studied the one. It was strange for any life to be anywhere near where they were now. The air was slowly killing them as it was, so a crow should know to fly off and leave.

“ _Wonwoo! Jihoon! SOMEONE.”_ Seokmin screamed from down below and it caught his attention for a split second. When he turned back to the crow, it had gone. Choosing to forget about the bird, he went downstairs, letting Seokmin's voice give him an understanding of where he was in the hotel.

 

Seokmin had heard groaning. It wasn't an eerie type of groaning that he knew came from zombies. It was a pained groan, and he knew someone was hurt nearby. Being so close to the entrance of the hotel, he opted to check it out. He brought a gun with him, just in case, as he inched his way around the building. Then he saw the source of the groaning. It was a boy, close to his own age with dirt and blood covering his face. He leaned against the side of the building and he held his one calf close to his body. Before Seokmin could get close to see his actual face, the boy buried it in his knee, trying to muffle his grunts of pain.

“Hey…” Seokmin called out, “Hey, are you okay?” The boy’s head shot up in fear, but it was too dark to really see his face, “Oh, shit, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. No, I'm okay, I'm a survivor…. Are you okay? Where-where's your group?”

“Lost them.” the boy said roughly.

Seokmin paused, suddenly feeling a strong sense of pity, “I'm sorry… um, do you know where they might have gone?” he asked, leaning down. The boy shook his head, “Okay. Here, can I do a test? If it comes back clean I can help your leg. I've helped tons of people.” The boy nodded slightly and Seokmin went to work. He took his flashlight out and shined it in the boy's eye, watching how the boy's pupil dilated correctly and looked completely normal. He mentally noted to thank Chan for that tip later, “I think you're good. Okay. Let me see the minor stuff before we get to the leg.”

“Its my...ankle…”

“Ankle?” Seokmin nodded, “I'll help you up and I want to see it, then.”

“Alright…” the boy coughed. Seokmin got comfortable and reached into his backpack. “Are you alone?”

“No, my group isn't too far from here. Actually right inside this building... what can I call you?” Seokmin asked, wiping the boy's forehead clean from blood and dirt.

The boy coughed and cleared his throat, “--Shua.”

Seokmin stopped. He slowly reached for the flashlight again, “Joshua?” The boy looked up and let Seokmin shine the flashlight in his face. God, he didn't even look like Joshua Hong. He had a black eye and a bloody nose. He was skin and bones and looked like a zombie already, but looking closely at him, at his lips and his good eye, it was definitely him, “Oh my god, Josh, what the fuck!” Seokmin breathed out and stood up, “ _Wonwoo! Jihoon! SOMEONE_.” he shouted loud enough for them to hear him.

He almost hated that Seungcheol was the first one to come. Seungcheol couldn't do much for Joshua. Seokmin stood up, “Help me get him inside.”

“Who the hell is it?”

“Josh.”

Seungcheol froze. He was just started to accept the fact that they were alive and _together_ and now…

Seungcheol got down at eye level, and gripped Joshua’s broken ankle, making him shout out in pain.

“Where is he.” He demanded.

Joshua couldn't even try to speak. The pain was unbearable, but he knew if he didn't answer that Seungcheol wouldn't let up. He could faintly notice Seokmin trying to get Seungcheol to let him go but it was no use. Seungcheol just gripped harder.

“He's gone!!” Joshua screamed desperately. Seungcheol let up a little, allowing Josh to catch his breath, “I don’t-- I don’t know where he is!! We got split up and--he-- I don't know!”

“You’re lying.” Seungcheol sneered crushing the bone again.

“I'm not--ahh!!” Joshua felt the broken bone in his ankle snap even more, “Cheol, please, I don't know!! I swear!!”

Seungcheol felt a knife against his throat, “I said,” Seokmin started, dangerously calm. That wasn't like Seokmin at all. He was either gentle and understanding or completely bitter nowadays. Violent and demanding was a whole new side of him, “Knock it off.”

Seungcheol let Joshua’s ankle go, only to grab him by the front of the shirt and pull him closer, earning yet another grunt of pain from the other, “If I find out you did something to him, I swear to God, I'll make you suffer more than you've already have--"

“Enough!” Seokmin cut him off. Seungcheol stood up and pushed Joshua back to the ground. Joshua coughed and struggled to catch his breath as Seungcheol walked away. It didn't satisfy him. Joshua deserved to suffer so much more than that. Going back inside he noticed Minghao first. Minghao was his target at that point.

Minghao, at first, looked confused to see Seungcheol out of his room. Soon that expression turned to concern when he realized Seungcheol was coming closer to _him_ , “What's wrong Cheol--" Seungcheol didn't give him a chance to finish his question before he punched him square in the left cheek purely out of anger.

Seungcheol made a mistake that night. No matter how much he pushed Minghao around and emotionally abused the shit out of him, there was nothing quite like starting a legitimate fight with him. The boy had been weak and let others walk all over him for months. There was definitely pent-up anger locked deep inside. And Seungcheol, in an attempt to make Minghao a target, could have just made himself one.

Minghao felt his body shift with the impact of the punch, and he held onto a rotted table for a little support so he didn’t end up falling onto the ground. He stood like that for a second, debating whether he should really let Seungcheol have it or let it slide for now. He, like Seokmin, let things slide because of how stressed out everyone was, but he was scared of Seungcheol. He was genuinely scared of what Seungcheol could do to him, and he didn’t want to give him a reason to do anything out of anger. However, he was tired of Seungcheol walking over him, and he would be damned if he let it keep happening.

“I don’t want to fight you, Cheol.” Minghao said quietly. He locked eyes with Seungcheol as he straightened out, “Don’t make me do something I might regret.”

“You can’t do shit, little boy.” Seungcheol pushed him backwards, “Fight me. You scared, huh? Worried I have a knife or a gun on me?” He kept pushing him until Minghao was backed against a wall.

“Don’t push me--”

“Do something about it.” Seungcheol growled, centimeters away from Minghao’s face, “Coward.”

“Cheol, don’t--”

“You’re just Junhui’s little pet.” Seungcheol grabbed a hold of Minghao’s wrists and pinned them against the wall, “You’re part of the reason nothing goes right. You’re weak, you’re useless, you’re nothing!” Seungcheol needed to feel pain. He needed to know he wasn’t just a walking zombie already.

Minghao took advantage of his hands being pinned to the wall and lifted both legs to kick Seungcheol right in the gut. With the impact, Seungcheol let him go instantly, causing both of them to fall roughly. Minghao was the first to get back to his feet and he waited for Seungcheol to get back up, “I don’t want to fight you!” He shouted, but to no avail. Seungcheol got up and immediately charged at him again, but Minghao dodged him, then punched. Once Minghao landed a punch to Seungcheol's side he let him have it for a while. He kept punching until Seungcheol kicked him off to the side, and he didn't fight it. He stayed on the ground, just waiting Seungcheol out. He saw Seungcheol's lip was bleeding and there was a cut on his cheek and Minghao knew he did that. He hated it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Seungcheol saw a knife. He needed to make this interesting, so he scrambled up and grabbed it. The fear in Minghao’s eyes was actually quite exciting to see. Seungcheol felt in power again. He could kill Minghao right then, if he wanted to, “You’re scared of me, just admit it.” Seungcheol spoke calmly, no longer trying to lunge at the boy, “When I pointed that gun at you the night Hansol died, you were scared.”

“That's what you want to hear? Fine, of course I was scared!” Minghao shouted.

“Are you scared now? Nobody can even hear you up here. I could kill you right now and nobody would know.”

“Yes, I'm scared! You’re acting insane! I'm. Not. Fighting. You!”

Seungcheol sighed and tossed the knife Minghao’s way, “You don't wanna fight me? Fine. Consider us even. You truly are useless.” Minghao stood, confused. Seungcheol just stopped, just like that. There was nothing else to it. Seungcheol continued, “If you're so weak, go try make yourself useful and help Seokmin. There's another survivor, but I don't want him eating anything. I don't trust him yet.”

Minghao felt the adrenaline rush out of him and his hand started to hurt, but the news of another survivor made him feel hopeful again. Seungcheol was definitely a hazard, but new survivors were good news. In fact, the fact that Seungcheol didn't trust this survivor made Minghao want to become close to the mystery survivor.

 

He didn't recognize Joshua as himself when he first saw him. It took bringing him into the hotel and Seokmin referring to him as ‘Josh’ three times before Minghao realized. He stayed quiet as Seokmin took care of the boy, just holding his hand for comfort and since Seungcheol announced that he didn't want Joshua eating anything, he offered him some light snacks they had lying around. Joshua only agreed to water, which made his throat feel a lot better. He didn't say much, but when he did speak, he sounded a lot less rough.

Chan and Jihoon returned from hunting for resources and came back with full backpacks. They both looked at Joshua, extremely confused. Minghao noticed and smirked, “Doesn't even look like him does it?”

“I'm afraid to ask.” Jihoon said, cautiously.

“Do I look that rough?” Joshua asked lightheartedly. Now hydrated, his voice sounded just like it always had. Jihoon recognized it right away. Chan smiled.

“Damn, we’re all reuniting again.” He laughed.

Jihoon walked closer, “Does Seungcheol know?”

“He almost killed the kid, then he punched Minghao in the face because of it apparently.” Seokmin answered. Minghao nodded when Jihoon turned to him.

“Pulled a knife on me, too.”

“Jesus Christ. What is with you guys?” Jihoon groaned, running his fingers through his hair, “I'll take care of it. Someone give this skeleton something to eat.” He gestured to Joshua.

Chan sat behind Minghao on the floor and rested his forehead on his shoulder, completely exhausted from being awake for nearly three days. Minghao allowed it, mostly because he enjoyed Chan acting somewhat normal and he liked to have those moments of normality every now and then.

“Joshua and Jeonghan got trapped in a mall.” Minghao told Chan, earning a small ‘mmm’ out of the other boy.

“So where's Jeonghan?” Chan asked sleepily.

“I don't know.” Joshua rushed out, as if he was worried Seungcheol was going to torture him for information again

Seokmin wrapped his ankle and tried to make some conversation, “How did Jeonghan and you split--"

“I don't know where he is.” Joshua said defensively.

Seokmin paused for a little while before continuing what he was doing, “I don't mean to pry. And I'm not going to jump down your throat like Seungcheol did… he's been a wreck since the mall collapsed with you guys in it…” he said calmly, “Well, you can see we've found Chan as well. He's been doing just fine without us, but he's here now, gracing us with his presence yet again.”

“You're welcome.” Chan yawned.

“A little shit,” Seokmin shot the youngest a look, “But we still love him just the same. Even though he's definitely not.”

“Eh, nobody is.” Minghao shrugged. He would admit, Joshua was acting very untrustworthy. Seokmin tried to get information out of him and he was very defensive every time Jeonghan was brought up.

“Did you kill him?” Chan asked, turning to face Joshua.

Joshua turned to him, a mixture of shock and nervousness in his eyes, “N-no! I would-- would never put him in, uh, any-any sort of danger I-I wouldn't kill him, I c-couldn't--"

“You're stuttering an awful lot for someone who's innocent.” Chan cut him off, “I haven't slept in about 72 hours but I'll still make you tell me.”

“I-I don't know where he is.” Joshua said, looking back down.

Seokmin looked in between Chan and Joshua. Minghao kept playing with his shoelaces, wanting no part of the conversation. Chan wouldn't back down, and Joshua wouldn't say anything else except ‘I don't know where he is.’ There was no use forcing information out of him, “You can tell us anything you know when you're ready. For now, you need rest. Do you need me and Hao to carry you?”

“I can do it myself.” Joshua whispered, standing up on his own. He took one step and fell down to his knees. Seokmin rushed to his side and carried him up, “I guess I can't…” Joshua whispered even quieter.

“Minghao, come on.” Seokmin said, and Minghao was immediately at Joshua’s other side. Joshua had both of his arms draped over each boy's shoulders as they held him up.

Seokmin opted to put Joshua in the room Seokmin had locked himself in for those few days he thought he was a zombie, and also chose to stay with him in case he needed something the first night he was back. Minghao left the two alone once Joshua was properly laying down on the bed, and it was just Joshua and Seokmin.

“You don't have to tell anyone what happened,” Seokmin said, “but whatever's bothering you might be bothering you as much as it is because you're keeping it bottled up. I'm not going to judge you. Hell, Wonwoo held a gun to my head the other day and I'm not hating him for that. And then Mingyu actually tried to kill me… him, I'm a little hesitant on saying I forgive, but Wonwoo… I sort of do.” Joshua was silent. He turned to his side and tried to get comfortable. Seokmin sighed, “Whenever you're ready.” He sat on the opposite side of the bed.

“I don't know--"

“That's fine. That's totally fine, Josh.”

“I really don't.”

“That's okay. We'll find him.”

Joshua wanted to tell him to quit looking, because the boy went so batshit crazy that it was better off for him to die, but he didn't want to put himself in more danger than he already has by stumbling upon his old group. He really, truly, had no idea where Jeonghan was, but the guilt of not knowing where he was because he abandoned him in the middle of the night five nights ago was eating him alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josh is back! And super shady? It's kind of what happens when something as traumatic as being trapped in an abandoned mall happens to you, I guess. Seungcheol doesn't trust him, but nobody trusts Seungcheol anymore because he's kind of a hazard. So, at the end of the day, who's more trustworthy? The boy who's gone mad trying to find someone, or the one that attempted to escape madness by abandoning that same boy the other is looking for? Survival of the fittest~  
> These are very complex characters, as you're all aware of. Nobody's pure evil, but nobody's purely good either. Trust no one. That's all I can say.  
> So, what do you guys think? Do you like the story so far? Do you have any predictions? I'm trying to wrap this up quickly so it doesn't become a drawn out story, so there's going to be a lot more action and twists and turns coming up shortly.


	13. "There is No Cure."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu does good, Wonwoo has feelings, and Joshua opens up.

He was running. He could hear himself panting and felt himself start to slow down. His stamina was running low, and he knew he wasn't going to make it too much longer. Why was he running? What was he so afraid of? Himself? The consequences of his actions? There were no punishments in this world anymore. He had nothing to be afraid of, but he kept on running. 

_ I'm a horrible person. I'm a horrible person. I'm a horrible person _ , he kept telling himself,  _ go back, go back, GO BACK! SAVE HIM! _

_ “What’s your name?” _

_ “Joshua Hong.” _

_ Jeonghan took a while to answer, and the man repeated the question. Jeonghan just shut his eyes tight and mumbled, “My head hurts, Josh…” The man was way more interested in Jeonghan than Joshua, and as odd as Joshua found that, he had a slight idea as to why.  _

_ “We’ll need a Type B Chopper…  Tomorrow morning is fine. Thank you.” _

Joshua knew that was the end. He knew he wasn’t infected, but he’d be damned if he let Jeonghan bring him down. He left Jeonghan in the middle of the woods while he slept, only leaving a few things behind. He ran as fast as he possibly could and as quietly as he could. He would have rather lived in hell than to be executed.

The devil on his shoulder told him  _ Forget him. He's not your problem anymore. He's dead already.  _ Yet the angel on his other shoulder warned him  _ He needs you. He can't make it without you. He lost enough as it is, don't let him lose himself, too. You are his best friend. What best friend are you? _

He tried to apologize to Jeonghan as he packed, whispering so many “I’m sorry"s that the words meant nothing anymore. He wasn't sorry. If he were sorry, he wouldn't have been planning his escape. He tried to convince himself over and over again that this was the right thing to do, but he knew it was all wrong. He knew nothing he did would ever make up for what he was doing to Jeonghan. If Jeonghan ever caught up to him, Joshua wouldn't even be surprised if he killed him. That's what Joshua deserved. He deserved a death sentence for this. He was a traitor.

For five days he ran. He ran away from his troubles and his guilt, and even though it didn't work, he kept trying. He kept trying to run from it all and find peace in what he had done. On the fifth day he tripped and fell over a root in the ground, and when his foot got caught in the root, his ankle snapped. He heard the snap, and he muffled his cries. He just wasn't cut out for this ‘survival of the fittest’ game, no matter how much he tried to be.

He was hiding from zombies soon afterwards. They caught onto his cries and swooped in before Joshua even realized what was happening. One grabbed him by the shoulder and another gripped his wrist in an attempt to rip it clear off his body. He managed to get away, somehow, but he knew he was running out of time.

He found himself limping back to the city, back to where the mall collapsed, but he passed the mall. He let himself breathe and didn't push his luck with running on a broken bone, no longer thinking of Jeonghan. He thought about his old group.  He would be lying if he said he didn't miss them. He wondered how they were doing and if everyone was still alive since he last saw them. He wasn't even sure how long it had been since the mall collapsed. He passed that mall, and walked down the street slowly. It had gotten dark out quickly, and he needed a place to stay that wasn't out in the open. The hotel…

Didn't Seungkwan mention a hotel down this way, all those weeks (months?) ago? Maybe his thoughts had gotten mixed up since then, but the hotel sounded like a promising shelter. A crow cawing in the distance made him jump slightly. Joshua wasn't a completely superstitious person, but a crow did not seem like a very good sign. 

His body collapsed before he even made it to the doorway and he opted for leaning against the hotel instead. He extended his leg outward, letting his broken bones rest for a little while and couldn't help the loud groan that came out of his mouth. He was so tired, in so much pain, and he just started to wonder if leaving truly was best for him. Thinking about Jeonghan for the first time in a few hours made him start to cry all over again. He buried his face in his one knee, and took a deep breath.

“Hey…. Hey are you okay?” 

Joshua shot his head up in fear. Who was talking to him? His eyes couldn't adjust to the lack of light in time to see the person's face. Everything started to go entirely black, until he saw absolutely nothing. 

 

“Josh? You okay?” Seokmin asked him, pulling Joshua out of his sleep. His mind made him replay what happened in his dreams. He hadn't slept since… he ran off, and now sleep would forever haunt him.

“You're really sweaty. Bad dream?” Seokmin asked again.

“No.” Joshua answered shortly, “‘s hot in here, is all.”

Seokmin considered the room to be a little on the colder side recently, but he wasn’t going to argue. If Joshua wanted to act sketchy, he wasn’t going to ask questions. That might get him killed.

 

Jihoon found Seungcheol by the same window he had been staring out of the past few days. He was never scared of the other, but the way Seungcheol stood, so confident and stoic, made him feel as though Seungcheol was slowly turning into someone he didn't recognize. Once Seungcheol became that person, Jihoon knew it was all over. 

“How are you feeling?” Jihoon asked.

“Better, I assume,” Seungcheol said, continuing to stare out the window “Not really sure what the traitor’s doing back here.”

“You can't call him a traitor if he didn't do anything wrong.”

“He did something. You can see it in his eyes.” Seungcheol finally turned to him, “You're telling me you trust him and Chan completely?” 

“Chan, I do. He's done nothing but help us.”

“Neither has Seokmin yet he's been more bitter than my grandmother was.” he looked back out the window, “I don’t trust Mingyu, but Mingyu was onto something when he tried to shoot Min.” Jihoon kept his opinions to himself and let Seungcheol continue, “I don't really trust anyone except you anymore, Jihoon.”

Jihoon shook his head, “Everyone here is trustworthy in some sense. Jun is extremely loyal and you know it. He took that bullet for Seokmin.”

“He's only loyal when you can do something for him. Listen to me, Jihoon. I know what I'm talking about. None of them are thinking about what's best for the whole group. They all only care about themselves…” he took a deep breath and placed his hands on the windowsill, “It's not worth any of this.”

“It will be.”

Seungcheol shook his head, “Not until I find him. Hong’s going to tell me, whether I have to break his arm or not.”

“That's not a leader quality.” 

“I don't give a fuck about being a leader. I just wanted Wonwoo to stop being an asshole all those years ago.” Seungcheol growled.

“Well then maybe you should just, uh, hang back and stay alive. And I'll take care of everything…” Jihoon spoke cautiously. Everyone already viewed him as Seungcheol's replacement, except for Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol ignored him, staring out the window. Jihoon watched him carefully until he finally spoke, “I think that's what's driving the zombies away.”

Jihoon hesitantly looked out the window, “Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Black smoke and fire were coming closer to the hotel. They didn’t have much time. Seungcheol suddenly chuckled, “Better get a move on, then. Chop chop.”

Jihoon raced down the steps to try to get a game plan, knowing Seungcheol was absolutely less than completely useless. He slowed down to round the corner to the lobby, where they mostly spent their time. He took everything in.

Seokmin had the door open to the room he placed Joshua in and was going in and out, trying to make things comfortable for the other. His neck was completely bruised and the veins were black, and Jihoon didn't want to be the one to tell him that was  _ not  _ a good sign. Minghao was laying on his stomach on the floor trying to get the radio to stop fading in and out while Jun took up the whole couch taking a nap. Chan was a sad sight, staring at his reflection in the dirty mirror and obviously hating the eyepatch. Jihoon didn't want to see what was underneath that if Chan was too ashamed to look himself. Mingyu and Wonwoo thought no one was paying attention to them, and giggling to each other in the corner. That, however, was a peaceful sight, a sight Jihoon knew he wouldn't get to see for a very long time. 

“Wonwoo, stop…” Mingyu whined, “You smell like cigarette smoke.” 

“I'm cold…” Wonwoo mumbled bitterly, “Please?” Jihoon watched Mingyu put his hands in his coat pockets and hug Wonwoo close, enveloping him in the coat. He could hear Wonwoo shiver from where he stood, “F-f-fuck…”

“You should quit smoking.”

“I'll be dead soon either way.”

“Stop that now… knowing the weather patterns it'll be warm again before you know it.” Mingyu’s voice was calm and soothing. 

Jihoon cleared his throat and Mingyu quickly detached himself from Wonwoo. Wonwoo at first looked lost and upset, but then noticed Jihoon. His face burned up and it looked as though Wonwoo wanted to say something, but Jihoon really didn't have all day, “Come on, we gotta go.”

“To where?” 

“Somewhere safe. Probably near the sea, considering fire us next on the apocalyptic schedule.”

 

They travelled again, with broken limbs and all. Wonwoo was slightly annoyed that Mingyu immediately offered to help Jun out when he started stumbling over himself (although… he  _ was  _ the one who shot him). He figured Mingyu would want to get away from the group as soon as possible -- Wonwoo was even thinking of places to go -- but instead he chose to tag along and try to win them over. He was so on board a few days ago.

Jihoon watched Seungcheol stalk Joshua like a lion hunting an injured gazelle. He nudged him once, but Seungcheol didn't acknowledge it. He was in pure danger mode and nothing would tear him out of it. Seokmin must've noticed the way Seungcheol was acting and put an arm around Joshua protectively. Jihoon didn't see either one as a threat: Joshua was timid, if anything, and Seokmin’s bitterness wasn't too permanent. Seokmin was still caring and gentle, but Jihoon did notice how his zombie-infected neck was just looking worse by the day. Jihoon couldn't say much, though. He was sort of in the same boat, anyways. 

Poor Joshua was oblivious. All he focused on was not tripping. His foot was healing, and he stopped thinking about Jeonghan every second of every day. He just imagined the other boy being dead, and left it at that. Sure, it was terrible, but it was most likely the case. Seungcheol would hate him, but in Joshua's world, he still couldn't kill. He was wrong, though. If Joshua messed up, he would be dead. Seungcheol decided that the second he saw his stupid face again. 

Chan and Minghao were the most quiet. Both kept to themselves and mostly just ignored everything that was going on. Minghao had been borderline obsessed with listening to the radio recently, listening to survivors’ names and hoping he would hear his mother's name, or his father's name, maybe Jeonghan’s, anyone's really. Chan, on the other hand, just listened to try to hear where they would search next. He would, without a doubt, ditch everyone for the chance to be rescued.

“Why are you still here?” Chan asked Minghao, almost quiet enough to count as a whisper, “What's keeping you here?”

“Junhui.” Minghao said without missing a beat, “Plus, I'm not ready to die.”

“Didn't say what kept you from wanting to off yourself. I meant why not just leave -- take Jun with you if you want -- and ditch these losers?”

“I don’t know, why did you come back?”

“You seemed desperate back when we had our  _ fucking _ heart to heart in the building.”

Minghao stayed quiet, knowing he might say something dumb. Then he simply smiled, “And you came because you care about me. You  _ love us. _ ”

And Chan would never ever admit it, but he did. He would feel shittier if he let Jun and Minghao leave him that day. Even though everyone sort of hated each other, they all felt that same love deep down.

“You know what I think?” Chan whispered. Minghao leaned in, “Maybe Josh killed Jeonghan and ate him.”

Minghao crinkled up his nose in disgust, “You're sick.”

“Survival, man. I've eaten weird shit.”

“ _ People _ ?”

“Not people,” Chan said casually, “at, at least I don't think so. I mean, if I did, I wouldn't go looking for it again, you know.”

“What makes you think he…?”

“His whole ‘I don't know where he is’ comment to literally everything. He's so guilty of something and the only horrible thing I can think of that maybe I would act like that about is literally eating my best friend.” Chan tried to reason, “Like, if you ate Jun--"

“Stop!”

“--how would you feel?”

“I would rather die.”

“Exactly.” Chan sighed, “Don't know. I was alright with him when he came here but now I just, I don't know.”

“Hey, clowns. Keep it quiet back there or I'll feed you to the zombies,” Seungcheol snapped, “Seokmin, Jihoon, you hungry?”

“Real funny, asshole.” Jihoon growled.

Minghao considered it. Seokmin was a little protective over Josh, and Seokmin was also almost killed for being an almost-zombie, so maybe he felt like Joshua was still innocent or something. At that point, anything was possible. 

“Are zombies even a thing anymore?” Mingyu asked in a slightly whiny tone, “I mean, can't we just be back to normal?”

“Zombies are very much still a risk, Gyu.” Jihoon sounded bored, “Just because you cant see them doesn't mean they aren't around.”

“But like, what if the reason you and Seokmin are still okay is because all the zombies are wiped out, so all their effects disappeared too. Like in a video game or something.”

“Baby, please stop talking.” Wonwoo mumbled and Mingyu blushed. Jihoon didn't say anything, but Jun, who was leaning on Mingyu for support, glanced over towards Wonwoo in confusion. Wonwoo’s face went red.

 

It was strange, though. They didn't encounter any zombies or any other survivors on their journey towards the water. Chan was constantly on edge, not letting himself relax and accept that they weren't in danger at the moment because that was never the case. Then he heard what he was dreading.

A low, broken noise that he knew didn't come from anything human, or even previously human. It rumbled and cried louder with each step they took, and Chan couldn't ignore it any longer.

“Guys. Stop. Do you hear that?”

“It sounds like a cow,” Jihoon said, “What, you want a burger?”

“It's no cow.” Chan mumbled.

It stumbled out from the woods behind them: a huge deer, with patches of skin and hair missing and the entirety of his ribs showing. One antler was broken off and it seemed to make him lopsided. He walked weird, and stumbled over himself constantly. It was almost like he didn't even notice the group of boys until Seokmin started to speak.

“Aw, Chan, he's hurt…”

The deer locked eyes with Chan, and Chan glared right back, “Yeah, well. He's going to hurt us if we don't get out of his sight. Slowly.”

“Do I shoot--"

“No. You'll piss him off.” Chan cut Wonwoo off.

Joshua studied the way the deer pawed the ground, “Seems pissed off already, don't you think?”

“Channie, he needs to be put out of his misery…” Seokmin gripped Joshua a little tighter out of fear when the deer rubbed his one antler on the ground.

“Yeah? He sure doesn't think so. Leave him. He really isn't worth it.”

Chan heard a different noise, and any new noise couldn't be good. He rolled his eyes, “Fucking hate this universe.”

“Language.” Seungcheol murmured, purely out of instinct. It was something Jeonghan  _ always  _ said when Chan cursed, and after a while Seungcheol adopted the slight scold. Chan could feel tears sting his eyes before he shut them tight and shook his head. No crying. 

The deer's attention was quickly switched over from them to the new, foreign sounds. It snorted and let out a cry before stumbling away. 

“Well, that lost us a few minutes, didn't it?” Jihoon grumbled, “Let's get--"

“Wait.” Mingyu stopped in his tracks, “What's  _ that _ noise?”

“Zombies. Let's go.” 

“No…” Mingyu pointed to his left and Jihoon strained to listen to another noise, “Please, I'm not crazy.”

“‘Crazy’ is a perfect way to describe you.” Seungcheol snorted and Wonwoo wanted to punch him.

“Sounds like a helicopter.” Mingyu whispered, ignoring the remark. 

Jun forced himself to stand on his own, without Mingyu’s aid as he strained to listen. He felt the wind pick up and believed, for a second, that maybe something good would happen. Mingyu glanced over to him and Minghao watched him closely. 

“Do you…?” Mingyu started.

“I don't know.”

“Well, well what the hell are we standing around for?” Joshua asked, “No noise is ever good, let’s just stick to the original plan and--"

“Shut the fuck up,” Seungcheol groaned, pointing his gun at Joshua’s head, “The traitor is fiesty now, ain't he? Knock it off.”

Jun stumbled and Minghao was the first to catch him. Wonwoo would have scoffed at how protective Minghao was of Jun in another universe, but instead he grabbed Mingyu by the arm and pulled him closer once he knew Jun had someone else taking care of him, “Let's go check it out,” Wonwoo spoke up. Mingyu turned to him, and before he could answer Wonwoo told the rest of the group to stay there while they went and looked. He was even more surprised when Wonwoo took him by the  _ hand _ and led him towards the noise. 

It was definitely a helicopter. Along with blades whirring, Mingyu and Wonwoo heard people. Mingyu felt Wonwoo squeeze his hand tighter. “Are you okay?” He asked.

Wonwoo said nothing as he kept walking forward. He let go of Mingyu’s hand with one last squeeze and put his hands in his pockets, hugging his jacket closer to his body. The wind formed by the blades definitely made the air colder. Mingyu put a hand up to shield his eyes from the dust flying around. It didn’t take long before a man in what seemed like a biohazard suit noticed them walking up. The two boys heard someone shout, “Don’t move! State your business!”

Wonwoo and Mingyu froze at the sight of guns suddenly pointed at them. They glanced at each other before Mingyu shouted over the helicopter, “Aren’t you looking for survivors?”

There was a pause. “State your name and age. Both of you.”

“Kim Mingyu. I, uh… I should be 21 by now…” Mingyu announced.

Wonwoo followed suit, “That would make me 22. Jeon Wonwoo.”

“They’re speaking clearly. I say they’re not infected.” another man stated while someone else shut the helicopter down in order to hear better.

“Look we got, uh, a pretty injured group not too far from here. We’ve been out here for two years, we need to get the fuck outta here.” Wonwoo nearly begged.

“I’ll call in.” the first man sounded promising, but Wonwoo didn’t believe him.

The second man walked towards them, gun still pointed directly at Mingyu’s chest, “Tell me how you got that hole in your leg.”

Wonwoo looked down at his thigh, “Got stabbed.”

The man studied Wonwoo, and then Mingyu. He ordered, “Get the rest of your group, then. You have an hour to get things in order if you want off this island.”

“Thank you,” Mingyu breathed out, “Oh my God, Wonwoo…”

They didn't need the whole hour, but it was much safer to rush back than to take their time. Mingyu was practically skipping back to the rest of their group. They remembered which turns they took to get to the helicopter and made sure not to trip over any roots or make too much noise.

 

“They're taking too long. I say ditch them.” Seungcheol growled, picking up his shotgun.

“Don't be a dick,” Jun matched his tone. He wasn't even intimidated by Seungcheol's glare, “Wonwoo and Mingyu doing good right now. Don't take that away from them.”

Seungcheol sighed loudly and then started to look around to amuse himself. He kept Joshua in his sight, out of the corner of his eye, and noticed the look of nervousness. He smiled to himself at that, “Wish we could've found Hannie.”

Joshua looked down, staring at his broken ankle, “I'm sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Seungcheol asked with a fake, comforting tone.

Joshua took a deep breathe, “I couldn't help him.” 

Jihoon looked up at Seungcheol as he walked closer to his target. He watched Seungcheol crouch down so he was eye level with the boy sitting down, and listened in, “What'd you do, Josh.”

Joshua's mouth opened to reply, but nothing came out. Instead, his eyes wandered to the gun in Seungcheol’s hands. Seungcheol noticed and put the gun down, “I'm not gonna shoot you, Hong. If I were going to kill you, I'd be much more cruel.”

“He went insane, Cheol. There was absolutely  _ nothing _ I could do.” Joshua cried out, desperate for some forgiveness. Seungcheol didn't flinch, “We--he--I--...”

“Pull your shit together and tell me what happened.”

“He was here last time I saw him. I just left. I couldn't he-help him. He was, he was turning, turning into one of  _ them _ and I didn't have the heart to shoot him, Cheol…”

“Is he still alive.”

“I don’t know.” Joshua kept looking down. 

Seungcheol glanced up to see Mingyu and Wonwoo coming back. He stood back up and stepped directly over Joshua over to them, “Took  _ you _ long enough.”

“We get out of here in an hour. You're welcome.” Wonwoo said.

Jihoon blinked, “You serious?”

Mingyu smiled brightly as a response, “Wonwoo and Mingyu: Power Team.”

“That's my best friend!!” Minghao shouted happily, “Even if you did shoot my other best friend!”

Seungcheol looked back at Joshua, then caught Jihoon watching him. He turned back around to the two, “Good job, Jeon. Muttgyu.”

Wonwoo's jaw clenched at the nickname. He didn't know how bad it sounded when it came out someone else's mouth, “We're off to better things boys. What happened in Jeju, stays in Jeju.” Wonwoo announced.

“Sounds like a fucking plan if I've ever heard one.” Jun agreed, leaning back against a tree trunk. 

“Well, let's go! No use waiting the full hour out here. Lead us to freedom, Gyu.” Seokmin urged. Wonwoo laughed at the way Mingyu’s face lit up at the comment. 

 

The military chopper was landing just as the nine remaining boys got back into the base. An officer in military uniform walked briskly towards them and held a hand out for them to stop. He pulled out a small, handheld device and it beeped. The man explained that the device could detect any trace of the disease in someone’s body, and Jihoon and Seokmin started to get nervous. 

Seungcheol noticed Jihoon start to fidget slightly, and he put an arm around him and whispered in his ear, “You’re not sick.”

One by one, the boys stood in front of the officer and let the handheld device be shoved in front of their faces and flash lights into their eyes. One by one, the officer asked them their name, age, and simple questions such as ‘what’s eight times one?’, to see if their brain was still working properly. One by one, they went in line towards the chopper.

“Which one are you?” the female officer at the chopper asked, waiting to write a name down.

“Hong Jisoo.” Joshua answered calmly. That was the new name he gave the other man, worried they had ‘Joshua Hong’ on record somewhere. Jun furrowed his brows at him, but Joshua ignored him and climbed on the chopper.

“Wen Junhui.”

“Xiu Minghao.”

“Choi Seungcheol.”

“Jeon Wonwoo.”

The woman wrote all names down quickly and helped each boy on.

“You four stay back,” the officer held his arm out and stopped Mingyu, Chan, Seokmin and Jihoon from getting into the chopper, “We will get a different one for you.”

Wonwoo looked back when he heard the comment, and immediately climbed back down while Seungcheol watched, “No, that's not how we work. We all go together.”

“Not enough room for all of you.” the officer shrugged.

“Well, how about Cheol and I stay back and uh, Seokmin and Chan can take our places?” Wonwoo asked, “They're pretty injured and, well, I-I'm fine.”

“Listen, kid, the chief told me how to run things and I'm following orders.”

Wonwoo glanced towards Mingyu and then back to the officer, “We don't leave men behind.”

The officer sighed and nodded to a man behind him. Wonwoo felt his wrists behind pulled behind him and locked in place by strong hands. He fought against it as much as he could, but the officer's words stopped him, “If this is how you're going to be for trying to help you…”

“He’s just stressed, there's no need for that.” Seungcheol reassured, coming up behind him, “Right Jeon?”

Wonwoo looked up at Mingyu, who only gave him a small smile and head nod. Wonwoo took a deep breath, “Yeah. I'm just a little out of it. Sorry.”

The officer turned to the man holding Wonwoo back, “Let him back on the chopper. Bring a Type B transporter back.”

“Yes, sir.” the man forced Wonwoo to turn around and walk back towards the chopper.

“What's Type B? What's the difference?” Seungcheol asked before getting back on.

“You're going on aircraft with a team that doesn't have to worry about the disease spreading. Type B is uh, higher protection against the disease,” the officer explained quietly, “These four have it in their body. Everyone else is safe, but they need to go somewhere else for quarantine. See what the disease does. You understand, don't you?”

Seungcheol paused, then turned to the four being left behind. He and Jihoon’s eyes met, and he told him, “Take care of them.”

“Will do.” the officer replied as Jihoon nodded in understanding, and Seungcheol took a while to realize the officer assumed he was still talking to him. Either way, Seungcheol still felt nervous. He hesitantly boarded the chopper and sat down quietly, ignoring Wonwoo's looks of desperation, pleading for answers.

“When do you think they'll let us all meet up again?” Minghao questioned. Seungcheol sighed.

“Not for a while, Hao. They're, uh,” Seungcheol looked up for a second, and Minghao's expression told him that he already knew why, “I'm sorry.”

Wonwoo felt his throat close up and his stomach threaten to throw up everything he'd eaten over the past few hours (which wasn't much, but still felt horrible) all at once. His eyes started to water and he felt his whole body start to tremble. He quickly put his face in his hands and hid himself, not wanting anyone else to see him so weak. The fact that he was crying just made him feel even worse. Part of him wanted to jump right back off the chopper even as it started to rise up, and the other part of him wanted to just curl up, give up, and cry. He felt a hand on his shoulder and immediately leaned into the person, completely unaware of who it was. It wasn't until he heard Jun keep mumbling ‘I know’s and ‘let it out’s into his ear that he knew it was him.

“I love him, I love him, I love him. Mingyu-- I really, really, I, I do, I really… really… G-Gyu… I'm sorry, sorry, so sorry--” Wonwoo stuttered out until his voice didn't work properly anymore. It took forty five minutes for Wonwoo to cry himself to complete exhaustion and pass out. Jun clung to him tightly, afraid he would fall right out of the helicopter if he didn't. 

“You think we’ll ever see them again?” Minghao whispered, afraid of waking Wonwoo up.

“They’re going to kill them, Hao.” Joshua answered bluntly, and Seungcheol turned to him, “Maybe, ah, I don’t know. Chan might be saved if the disease is only in his eye. They could remove it, you know, and save the rest of him but if it’s in Mingyu’s system and the other two were bitten or scratched, there’s no way they’re coming back.”

“But there’s a cure, right?” Jun asked.

Joshua shook his head, “There is no cure.”

“And you know all this how?”

“They took Jeonghan in a Type B Chopper. Talked about where they were going to put ‘the body’ and shit like that. I wasn’t dying just because I was  _ with  _ someone who was infected so I ran.” Joshua looked down, “Should’ve just fucking shot him while he was sleeping.”

Seungcheol paused, taking it all in. Then he brought his knees closer to his chest and hugged his legs, “Should’ve.” He agreed quietly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's been 84 years since I've updated but I didnt forget about it yall.   
> Props to you if you're still following this lmao I dont even know if it's good anymore but enjoy !


	14. "This Place is a Fucking Prison."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The refugee camp is dark and secretive, and the survivors get anxious to leave as a whole group.

 

News reporters and men with giant, flashing cameras met them at their destination. The ones with microphones and rolling video cameras kept asking questions and talking over each other, but nobody answered. Wonwoo covered his face immediately at all the bright lights and needed Seungcheol to physically guide him where everyone else was going. Jisoo (who made it a point for absolutely everyone to call him Jisoo from then on) didn’t even know where to look. One of the men that rescued them all pointed towards an opening in the crowd, and Jisoo immediately darted through it. It was absolute chaos, and they were starting to wonder if this was worth it.

Days turned into weeks, and there wasn’t much else that happened. They ate, they showered, they did everything normal, and to a routine. At first, Minghao was the one who fought the strict schedules to no end, and kept asking when they were going to get out of this building and able to go live life like normal people, but one day he went back into his shared room with Seungcheol for the night with a black eye and never questioned a guard’s authority ever again. Seungcheol never asked him what happened or why he stopped speaking all together, but he knew.

Belonging to a strict routine turned out to be very comforting once they got used to it. After Jisoo got crutches and Wonwoo and Jun got proper treatment for their wounds, they were allowed to join the other immune survivors. Community shower rooms with just chest high dividers and no curtains weren't _ideal_ , but nobody complained. For the first three weeks, it worked. For the first three weeks, there wasn’t even any hot water, but once those faucets surprised everyone with nice, warm water instead of the icy cold spurts they were used to...

“Junhui!” Minghao called from a couple stalls over, “Hot water!”

It was the first time Minghao had spoken since the black eye incident and Jun smiled, too busy dunking his hair in the stream of water and making sure it was free of dirt and blood to answer. He loved being able to put pressure on both legs and stand without assistance. He loved this new life. He glanced around and saw Wonwoo wrap a towel around his waist and briskly stepped out, ignoring absolutely everyone. Jun knew at the end of the day, not everyone loved the new way of life.

Minghao, Jisoo and Seungcheol shared one 6-bed bunk, in hopes that Seokmin, Jihoon and Chan would take over the other beds one day. Jun and Wonwoo shared a different bunk and told every guard within hearing distance that Mingyu would be taking over one of the beds. Currently, the extra beds were taken over by four younger boys all definitely younger than fifteen, without living parents. Wonwoo didn't say anything about it. Sometimes Wonwoo slept in his bed with Jun. Jun never said anything about how Wonwoo went from so heartless to clingy in a matter of days, and instead welcomed him in the bed with open arms. He also never mentioned all the times he heard Wonwoo call out to Mingyu in his sleep. Jun didn't need the whole story to understand. He could see the disappointment in Wonwoo's eyes when he saw Jun in the bed every morning or whenever Jun woke him up from a nightmare. As much as Wonwoo seemed to hate sharing a bed, he did so every single night.

At breakfast, the remaining five sat together away from everyone else. It went the same as it did every morning: Seungcheol asked if everyone was doing okay, Jun did his best to check if there was any news on the others, Minghao ate as much as he could without getting sick, Jisoo was too busy scanning the room to pay attention to anything else, and Wonwoo was silent.

“Six o'clock,” Jisoo said quietly, “something's up…”

Jun looked up from his breakfast to see two armed guards blocking the exit from the outside, weapons in hand. The refuge was pretty relaxed for having strict schedules of when you could and couldn't do certain things, but they never forced people to stay in a room, “Do we ask questions?” Jun asked

“No.” Seungcheol answered quickly, “Mind your own business from now on. We don't know anyone here and they don't know us. Stay out of people's minds.”

It wasn't bad advice, Jisoo thought to himself, but he was too busy watching the guards to speak up.

Minghao, on the other hand, chimed in, “Maybe there are more survivors.”

“Not likely. There hasn't been anyone new in the three weeks we've been here and after two years you'd figure everyone alive is here.” Seungcheol answered.

“Three weeks… I lost count.” Jun sighed.

Jisoo sat straight up, “Shit.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Seungcheol furrowed his brows. Jisoo just sighed, so Seungcheol took it upon himself to turn round and check for himself. The chief officer that helped bring them to the refugee camp walked through the doors that were being guarded.

“Can I have everyone's attention please!” he spoke loudly, “Thank you. We need everyone's cooperation for a few hours as we transport some people from one side of the facility to the other. After they pass through we need to disinfect the area and that does take about two hours. So, think of this as just an extended breakfast of sorts, okay? Do not panic. Just remain calm -- you're all safe in here. Okay?”

A chorus of ‘yes’s came about, and Jisoo felt his heart stop. Wonwoo looked up for the first time in weeks as the chief left the dining hall. He could hear Jisoo speaking, but he seemed so far away.

“That's where they'll go to die.”

“Josh, shut _up_.” Minghao groaned.

“Jisoo.” Jisoo corrected calmly and Minghao narrowed his eyes.

“Whoever you are, you're acting like a spaz and its pissing me off.”

“Anger issues?”

“Likely.” Minghao growled.

Seungcheol and Jun looked in between the two before Minghao finally broke eye contact first. “Not that _this_ isn't exciting but I'll go and uh, just… see.” Seungcheol hesitated before standing up and walking towards the windows to the hallway. Wonwoo waited for a few minutes before standing up himself. Jun looked up and their eyes met for a second before Wonwoo just put a hand on his shoulder and followed Seungcheol.

“You really,” Wonwoo cleared his throat, trying to relieve some of the raspiness in his voice, “believe him?”

“Who? Jo - Jisoo? No. Like Minghao said, he's kind of a spaz. Way too paranoid.” Seungcheol answered, “The only one I'm worried about is Seokmin.” he turned to Wonwoo, “Mingyu is fine.”

“Wish I believed you.” Wonwoo watched a guard punch in a code, “I thought his psycho attitude was just, I don't know, the environment. It could have been a sign.”

“It isn't your fault.”

“You say that like I wasn't an asshole.”

“We all were at one point or another.”

Wonwoo took a deep breath, “Yeah. Sure.”

“You realize you're lucky, right? That we're lucky to be alive, but you're _immune_ to this disease that's spreading around. You're like a superhero.” Seungcheol tried to get some sort of smile out of him, but it was no use.

“Not really.” was all Wonwoo mumbled. He really didnt care. A guard could have shot him and he would have been okay with it, “Let's leave, right now. Find everyone else and go.”

“We can't.”

“Oh stop. We can.”

“It's nice here.” Seungcheol shrugged.

“Sure it is.” Wonwoo huffed, “Minghao has a black eye, we have no info on how the rest are doing, Jisoo is completely whacked with whatever drugs they gave him, and I'm losing my shit. But you're fine, so it's fine.”

“It's nicer than out there, is it not?”

Wonwoo was quiet for a while, “When Seokmin ends up getting shot in the fucking head--"

“Stop right there. You almost shot him in the fucking head out there because you were losing your shit months ago. Don't say this place is any worse than it was out there just because you finally have to follow some fucking orders.” Seungcheol shot him down. Wonwoo was fuming, but didn't say anything else.

Mingyu woke up in a white room. He didn't even remember falling asleep, let alone where, but this was all too different. IVs and machines were attached from all sides. It was definitely some hospital, but where…?

He looked at the foot of the bed and saw a clipboard attached to the rail. Slowly, cautiously, he sat up and reached for it. His head was pounding from the small movement, but he determinedly started to read the paperwork. His blood was marked “good" while his mental state was deemed “undetermined". Mental state? When did they talk to him at all? He didn't remember anything.

A nurse walked in, not looking up from her own clipboard at all while walking to the side of his bed, “Hey,” he tried to speak, but all that came out was a whisper, “where am I?”

The nurse played with the IV drip and refused to even acknowledge him. Before he knew it, he was drifting back to sleep again and the nurse was walking out the door after taking his clipboard from his hands. The world went blurry for a second, and all the sounds merged together as he blacked out once more.

Seokmin heard the instructions the first time, but he found himself asking “what?” three times after. He felt like he was a cow going to slaughter, the way they lined him up with the rest of the people they deemed infected. He tried not to breathe in the air but he almost passed out three times already, so it was no use. Shit.

“You're basically just being quarantined away from the immune people or uninfected.” the guard explained. Seokmin still felt like this was the end of the line for him and everyone else.

That guard wasn't what scared Seokmin. The second guard, a large man with a beard, was not afraid to pull his gun out and shoot someone. The person next to Seokmin coughed (and sounded sickly, in the guards defense), and that guard shot him in the head immediately. Seokmin flinched, but other than that tried his hardest to stay still. He would have flashbacks to when Mingyu had his breakdown and pulled a gun on him. This guard shot four people within the time the first guard assured that this was just quarantine and the time he opened the door to lead them to the opposite side of the building.

Seokmin wished no one else in his group was as scared as he was. Being rescued was a mistake, if it was.

“So, was I right?” Jihoon smiled brightly. He's been telling this nurse for days that he had to be immune like Wonwoo, because even after being bitten by a zombie, he was perfectly fine. The nurse didn't answer him, “Admit I was smarter than that doctor you're fucking.”

“Watch your tone. I can make you disappear and your family wouldn’t even know what happened.” The nurse fired back, and Jihoon’s smile faded into a shocked expression. Then, the nurse smirked, “You’re wrong, too.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It didn’t make any sense how he was fine if he wasn't immune. The nurse continued, “You’re not immune, but your immune system won against the virus in your friend’s. When your friend bit you, he wasn’t fully… zombified. You still need to be watched, but considering you’ve stuck around this long,” she organized all her papers and shrugged, “the holding period should be much shorter.”

“How much shorter?”

“Just a few more days. Give you a few medications. We have a cure, you know.” She smiled softly, but her eyes told a different story. Jihoon didn’t trust her.

“I was told otherwise, actually.” Jihoon countered.

“Well, we don’t like telling a lot of people because the ‘cure’ only helps cases like yours. The special cases. Cases such as, who did you come with?” she looked through her files again, “Kim Mingyu and Lee Seokmin. This won’t help either one of them.”

“They’re going to be okay though, right?”

The nurse didn’t say anything about the matter, “Lee Chan is being released very soon. Once he recovers from his surgery, he will be ready to go. You two might be released the same day.”

“But Mingyu and Seok--”

“I’ll be checking on you a little later, Jihoon. Get some rest, you’ll need it.”

Seungcheol perked up when he saw Seokmin go through the hallway. Wonwoo didn’t notice until Seungcheol banged his fist against the bulletproof glass window and shouted his name. A guard yelled back at him to stop, but Seungcheol didn’t listen. He was determined to get Seokmin’s attention, but Seokmin paid him no mind. He walked like a robot: eyes looking forward and a stone cold expression, as if he couldn’t hear at all. Seokmin walked briskly by and just as quickly as he came into their view, he left. Wonwoo couldn’t keep up with anything that was going on, because as soon as he tore his eyes away from Seokmin, the guard that was originally just shouting at Seungcheol to keep quiet knocked him against the window and held both arms behind his back.

“Get the fuck off me!” Seungcheol shouted with his face pressed up against the glass, trying his best to fight.

“Hey, come on, is that really necessary?” Wonwoo started, but the guard cut him off before he could continue.

“Insubordination. Keep quiet, or I’ll peg you for the same thing, boy.” The guard growled, “You think cause you’re immune you get to talk back like you’re better than the rest of us? The rest of them?”

Wonwoo didn't break eye contact, but  his voice gave away his nerves when he answered, “No, sir.”

“Then step aside.” the guard shouted, pushing Wonwoo out of the way before he had the chance to move on his own.

Jun jumped in when the guard and Seungcheol got close enough, despite Minghao telling him, “Cheol told you to lay low.” because, well, Cheol was being a hypocrite, which meant Jun didn’t have to listen.

“What are you doing with him?” he immediately questioned as he ended up walking with them out the door.

“Mind your business.” the guard spat.

“Where are you taking him?”

“Mind your business!”

“Jun, it’s fine--” Seungcheol tried, but Jun wasn’t giving up.

“You guys can’t just take everyone away from us and expect us to be quiet for fucking ever!” Jun shouted at the same volume as the guard, and the guard finally turned around to face him, forcing Seungcheol to stop.

“I can do whatever the fuck I want, _Jun._ You’re his friend?” he gave Seungcheol a push, “What about the immune one back there?” Jun’s eyes followed the guard’s pointing finger over to Wonwoo. He saw Minghao rushing over and really wished he hadn’t, because Jun noticed the change in the guard’s expression.

“This is why I told you to stay out of sight, you moron.” Seungcheol nearly shouted. Even being manhandled, he still had a lot of bite in his words.

“Jun, let’s _go_.” Minghao gritted his teeth and grabbed Jun by the bicep, “You’re making it worse for him.”

“I’d listen to him,” the guard smiled, “he learned his lesson.” Jun watched as the guard eyed Minghao up and down and smile wider, “Pretty.”

With that, Jun put his arm over Minghao protectively and pushed him away from the guard, “Practice what you preach, Cheol!” he called over his shoulder as the guard went with Seungcheol into the ‘No Refugees Allowed’ section of the building. Jun turned to Minghao when he walked back into the cafeteria, “And you,” he made Minghao face him, “what the fuck was that all about?”

“Can’t you see Seungcheol’s going to be punished worse now that you caused a scene?” Minghao sighed, “You’re clueless. Don’t play hero. It won’t get you anywhere in this place.”

“Oh, I’m clueless now.” Jun huffed.

“Don’t make a scene _again_ ,” Minghao rolled his eyes, “You’re such a drama queen. Go sit down until we get the okay to leave.”

Jun fought the urge to say anything else and sat down next to Jisoo. People started to talk again, and it gave Wonwoo the opportunity to sit back down without everyone watching him.

“This place is a fucking prison.” Wonwoo growled. Minghao silently agreed. Jun and Jisoo refused to look anywhere but the tabletop.

The guard let go of Seungcheol once he locked the ‘No Refugees Allowed’ doorway. Seungcheol was too hesitant to attempt to escape, and the guard must have noticed. He smiled, and Seungcheol tensed up.

“I want to show you something.” the guard spoke, gesturing Seungcheol to follow him down the hallway. The hallway was dark, with only windows along the top of the walls as if they were underground. Light was coming in, so Seungcheol assumed it was day time. The guard walked quickly, and Seungcheol tried to keep up.

“I've only brought one other refugee through here. A pretty one, just like your friend. He went by a boy's name, called himself a boy, but his hair… so long and beautiful.” The guard told him. Seungcheol eyed him cautiously, “I wish he listened. The nurses told me his brain didn’t work right, but no time for that shit around here.” the guard pulled out his phone and scrolled through a few files, “Ah. Kim Mingyu. You came with him?” Seungcheol nodded slowly, “It's the same shit with him. He's not gonna make it. They're drugging him up so much that he's practically in a coma. I hope he doesn't go as crazy as… oh. Shit, what was that one's name?” Seungcheol felt like dying, “Something Yoon. A boy's name.”

His heart sank.

“Anyway. That Yoon kid was crazy. Kept saying the demons were after him and something… weird shit. He didn't listen to anyone. No one could talk some sense into him. Kept calling out for a kid named Joshua, and it just got annoying.”

“Jeonghannie.” it escaped from Seungcheol's lips before he could stop himself, but the guard noticed.

“That was him. You knew him, then.”

“Sure.”

The guard smiled as they entered the elevator and he pressed the top floor button, “Then you knew how pretty he was.” the doors closed and the whole elevator rattled before moving upward.

“Sure…” Seungcheol started to get nervous. _Was?_

“Would you like to know what happened to him?”

The elevator let out a _ding_ before the doors opened to reveal a smaller hallway, only leading to double doors not even ten feet away. The doors and walls seemed incredibly barricaded and bulletproof. Seungcheol could smell the familiar stench of death and ash -- what he smelled for the past two years from being on the outside. The guard pushed him out of the elevator when he refused to move forward. They walked, slowly but surely, to the double doors.

“We came to this hallway and out these doors,” the guard continued as the doors opened, and revealed what looked like a standard prison guard tower.

Seungcheol took a look around and noticed that the outside world was barren. Below the guard tower was a horde of hungry zombies, numbers easily reaching the hundreds.

“and I pushed him off this tower.” the guard finished. Seungcheol could picture the whole thing happening. He could picture Jeonghan trying to talk his way out of it and buy himself some time to start, but that leading to nothing. Then of course, Jeonghan would be begging, because he would have realized the danger he was in, and the guard showing no mercy. The guard continued, “Insubordination is a big problem.”

Seungcheol was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't realize the guard stepping behind him and pushing him forward, off the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But does Seungcheol live.  
> I don't know.
> 
>  
> 
> I think once a month posting is how its gonna be from now on lol  
> But wow im so happy to get all this positive feedback wow im so glad you all like it and enjoy it and keep wanting more i appreciate that so much.  
> 14 chapters and people are still into it?? Thats insane. I love ya'll soso much


	15. "You're A Fucking Liar, Jeon Wonwoo!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo realizes escaping is harder than he thought, Mingyu is not okay, Jun is done with this shit and Seungcheol is still MIA

“Thank you all for your patience!” the chief officer returned, “Please, you're free to go, so enjoy the rest of your day. I expect you all back by dinner.”

Jun looked around and realized the guard and Seungcheol never came back, “He’s gone. Both-- both of them, the, the--the fucking--guard and Cheol… fuck…”

“Relax…” Wonwoo started, realizing Jun was getting worked up again.

“Let's give it a day.” Jisoo jumped into the conversation, “If in a day, no one's back--"

“He could be dead right now.” Jun cut him off with a look of disgust, “Are you even on our side, you fucking traitor--”

“Chill, Jun…” Minghao tried, “Let's think this through in our room.” 

Jun looked at the three of them individually, “I'm sorry -- these drugs are fucking with me. The painkillers.”

“It's okay.” Minghao said quietly as he stood up, “Come on, let's go lie down.” he helped Jun stand up himself and made him walk towards his room. Wonwoo and Jisoo followed.

“The pills fuck with me,” Jun mumbled as they walked, “I'm losing it.”

“It’s okay.” Minghao repeated. He worried, though, that Jun would truly lose it just like the others had. He let his mind wander, and started to think about how the pills he and Jisoo were taking were just tools the rescue team used to end up taking full control over them or even worse, killing them. Could he truly trust these people? When he started to ask questions, they attacked him. When Seungcheol acted out, they got rid of him, and that still freaked Minghao out. Where the hell was Seungcheol? Maybe he was dead. They wouldn't ever know, because they were completely left in the dark. They needed out. Minghao glanced over at Jun and then Jisoo. Both were having such weird symptoms to the medication. Maybe he was onto something. Maybe…

Wonwoo opening the door to his and Jun's room pulled Minghao from his thoughts. He quickly led Jun onto the bed that Jun pointed to and sat him down before sitting next to him. Wonwoo took control then, feeling his forehead and seeing if anything was abnormal, “You're burning up.”

“You can't get yourself so worked up. We don't know what they're giving you guys.” Minghao stated, looking at all three of them, “Do you feel anything, Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo shook his head, “I'm immune. They don't give me shit anymore. Tried, but I showed no negative side effects like these two.” Wonwoo sat down on an empty bed across from them, “They don't like immune people. They can't control them.”

“I'm not immune, but the medicine doesn't affect..." Minghao started but Wonwoo just shrugged mid question, so he stopped.

Wonwoo didn't want to mention how Minghao's gone from angry to suicidal to happy again all within an hour, because that would discourage him, “It's a drug,” he turned to Jun, “Do not keep taking them,” then to Jisoo, “or you,” then back to Minghao, “or you. You may not feel anything but they might be killing you. Look, once I find a way to track down my old money and get the fuck out of here I can leave. No other immune person is still here because they’ve found their family and left. You guys are my only family, so… I mean, if I leave first its to try to find something that will benefit everyone. No one wants to actually deal with these fucktards, but hey, my real family is probably dead. A guard probably shot them.”

Jisoo shook his head, “They aren't bad people.”

Minghao glared at him, “They've killed people already.”

“So have you, and Jun, and Wonwoo, Seungcheol -- all of you! You can't punish people for doing what you've done.” Jisoo argued, folding his arms, “I trust them.” When Minghao went to counter argue, Wonwoo gave him a look that told him not to bother. Surprisingly, Minghao found himself listening to Wonwoo and just sighing. Jisoo didn't even pay attention.

Wonwoo fidgeted on the bed. He couldn't just sit there and expect everything to just fall into place, “Stay with them,” he told Minghao, “I need to find Gyu.”

“Mingyu? He's fine--"

“We don't  _ know _ that. Or -- Cheol, I'll find Cheol.” Wonwoo just needed to find someone. He needed to get the group back together, “I have a plan.”

“Tell us.” Minghao urged. Wonwoo glanced over at Jisoo nervously, and then shook his head, “Just don't leave us in the dark, yeah?”

“Right.” Wonwoo said, “We're all in this together. I swear.” Minghao nodded and Wonwoo stood up, but Wonwoo knew Minghao didn't believe him, “I promise you, Ming. I'm good on promises. I promised Mingyu that we would get out of there somehow and I-I did that. Now I just need to get him out of this as well -- but I'm getting all of you out of this. But you have to be part of the group. We're family.”

Minghao let himself smile a little, and Wonwoo left on that good note. He closed the door behind him, knowing that the handle stuck sometimes, so they were most likely safe in there for now. He walked down the hallway and back into the cafeteria, out through the doors the guard led Seungcheol through. If he remembered correctly, Seungcheol was taken through the No Refugees Allowed door - yes, that was right. Going through the door, he caught the attention of the one guard in the hallway at that time. Without even thinking of the consequences, Wonwoo made the first attack. He punched, kicked, elbowed the guard, whatever he could to get the man down. The guard had attempted to call for backup, but Wonwoo punched him right in the throat at the right time. Then, he knocked him down for good.

He checked the man's pulse and saw that he wasn't dead, which was good, he guessed. He didn't want to murder a poor man for doing his job. He did, however, quickly change into the man's uniform and took his gun, “Just in case.” Wonwoo mumbled to himself as he took the final step and stole the man's ID card.  _ We're in business _ , Wonwoo thought as he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the metal door.

He heard locks turn and a siren blare in the distance, under the crack of the door, he saw red lights flashing. Someone was shouting and Wonwoo groaned. He should've known it wasn't going to be easy.

 

Jihoon nearly jumped out of bed when the alarms started to go off, and the first thing he thought of was how to get it to just fucking stop. He lazily hopped out of bed and tried to open his door, only to discover it was locked from the outside. “Hey, what the fuck!?” He shouted and banged once on the door.

A voice from the outside yelled back, “Stay in your fucking room, there’s a rogue refugee.”

“That sounds like something I don’t wanna miss, amigo. Whaddaya say? Let me grab some popcorn and watch the show.” Jihoon smirked to himself.

“Fat chance, Lee. Stay.” He heard footsteps leave and a door slam, so that’s when Jihoon decided to put his breaking in skills to good use. It wasn’t like he ever needed to break into something, but he liked to be a jack of all trades. His limited archery skills helped him in the apocalypse, did it not?

He was rusty, but the old credit card (or in his case, patient nametag card) trick worked for him and he decided to find Chan and Mingyu before actually getting the fuck out of there. Chan was easy, considering their last names were both Lee and all he had to do was shout ‘Chan!’ for the other to respond with ‘Jihoon!?’.

“Thank god your loud fucking mouth was put to good use for once.” Jihoon said casually, unlocking Chan’s door, “Now use that good eye of yours and help me find Mingyu’s room. I’m done with this medical shit.”

“What triggered the alarm?” Chan asked, checking each name on each door.

“A rogue. My best bet would be one of our fucked up friends, and my money’s honestly on Joshua. He was a little buggy.”

Chan nodded in agreement. He tried to double check the handwriting and make sure “Kim Mingyu” wasn’t just scribbled illegibly on some door. When he finally found it, he sighed in relief.

Mingyu was knocked out, laying flat on his back on the hospital bed with drugs being pumped into him as they stood there. Jihoon moved in, unplugging all the machines and unhooking absolutely everything from Mingyu. He was completely unconscious, and it annoyed Jihoon more than anything. It was a setback, but they couldn't leave him. Jihoon looked at Chan, who obviously didn't know what to do either. Then, a lightbulb seemed to flick on in the younger boy's head.

“Wait here with him,” Chan said, moving towards the door, “I need to find Seungcheol.”

Jihoon nodded hesitantly. He didn't know if he trusted Chan out alone, but when he witnessed the kid makeshift his own weapon out of the various medical tools doctors left in Mingyu's room, just in case he had to stab someone, he knew he would be okay. In the meantime, he looked at the notes that the nurses continued to write down for Mingyu. 

Mental state undetermined?

 

“Choi Seungcheol!!” Wonwoo shouted out in frustration, “Where the fuck….!”

The hallway only lead to an elevator, but thoroughly checking five floors was getting to Wonwoo more than he would have liked to admit. Hitting the fifth button, he noticed the ride was a lot longer than the others. When the doors opened, he saw the guard tower, “Holy shit.” He stepped out, gripping his gun a little tighter as he looked around the vast land, “Cheol… come on…” he called out, “I’m too old for this fucking bullshit.”

“Holy shit.” Wonwoo breathed out and walked towards the edge. He looked over the edge and just saw zombies upon zombies. There was no way Seungcheol was alive. He was going insane.

He heard the doors open behind him and pointed his gun in that direction, firing before even seeing a face. He missed, he discovered, when a familiar voice growled at him, “It’s  _ me, you fucking asshole. _ ”

Chan slowly stood back up after ducking from the bullet and wiped the dirt off his pants. Wonwoo just rolled his eyes as the younger boy continued, “Guess we have that in common.”

“What?”

“Our voices are so fucking loud, we know exactly how to find one another. Jihoon broke me out because of my yelling, and I found you because you keep shouting for Seung… wait, you mean he’s not with you?”

“I can’t fucking find him.” Wonwoo sighed, “I’ve looked absolutely everywhere.”

“So he’s… not with you… is that a good thing because I know you kinda hated him and...?” Chan asked, and then noticed that Wonwoo was actually, genuinely, worked up and upset. He hesitantly walked closer and peered over the edge, “Is he dead?” 

Wonwoo just shrugged, at a total loss for words. He ran his hands through his hair and groaned in frustration. Chan just watched him for a while, letting him get the anger out before continuing, “I found Mingyu, at least… we’re just missing Seokmin and, well--”

“Fucking Seungcheol.”

“Yeah.” Chan bit his lower lip, “But listen, we need to get to Mingyu like, now.”

Wonwoo took one last look over the edge, trying to at least find Seungcheol’s body and cursed at himself for taking too long. He let Chan lead the way back to Mingyu, because he’d be damned if he let Mingyu die, “Jisoo, Minghao and Jun are in my room. Seokmin’s on the other side of the fucking building because the virus is in his system so, fuck, we gotta get to him soon, too.”

“Who the fuck’s Jisoo?” Chan furrowed his brows.

“Oh, yeah. Joshua’s new name… I don’t know, some shit about people after him -- the guy’s practically a crackhead now. If Jun doesn't kill him, I will.”

Chan pressed the elevator button, “You better put that fucking gun to good use, Jeon.” Wonwoo let Chan go off on his rant about having to kill some guards and doctors and a bunch of shit. He tuned out half of it.

 

“Your name, son. I’m telling you to tell me your name.” a doctor hissed.

Seokmin stayed quiet. He could read lips fine, but couldn’t hear the tone of the person’s voice. His ears rang constantly because of all the warning shots and the amount of times guards have shot people around him down. He was so, so tired-- he hadn’t been able to sleep since arriving at this refugee camp. His eyes were heavy and he felt his head drop into his lap. The warning shot didn’t even startle him anymore. He didn’t even react when the guard behind him yanked him upright by his hair to look the doctor in the eye again.

“Seokmin.” he finally breathed out, barely audible.

“Speak up.” the doctor shouted and the guard tugged again at his hair.

“...min….” Seokmin tried again, eyes closing slowly. He tried so hard to listen.

“He doesn’t want to cooperate? Fine.” The doctor put his pen and paper away and stood up before turning towards the guard holding Seokmin’s head up, “Break him down. I want his name.”

A younger guard watching the scene chimed in, “He just seemed tired. Maybe let him sleep--”

“Zombies don’t sleep.” the other said, shoving Seokmin forward and out of the chair, “He's turning into one as we speak.” he kicked Seokmin in the back forcefully, grinning when he cried out, “Poor bastard thinks there's a cure.”

 

Mingyu didn't recognize Jihoon at first, tapping his fingers to the beat of an unknown song by his bed. He saw Jihoon jump when Mingyu cleared his throat and then brush it off as if it was nothing, “Morning, sleeping beauty.” Mingyu rubbed his eyes and looked around, “I unhooked you from all those machines, I hope that isn't a problem.” Mingyu shook his head. He felt more awake than ever. He didn't know what the machines were for, but assumed they weren't good for him. 

He still had no idea where he was, but Jihoon was by his side (and pretty relaxed), so he assumed he was fine. He sat up and stretched, not realizing how amazing it would feel to do so. Damn, how long was he in this bed? He felt so stiff, as if he just came back from a ten year hibernation period, “I feel great.” he rasped out, then cleared his throat, “Sorr…” he gave up. Jihoon glanced his way and then walked towards the sink, filling a cup he found with water and handing it to the taller boy who silently thanked him. God, how long had it been since he had something to drink.

“Chan’s coming with Seungcheol soon, so I’d figure my balance and shit out now because we’re getting the fuck outta here.”

“What’s with the sirens?” he nearly whispered before coughing.

Jihoon just shrugged, “I don’t know. My money’s on Joshua. Fucking whacko.” Then he got quiet, remembering the statement on Mingyu’s information sheet that deemed his mental state ‘undetermined’. To Jihoon’s knowledge, Mingyu could be even more fucked up.

Not long after, Chan showed up with Wonwoo. Despite Jihoon’s look of confusion, Chan just shrugged and mentioned that he was the first one he found and casually added in that Cheol may or may not have been killed. Jihoon’s eyes widened at the news and turned to Wonwoo, about to demand the full story. Keyword: about to, because when he actually turned to face Wonwoo, Wonwoo was kissing Mingyu, telling him how much he loved and missed him in between kisses.

“Something you wanna tell us?” Jihoon awkwardly asked, glaring at them in almost disgust. Chan, on the other hand, had no idea where to look.

It was as if Wonwoo had just remembered Jihoon and Chan were there, and his whole face got red, “Well, I mean, nothing you don’t already know now…”

“How long have you guys been fucking?”

“I’ll tell you how long you’ve got to fuck off before I shoot you in the damn foot.”

Jihoon held his hands up in surrender and turned to walk out the door, “Let’s get a move on then.”

Mingyu turned to Wonwoo with a sly smile on his face. “Shut the fuck up.” Wonwoo muttered as he helped him stand on his own two feet, “You need some clothes that aren’t a hospital gown.” He quickly rummaged through the closet of the room and found an extra pair of sweatpants and XXXL tee shirt to help Mingyu change into so he wasn’t entirely exposed. 

Mingyu saw a gun poking out of one of the medical cabinets and waited until Wonwoo had his back turned to sneak it into the back of his pants. Jihoon shouted back for them to hurry up, so Wonwoo and Mingyu both decided shoes weren’t entirely necessary and went like that. Mingyu was still sleepy anyways, and couldn’t bother to attempt to put on shoes. They made it to Jun, Minghao and Jisoo right before the whole building automatically went on lockdown.

“Oh, no fucking way am I being locked in here with that psycho any longer!” Jun growled, jabbing a finger Jisoo’s way.

“The fuck did he do?” Chan narrowed his eyes

“The fuck didn’t he do! He’s a god damn traitor muttering to himself about how the guards are good and the doctors are good and all that shit!” Minghao touched Jun’s shoulder and it made him visibly relax slightly. Wonwoo just groaned.

Mingyu cleared his throat and spoke softly, “But, well, the doctors made me feel better so doesn’t that make them… good?”

Jisoo’s demeanor changed once he heard someone on his side of the matter. He casually walked closer to Mingyu and Wonwoo and smiled at the taller. Before Jisoo could open his mouth, Wonwoo spoke up, “Hey, hey. Don’t corrupt him.” Wonwoo glared at Jisoo and turned Mingyu the other way, “Find sleeping arrangements. We’ll have to come up with a plan in the morning.”

“Where’s Cheol?” Minghao asked quietly, and Wonwoo sighed. Chan drew Minghao’s attention onto himself and shook his head, telling him to drop the subject. Minghao looked back between Wonwoo and Chan, confused and annoyed at being left out yet again. Shaking his head, he took the top bunk on the left side and turned to face the wall.

Between the six bunks, Wonwoo and Mingyu shared a bed while the rest had their own. Even though Wonwoo was glad to have Mingyu back, he couldn’t fall asleep at all for those few hours when the sirens cut out and the lights turned off all together. There were only seven left, when there should have been thirteen.

 

The next day, it seemed as if the guards tried to have things go back to normal. Wonwoo was sure guards would be on the lookout for him, and probably for the three that escaped medical, but all he could think about was Seungcheol and Seokmin and how he could at least try harder to make the group nine again. And fuck, while he was at it, he could try to find Jeonghan if he had any free time because he wasn’t quite sure Jisoo told the truth at all.

Ten outta thirteen wouldn’t be too bad.

They shuffled out for breakfast, and Wonwoo noticed all the doors were blocked by two guards each, which was much different than the usual guard per room. 

“This is fucked.” Jun mumbled, “What do I do if they try to give me anything? I bugged out last time, remember?”

“Don’t. Take. Anything.” Wonwoo reminded him, and turned to Minghao, who nodded. 

“I don’t feel good…” Mingyu mumbled, clinging to Wonwoo like a child, forehead resting on his shoulder. Wonwoo still wasn’t much into PDA, but fuck, everyone knew now.

“Don’t take anymore medication, Mingyu. It’s bad for you, okay? You’re probably going through a withdrawal since there’s no more drugs constantly being pumped into your system.” Wonwoo said.

Wonwoo felt off when he realized they were the only ones in the room except for the guards.

Where was everyone else?

Mingyu used his arms for a pillow and fell asleep at the table they all sat at for at least thirty minutes before Wonwoo started to discuss what they were going to do. Then he just sort of lazily listened in. He heard about how Seungcheol went missing through ‘those doors’ (the ones Wonwoo pointed to, filling Jihoon and Chan in), and both he and the guard who took him through those doors never came back. Minghao brought up the fact that insubordination was brought up a lot and how they’d probably be after Wonwoo now, so he couldn’t do shit (which Wonwoo objected to). Mingyu opened his eyes to see Chan’s face in his hands, looking sulky about the whole thing. 

He wanted his medication back, he thought to himself. Wonwoo was stupid for thinking the drugs hurt him rather than helped him, because he definitely felt better on them than he did now. Jisoo seemed calm about the whole matter, and it was everyone else refusing the medication that seemed stressed. Sure, Seungcheol missing and Seokmin in quarantine were issues of their own, but Wonwoo needed to  _ chill out _ .

“Let me try something.” Mingyu said in a small voice, and all eyes turned to him.

“Like what?” Jihoon asked.

“I’m gonna look for him. My darling Wonwoo here pissed a lot of people off so I guess I’ll have to try a different approach.” He started to get up, suddenly feeling much stronger but also much more dizzy.

“You don’t have to--” Wonwoo started, but Mingyu’s sharp glare cut him off. Wonwoo blinked, already not liking this plan. He saw him walk towards two guards, blocking the way Wonwoo pointed towards. Fuck, this was going to be bad.

“I just want to see my friend.” Mingyu said calmly, “I heard he came through here and he never came back, so I want to--”

A blonde guard stopped him, “This is a restricted area--"

“I'll only be a minute.” Mingyu’s patience was wearing thin, “I think he’s in medical--”

“Get back to your seat.”

Jun pushed Wonwoo’s arm slightly, “Go get him before he snaps.” Wonwoo was frozen.

Mingyu didn't move. He looked in between the two guards, then at both of them. He tried to push his way through but both guards pushed him back at once. Before Minghao and Wonwoo could step in, Mingyu pulled out the gun he had been hiding in the waistband of his pants, “Open the  _ fucking door! _ ”

“Calm down--" the brunette guard started, but Mingyu pulled the trigger between the both of them.

The room silenced, and Jihoon found himself shielding Wonwoo with his body. He only realized when Wonwoo tried to pry himself away, “Stay the fuck down.” Jihoon growled in a whisper, “It's those drugs they're giving him… or, the ones they’re not giving him anymore.”

“I can calm him down.” Wonwoo whispered back, trying to stand up again only for Minghao to yank his arm back down. He turned to Minghao, annoyed.

“He isn't in his right mind--" Minghao tried.

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up!” Mingyu whipped around and pointed the gun on them.

Wonwoo looked up at him with his hands up by his head, slowly standing up, “Gyu. Relax, alright?” he spoke softly, inching his way closer, “Let's put the gun down… and--"

“Don't fuckin touch me.” Mingyu growled, keeping the gun pointed at Wonwoo’s chest.

“I won't.” Wonwoo kept his hands to his side, “I won't, but if you put the gun down you won't get tackled by someone else.”

Mingyu turned the gun back to the guards, “Get out of my sight.”

Wonwoo blinked when the guards did, but knew they’d be back, “They're going to kill you, Gyu. You need to stop acting crazy for a minute, put the gun down, and…” he stopped when Mingyu cocked the gun.

Mingyu's eyes changed. Wonwoo remembered the doe-like appearance of them before, but now he just saw anger. He was scared of him. He felt his heart speed up when Mingyu pressed the gun against his chest, “Since when did you give a fuck?”

Wonwoo tried to smile, “Come on, Mingyu, I’ve always cared about you. I’ve always done my best to protect you, haven’t I? Haven’t I looked out for you every step of the way?”

Mingyu shook his head, “You’ve lied to me, and used me, and-and you-you never cared one bit--”

“Who’s telling you all of that? It’s just the drugs-- the medication. You can’t think straight right now. You see they’re trying to turn you against me, and your best friend Hao, and everyone else that has been on your side since the day I tutored you all those years ago.” Wonwoo could see Mingyu’s eyes soften, ever so slightly, and Wonwoo started to see hope, “Remember that day? When you stumbled in like a mad man because you were late and you  _ really  _ needed to pass English?” Mingyu looked at the ground and took his finger off the trigger, “You’re not going to kill me, just like you didn’t kill Jun, or Seokmin, or anybody else.”

“I almost did-- I could--”

“But you didn’t, because you are not like me, or Jun, or Minghao, or even Jos--Jisoo, because you have a heart bigger than all of us and you’re not a killer. Put the gun down, baby, and let me handle everything. Nobody’s going to fuck with you, I promise.”

Mingyu tightened his grip on the gun, “You said we’d get outta here together, and ditch everyone else--”

“I know, I know, and we will.” Wonwoo risked a glance back at Minghao, who just raised his eyebrow at him with a nasty look as if to say ‘ditch us?’, but he ignored him and turned back to Mingyu, “We will, as soon as you get cleared for release because I’m immune and I can go anytime I want, but I’m waiting for you. I love you, Mingyu. I just got you back… you think I’ll do anything to risk losing you again?”

Jisoo ruined everything, “He’s waiting for his fucking money, Mutt. He doesn’t give two shits about you. All he wants is his money, and for you not to shoot him in the dick.”

“Ignore him…” Wonwoo tried, but he could see Mingyu getting all worked up again.

“You’re such a fucking liar, Jeon Wonwoo!”

Mingyu didn’t have time to actually pull the trigger, because two bigger guards managed to sneak up behind him and knock the gun out of his hands while simultaneously force him down to the ground. Wonwoo didn’t know what to do except watch, just like he did when Seungcheol got slammed against the wall and taken away. He watched them shove Mingyu’s face into the floor with their boot and actually handcuff him.

“This was the fucked up one that escaped medical last night.” a guard said to another, “He’s flipped shit every time he’s off medication.”

Wonwoo backed up into the wall and stared at the scene in front of him in absolute horror, feeling so powerless. He watched Mingyu struggle to get up, but the guard replaced the position of his boot from his cheek to the middle of his shoulderblades and used all his might to keep him there.

“I’ll fucking kill you, Jeon Wonwoo.” Mingyu hissed as the guards made him stand up. He lunged towards Wonwoo like a wild animal, and Wonwoo wished he could just blend into the wall behind him. The look in Mingyu’s eyes told Wonwoo that he wasn’t the same anymore, “I’ll fucking kill all of you,” he turned his head to the rest of them, “you all ruined my fucking life!”

Wonwoo watched them drag Mingyu through the same doors they lead Seungcheol through, and all he could do was watch. He felt like time stopped for a moment, until he saw Jun stand up and growl, “Fuck this shit!” and follow them, but not before grabbing the gun Mingyu had left behind. 

“Jun, what are you going to do--” Minghao started, worried.

“Ending this!”

“Junhui!”

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Jun snapped, turning to Minghao. Minghao looked back at him, too surprised to answer, “If you do, I’d follow my fucking lead.”

Minghao turned to Jihoon, who turned to Wonwoo, who stared back at them all in shock. He bit his lip, but knew he had nothing else to lose, “Don’t just stand around.” He growled, somehow stable for how shaken up he was, “Listen to Jun.”

“Now let’s kill a few more people, shall we? It’s all we do anyways, right Jisoo?” Jun gestured towards the other, casually waving the gun around. Jisoo became paler by the second, “You got two seconds to decide whether you’re with us or against us.”

Jisoo didn’t answer verbally. Instead, he stayed on his knees while everyone else stood and dusted themselves off. Jun huffed, “I’ll take that as you’re against us.”

Jun wasted no time shooting Jisoo in the shoulder without any look of guilt on his features. Jihoon’s “Jun, what the fuck!” went one ear and out the other as Jun forced his way through the doors the guards took Mingyu through. Minghao followed quickly after, then Jihoon, and then Chan took one last look at Jisoo before following the others. Wonwoo was the last one to leave, watching the blood pour out of Jisoo’s shoulder. He hated feeling no remorse for the latter, but it was also Jisoo’s fault that Mingyu was taken from Wonwoo yet again. Jun was right about Jisoo the whole time, which pissed Wonwoo off even more.

Without wasting anymore time, he followed the others and left Jisoo to bleed out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I keep disappearing but lol life and work and school yanno.  
> I still love u all and this story its almost over so i mean maybe you'll just have to put up with my bimonthly updating for a little while longer.


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